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To not be able to get over something so trivial

(16 Posts)
Passpartout30 Sat 04-Jul-15 22:33:44

I kissed a colleague at Christmas party (was reciprocated). I can't get over it. I have convinced myself I have feelings for them, they're not interested and I have damaged my standing at work (only with them, no-one else knows). I need to leave. I am sinking further and further into depression and irrationality, I don't want to feel so unhappy anymore.

Bakeoffcake Sat 04-Jul-15 22:42:44

Were either of you with a partner at the time?

FranBrodie Sat 04-Jul-15 22:44:25

It's July! It's nowhere near the worst thing to have happened at a Xmas party and I expect everyone else has completely forgotten about it. If you still have feelings for them, then try to figure out where you're going from now, but honestly, Xmas parties don't count!

ajandjjmum Sat 04-Jul-15 22:45:20

As I see it, you have two choices. You either put it in a box - it was Christmas after all! - leave it to one side, and get on with your career. Or you look for work elsewhere.

It really shouldn't be as all consuming as it seems to be for you - hope you can work through this. smile

Hassled Sat 04-Jul-15 22:47:32

Well it's not trivial if you're still thinking about it in July.

But you do need some perspective - you had a crush (we've all been there), you were a bit of a fool at a party (we've all been there) and now you're embarrassed (we've all been there). I doubt the depression is really to do with the kiss - I think you might just be depressed and the kiss is the thing you're focussing on. Please go and see your GP and ask for some help. There is help out there.

NoArmaniNoPunani Sat 04-Jul-15 22:49:20

Don't worry, I told everyone I have a massive vagina at the Christmas party.

Starbrite00 Sat 04-Jul-15 22:51:28

I feel for you. You sound like you know logically you don't have real feelings for him.
Are you lonely? I have felt like this before and it was hard, I knew it wasn't logically but at the time ot was all I could think about.
In reality I was very unhappy and the feelings o thought I had was an escape.
I would suggest you visit your gp and have a chat about how low your feeling x

ComfySensibleShoes Sat 04-Jul-15 22:52:44

What? Christmas was ages ago! Has more happened since then? Did you kiss again?

Passpartout30 Sat 04-Jul-15 23:00:17

I think a chat with a gp is overdue. I know it was just a silly Christmas kiss. He's much, much older and married and I am married. I told my husband straight away and he was very understanding actually. I am lonely. I love my husband but something is not right. I am still obsessing over this. I feel like I want something more from this man but it's probably just a feeling of being wanted. I wish I could shake it off. I'm a little frightened that I can't do that and just bounce back actually sad

Passpartout30 Sat 04-Jul-15 23:01:54

Thank you all for your insight so far. I really appreciate it.

FarFromAnyRoad Sat 04-Jul-15 23:04:27

<<<splutters laughing at "I have a massive vagina">>>
What was the context armani?

QueenofallIsee Sun 05-Jul-15 20:47:26

I don't wish to derail the very important, supportive thread for the OP so I have to INSIST that a thread is started re massive vagina

SorchaN Mon 06-Jul-15 00:08:28

It's awful to have feelings for someone who isn't interested. But there are other people in the world who you could have feelings for, and many of those people will have feelings for you too. You need to find one of them. As soon as you meet someone else you're interested in, who is also interested in you, it will be easy to forget about your colleague. (Or to put it another way, the best way to get over a man is to get under a man... It works for getting over women too...)

GriefLeavesItsMark Mon 06-Jul-15 00:29:10

Armarni - did you offer to show them?

Teabagbeforemilk Mon 06-Jul-15 06:28:58

You say you convinced yourself you have feelings for him.

Have you done that to try and ease your guilt? I have seen that before people convince themselves the the party their indiscretion was with is the love of their life, to justify going behind their dh/dw backs?

TheQueenOfSheba Mon 06-Jul-15 06:39:45

Ha ha! I did this. At last year's Christmas party. I shared a taxi with the office heartthrob 22 years my junior and he just kissed me, out of the blue, in the taxi. God know why, he must have been really drunk.

I was mortified when I got home and suicidal by the time I got up in the morning. I had to learn to laugh it off. When I confided in a colleague, she told me that there were a couple of other, er, indiscretions that night. So I wasn't the only one.

These things happen. Don't worry about it too much. Just don't drink so much in future (not to self).

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