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Advice needed? Possible ASD

(16 Posts)
Angeale Sun 05-Jul-15 13:39:42

This may be long but I'm keen to get views and ideas on how I can help my brother.

He is nearly 37 and hasn't managed to hold a 'proper' job down - he has a professional qualification but has only worked for a total of two years in that role. He's done what I can only describe as 'bits' of work - agency based mainly.

As a result he is very socially isolated and he spends most of his time inside watching YouTube videos and reading.

He lives a life that's very far removed from normality. It's sad but he's never been on holiday or had a girlfriend or anything like that.

What I'm wondering is if an adult diagnosis would help. I've tried to persuade him but he's resisted so far.

Thanks.

TheHouseOnBellSt Sun 05-Jul-15 13:44:31

I would post in SN op. Although the majority there have children with SN some will be extremely knowledgable....

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs

Angeale Sun 05-Jul-15 13:47:58

Thank you but I tried about 12 months ago and I didn't get any responses smile

TheHouseOnBellSt Sun 05-Jul-15 13:51:39

Really? I'd post again OP....they're very nice there but busy...many post in the evenings when their DC are in bed.

midnightvelvetPart2 Sun 05-Jul-15 13:54:24

There's been a few posters over the years who have had such dx 's as adults but to my knowledge it's not made a massive change for them, apart from affirming what they already suspected. I don't know what if any adult support is available.

Angeale Sun 05-Jul-15 13:57:40

It's really to try and support him so he might be able to hold down a full time job - at the moment he's approaching his 40s and never having worked properly!

Dawndonnaagain Sun 05-Jul-15 14:01:44

I have an adult ASD diagnosis. It did help me at work, but I have always been in academia, in many ways the ideal environment.
Angeale, does he want to work? Does he have any other traits? Have you read the literature, looked at reputable websites?

Angeale Sun 05-Jul-15 14:05:15

Yes, he does want to work but his confidence is just non existent. He also gets terrible anxiety about things that seem silly to me but aren't presumably to him.

I have a friend who works in diagnosis and she assumed he was ASD as soon as she met him.

I got a dx of high function ASD/Asperger's as an adult and I have found it useful. No, there isn't any significant support available but it's been very helpful in that it's completely changed my relationship with my employers. Knowing that you have it means that you can ask for reasonable adjustments to be made - in my case it means I work from home sometimes and sit in a quieter part of the office but also means that my manager now considers whether something in my behaviour that they're not happy with is actually ASD related rather than ascribing NT motivations to it. So, I'd get feedback before that I "didn't seem engaged" (whatever the feck that even means!) which apparently was because I wasn't volunteering to do things and wasn't giving people regular enough updates. It was being interpreted as "didn't care/not interested" when in actual fact it was a mix of a: didn't know you wanted me to volunteer (or even that there was anything to be volunteering for cos you didn't ask for volunteers), and I didn't know what your expectations were in terms of updates because you didn't tell me.

That sounds minor and hard to explain, but I was on the verge of disciplinary action and being managed out the door at one point and pretty much all of it was to do with misunderstandings relating to ASD.

Angeale Sun 05-Jul-15 14:08:28

This is exactly the sort of problems and issues my poor brother has faced - and I feel he's been discriminated against over something that isn't his fault, but of course this isn't being addressed without a diagnosis.

In that case I would say it's well worth considering. You don't say what his professional qualification is but if appropriate he might find a larger company -of the type with a large hr department who know their shit-worth considering employment wise.

Dawndonnaagain Sun 05-Jul-15 16:02:42

If he does have ASC he may not welcome comments and offers of diagnosis, knee-jerk reaction will be a fairly basic 'piss off'! I often suggest that people leave a book (Tony Attwood Asperger Syndrome: A guide for Parents and Professionals, is one among many) lying around in the loo. Give it six weeks and then start discussing it. Hopefully (ime, usually) person concerned has perused whilst on loo and is more willing to engage.

Angeale Sun 05-Jul-15 16:11:10

Thank you. I will order that book and read it myself. I want him to feel proud of who and what he is.

Balacqua Sun 05-Jul-15 16:43:15

Excellently interesting posts on here- wishing your db all the best.

Angeale Sun 05-Jul-15 21:21:05

I think we may have a breakthrough in conceding a diagnosis may be helpful!

That's really positive - it's hard to admit that actually, maybe there is something "wrong" and it's not just a bunch of random circumstances/coincidences/bad bosses etc that's been causing problems. But I have genuinely found it a very positive decision overall.

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