Time off school - WWYD?

[Fatmomma99]

Hi All

I think I know the answer - MN is quite firm on this, but going to ask the question anyway.
My DD is away this week, not with school, but a group she is part of outside it. School have given consent for her to miss school this week. She's back on Sunday quite late 11ish, if all goes well at airport/on the roads.

This week is going to be VERY full on, and she is the youngest one there (she's 13 1/2).

They're all exhausted at this time of the year anyway. Next week is the last week of term, and there's going to be very little work happening - lots of activities planned.
She has excellent attendance (98%).

I'm really tempted to let her sleep in on Monday morning and send her in when she naturally wakes. I won't lie to school about it, and she'll get a U in the register for the morning.

Is that terrible? (runs and hides)

[toomuchicecream]

I think that sounds like a very sensible plan. As a teacher I'd far rather teach a child who isn't tired and grumpy and moody. Don't make a decision now, just don't set the alarm and see what happens. She might be awake anyway.

[Twinkie1]

She's 13 not 3. Wake her and send her in.

[raffle]

Well, if she's back at 11pm she won't be in bed and asleep until much later, after telling you all her news and maybe having a bite to eat.

I would probably keep her off if she didn't wake up rested. But she might do if she's keen to see her school friends and gear all their gossip?

I would see how she is when you wake her.

[takemetomars]

nope, YANBU, would probably do the same.
expect flaming. go with what you want to do

[TheVeryHungryPreggo]

I would let her sleep in. She will be in a better position to learn/pay attention if she's rested and in a good mood.

I find forcing oneself back into a routine without any recovery time just means you're carrying the fatigue-hangover from the weekend around with you and then suffering through the whole week.

[afterthought2]

As a teacher I would also much rather you send her after a nice long sleep. I have had children kept at home before when a parent has felt they are too tired and would cause havoc, I've always been grateful to them, although I couldn't tell them that! An unauthorised absence is not a big deal.

[Fatmomma99]

I will be flamed, won't I. I do know MN is generally very firm on this.

I'm thinking not setting an alarm and letting her wake naturally, whatever time that is. Thank you toomuchice and takeme.

(actually, I think I'm really only posting because I'm missing her,and writing about her makes her feel closer).

[EastMidsMummy]

What's the worst that will happen if she goes in tired?? FFS, some people are so mollycoddling with their kids. She's 13, not a toddler!!

[Fatmomma99]

x posted. Thanks also VeryHungry and afterthought. to you all for telling me what I wanted to hear!

[TinyManticore]

My 13yo wouldn't be fazed in the least by the late night, as he seems to need very little sleep anyway, but you know her best and if you think she won't cope with school after a late night, let her have a lie-in. I would disagree any other time of year but the last week of term is really not vital.

[Topseyt]

I'd probably send her in.

If you got back from holiday at 11pm and were due at work the next morning you would still be expected to be on time, tired or not. You can't just say then that you decided to just come in when you woke up.

I think kids have to learn that.

[Teabagbeforemilk]

Yanbu. If I am tired I am physically sick, so is dd. If I sent her in she would be sick then be told she couldn't go back in for 48hrs. It's happened before.

Mn generally things kids should be off school. Personally I think most parents should be able to make the decision themselves and am against the whole fining rubbish.

Her attendance is usually high so you obviously don't do it a lot.

[littlejohnnydory]

Let her lie in. She won't benefit from anything they do at school if she's exhausted. Some posters don't seem to remember how exhausted we were when we got back from school exchanges, camps etc.

[cariadlet]

Another teacher here, and another vote for letting her lay in. Then she'll be fresh for school for the rest of the week.

[ArseForElbow]

Let her lie in one day wont make much difference, especially so close to end of term.

[WinnieTheWilt]

I'm a teacher, and I'm exhausted. I think I'll have a lie in tomorrow too.

[Wolfiefan]

My DS recently went away with the school. He got to bed at 11:30 and went into school next day. I got him to set his alarm. If he'd been much delayed or woke feeling utterly crap I wouldn't have sent him. I couldn't make that call in advance.
I'd send her in probably. I get you're missing her but is that half the reason you want to keep her off?

[WhyTheDrama]

Id send her in then make sure she has an early night on Monday.

[theendoftheendoftheend]

I'd let her lie in

[evmil]

I'd say YANBU if its a one off. DSS3 (13) does a lot of events at the weekend that finish quite late on Sunday night. As it happens regularly we tend to send him in.

However, a few weeks ago they were delayed and didn't return until gone 3am. He hadn't slept much on the way back either, and when DH woke him up for school he was exhausted, so DH let him sleep in a few extra hours and took him in later on. He was honest with his form teacher who said he didn't mind, and would rather he very occasionally came in later than turned up exhausted.

That said, is 11pm that late for a 13yo as a one off? DSS3 doesn't get home from class until gone 11 some nights, and its up for in the morning. Perhaps wake your DD up at normal and see if she feels ready (if she is the type of child who would be honest) and go from there. If she feels really tired she could always go back to sleep.

[mintpoppet]

You do realise it's ok to be tired occasionally. She'll be fine. She can have an early night on the Monday surely.

[Fatmomma99]

I know teachers are tired too at this time of year, Winnie, but she's having a full-on week with less sleep AND a late night on a Sunday on top of the tiredness everyone at school gets at this time of year.

I do usually get her up even when she's done something that leads to a late night, but this is extra + last week of school.

Once I wake her, she is awake. I've only known her wake up and drop back off again twice in her life, so it's a decision I need to make in advance on her behalf. And she will be desperate to go and see her friends and catch up on their news and share hers, so I won't be getting any thanks from her!

Very grateful for comments and feedback.

Thank you.

[Theycallmemellowjello]

Eh tbh I'd send her in. She'll be tired for a day - big deal. She won't have homework, it won't be a massively full on day - she can go to bed at 9pm on the Monday night and get a good rest. I think it's good to teach consequences. I also think that children have a right to education and that it's actually a bit unfair on them to keep them off school, even if they ask for it.