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To hate my birthday present?

(49 Posts)
ungratefulfecker Sat 04-Jul-15 15:57:59

My mum asked me what I'd like, I said I'd quite like a piece of jewellery. I don't really have much jewellery and have wanted some nice bits for ages - annoyingly, no one has ever given me a piece of jewellery that I like - in retrospect, this should have been a warning sign. Past disasters have included a Pandora bracelet, which I also hate (too bling-y, a bit commercial).

She's got me a necklace, and I really, really don't like it. I feel bad for not liking it, but it's just not my style at all! It's all metal, despite me mentioning I'd like a bit of sparkle, and all sort of boxy pseudo New Age, with a twee message on the back. And it wasn't cheap, either.

I feel both disappointed and guilty at being disappointed. I know I am being U, but why do people keep giving me this kind of 'handmade' odd looking stuff?? I'm tempted to create a pinterest board and just email a link to people in the future.

snowglobemouse Sat 04-Jul-15 16:03:04

it's a shame you don't like it but...oh well! just wear it a few times around her. no big deal

pictish Sat 04-Jul-15 16:04:37

Well jewellery was a bit of a dicey thing to ask for imo. Taste in jewellery is so personal, the chances of ever getting it right for someone else, even some you know well, are pretty much non existent.

I think you should ask if you can take it back.

RepeatAdNauseum Sat 04-Jul-15 16:06:45

I don't think you can just ask for jewellery. You need to ask for a sparkly bracelet like this one, or a pendant necklace like that one, with examples. Otherwise, you're relying on the other person's taste and budget and knowledge of you, and jewellery is quite personal.

What a shame you don't like it! Is there any way you could exchange it?

I would never ask for jewellery, for this very reason. The Pinterest idea might work, next time. Or do you have an Amazon account? You can do a wishlist on there, even if people just use it for ideas.

LashesandLipstick Sat 04-Jul-15 16:10:22

This is why I ask for vouchers, or devise a list of presents and tell people specific things. I find if you just say something like "jewellery" it's too vague and people get weird stuff that's either "safe" and boring or the wrong style.

OP next time, maybe say "jewellery, like THESE" and show a range of ideas you like in different price ranges. That usually works.

rookiemere Sat 04-Jul-15 16:12:53

Jewellery is so personal it's really hard for someone else to get it right, sometimes even if I like a piece it doesn't suit me when it's on.

I have had to be very direct with DH about this after he spent a fortune on a statement piece for Christmas the other year - I didn't like it and could only do exchanges not a refund - disappointing as I would have loved an i-mac and it was roughly the same price.

Yabu and ungrateful tbh, but I think you know that! You should have been more specific, if getting it 'right' mattered so much to you. If there are specific styles/brands that you like or dislike, then you really need to give people guidance, rather than expecting them to be mindreaders. It's a shame that you don't like it, but I think it was probably inevitable.

Roussette Sat 04-Jul-15 16:21:17

Asking for a piece of jewellery is such a broad request that the chances of anyone buying something you really like is pretty remote! It's like asking for 'perfume' and not liking the smell, which is also likely to happen

tidalwaveover Sat 04-Jul-15 16:46:35

I agree with you, you are an ungrateful fucker wink

FraggleHair Sat 04-Jul-15 16:54:09

annoyingly, no one has ever given me a piece of jewellery that I like

That does sound quite brattish.

Buy your own.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 Sat 04-Jul-15 16:56:29

if you are picky with jewellery (and theres nothing wrong with that) you shouldn't ask people to buy it for you, unless you pretty much point out exactly what you want. It's not fair on them.

timeforabrewnow Sat 04-Jul-15 16:56:30

I think you need to have a word with yourself! (Easy for me to say as my DH has great taste in jewellery and has only given me one pair of earrings that I didn't like much in 17 years)

Maybe wear it a few times and pretend to your Mum that you like it, then accidently sell it lose it - and buy something that you like.

2rebecca Sat 04-Jul-15 17:40:12

In future be specific "I would really love this necklace" . Relatives often buy presents like jewellery based on what they think you liked when you were a teenager. My inlaws are better at buying me jewellery than my family as they base it on what I wear now not what I wore 20 years ago.

ApignamedJasper Sat 04-Jul-15 18:05:17

YANBU OP, I find it really hard to find jewellery I like in the shops these days, my sort of style just doesn't seem to fit with what's on sale. I taught myself how to make jewellery so now I dont have to buy it fortunately grin and the stuff I make (in my opinion obviously) is so much nicer than a lot of stuff in the shops, cheaper too!

If anyone does buy me something I don't like now I can't just modify it to make it something I do like. Is this an option for you maybe? Now if I could only make my own clothes.....

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sat 04-Jul-15 18:07:16

You need to be a bit more specific next time , asking for jewellery is like asking for 'clothes,' you could end up with anything!

Just wear it a few times or ask if you can return it.

CardinalRed Sat 04-Jul-15 18:08:46

Your best bet is to find a jeweller who makes pieces you like.
An independent shop, where pieces are made individually or in small runs. This doesn't mean they are going to be hugely pricey, because the high street chains have massive Mark ups for mass produced pieces.

fuzzywuzzy Sat 04-Jul-15 18:09:51

You know you're very particular regarding jewellery you really should have sent her links to several examples of what you wanted.

Ask for the receipt and swap for something you will appreciate.

APlaceOnTheCouch Sat 04-Jul-15 18:17:27

Would your DM be offended if you changed it? It not, then take it back, get something you like and show everyone the new piece then they will know what to buy in the future . The pinterest board isn't a bad idea either.

DH used to buy me nice jewellery and then it all got a bit unwearable. It turned out he thought I liked sparkly things . . . which I do when I see them. I'm a bit like a magpie oooh! shiny! so I comment on shiny, sparkly pieces but actually my personal style is much less blingy. Now if I ask for jewellery, I go with him and point out a few pieces so he has a shortlist.

ungratefulfecker Sat 04-Jul-15 18:59:58

I know, I know, IABU. grin

I don't really know what to do, tbh. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I also I just don't like that style of jewellery and the point is for it to be something special for me to keep. This is the stuff in question, in case you're curious.

WIBU to ask her to take it back, do you think? Would I be being a cow?

Zakken Sat 04-Jul-15 19:10:20

If I was your mum, I would want you to have something you really like, so I wouldn't be offended if you asked to change it. Mind you, I would have asked you to show me what you wanted before I bought anything.

It's such a shame that people aren't more open about presents - I think too much is invested in a present being a surprise. But it's such a waste to spend money on something that's not going to be appreciated (not a dig). My mum always gave me things that she liked, or that would have suited her own style. I think most of us do this to some degree.

Roussette Sat 04-Jul-15 20:33:06

ungratefulfecker that jewellery is quite niche I would say and certainly not my taste!

How you handle it, god only knows!

Cabawill Sat 04-Jul-15 20:38:32

ungrateful That is quite a marmite collection- I think you'd either love it or loathe it. (I'm not keen personally)

How you handle it I've not got any advice I'm afraid. Can you wear it a bit and see if it grows on you?

AlpacaPicnic Sat 04-Jul-15 20:43:24

How fecking much is that jewellery?! Wow... I like a couple of the necklaces but I must be well out of touch because no way would I pay those prices...

ungratefulfecker Sat 04-Jul-15 21:30:34

I think the materials are quite good, Alpaca... shame about the design. grin

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