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To ask for you tips to deal with depression?

(50 Posts)
Summerbreezer Sat 04-Jul-15 15:51:27

I have decided that I am mildly depressed. I constantly feel low, despite not having anything to feel particularly low about at the moment.

I feel constantly paranoid and am scared people are talking about me behind my back - even random people in the street.

I live alone, which I generally love, but now just feel desperately lonely all the time.

I am also engaging in negative behaviours - overeating, drinking too much etc to try and make myself feel better.

Anyway, I know I can go and get some anti-d's if necessary and I am perfectly happy to do so. However, I would like to try feeling better without going down that route at the moment.

Does anyone have any tips for curing / reducing depression? Thanks!

elliejjtiny Sat 04-Jul-15 15:59:58

I have depression and I'm with you on the loneliness. I find going on an adult education course really helps. Something fun where you can meet new people. The childrens centre near me organised something for some of the vulnerable mums a few years ago. They looked after the dc while we did an art and craft course. On the last session the HV came and admired what we'd made, it was really good.

PisforPeter Sat 04-Jul-15 16:03:03

I can't recommend exercise enough!

KayAdams Sat 04-Jul-15 16:03:09

I think the general opinion is this:

1) Exercise in the outside, ie walking. Stephen Fry downloads audio books onto his ipod and walks for miles listening to stories.

2) Avoid stimulants which are actually a depressive. So this means no alcohol, no coffee, no sugar.

3) Try not to isolate yourself. Keep talking to people.

4) Get a pet, ideally a dog.

The above might not be practical.

I have suffered from terrible depression since Easter. Half of it is circumstantial, but I've moved to an area where I know no one, no family, friends, no job and I'm terribly isolated. The school mums are not friendly (DH went to a parents do yesterday and for once actually confirmed that they were not friendly and I wasn't being paranoid as he had previously accused me of being). I think I've always had a depressive streak but it's been hidden behind working crazy hours, looking after the family and always being busy. Now that I'm on my own all day, with a girl at boarding school, my safety nets have been stripped away and my depression has become acute. Like you, I want to avoid anti depressants like the plague.

I stopped eating chocolate and got even worse so I started eating chocolate again and it has helped. Also, my mum has been ill and was recommended concentrated cherry juice - she says she feels a ton better and feels like her old self again, so I might try that.

Eat well, sleep well, exercise well, buy yourself treats and plan things so that you are always looking forward to something.

Hope this helps, although, as we both know, it's easier to say something that it is to actually do it.


EastMidsMummy Sat 04-Jul-15 16:48:13

Please don't ignore medication. It might only be for the short term and it helps a lot of people (it helped me).

Other things that helped me:

Getting outside. Exercise was good, but I think it was the dragging myself out there that was more important.

Timetabling things where you meet people.

Listing the positive things in your life.

Relaxation techniques/ (Google it).

Loud singing!

FarFromAnyRoad Sat 04-Jul-15 16:53:55

I highly recommend the points of Kay's post that I know work. Ditch sugar (I'm afraid coffee was a step too far for me!) and get a dog. The dog will force you outside and before long you'll find you're really enjoying that. Exercise doesn't have to be aerobics or spinning round like a Weeble on acid!
If you don't want to commit fully to a dog then have a look for a scheme called 'Borrow my Dog' where you hook up with people who occasionally need their dogs walked - it's a brilliant way of getting out without the full time commitment and you meet people too.

MrsWooster Sat 04-Jul-15 16:55:51

Exercise, mindfulness- interweb- and talking therapy if at all poss. Ifit really starts to sink then don't totally rule out ad's but I know it's strange... Most of all It Will Pass; tho defining characteristic of this vileness is that it seems permanent and inevitable

QueenStromba Sat 04-Jul-15 17:13:54

High strength vitamin D3 and B vitamins are good. Basically everyone in this country is vitamin D deficient and that can cause depression and the B vitamins are good for increasing energy levels.

redexpat Sat 04-Jul-15 20:59:25

Exercise, outdoors if poss. I find zumba is a blast of endorphines and yoga is good to keep on an even keel.

Pay attention to what you eat. Apples are supposed to be good.

Ive just started using a mindfulness app called headspace.

Structure and routine helps me greatly.

I hope some of that will work for you too. thanks

Summerbreezer Sun 05-Jul-15 12:13:47

Thank you all, much appreciated.

AnotherEmma Sun 05-Jul-15 12:25:45

Mindfulness (there's an 8-week course which trails have shown is more effective than anti-depressants)
CBT or other counselling

AnotherEmma Sun 05-Jul-15 12:27:47

PS I agree with PPs who recommend yoga, walking and Zumba

Mermaidhair Sun 05-Jul-15 12:58:26

I have suffered with depression all of my adult life. The only thing that has worked for me is God. I've done multiple medications, exercise, mindfulness, affirmations, psychiatrist, psychologist, counsellor, illegal drugs etc. Becoming a Christian and having a real personal relationship with Jesus has saved my life. I don't care if anyone thinks I'm a loony! I know how he has changed my life. I hope you find something that works for you, I know how debilitating it can be.

alwaysaskingquestionz Sun 05-Jul-15 13:07:51

Try to catch yourself doing any negative self talk to yourself, and replace with something positive. Be kind to yourself; do nice things for yourself and talk kindly to yourself.

Plan for very low times - books, films, easy but nourishing food to have in.. things to immerse yourself into when it all gets too blue.

Eat well, drink lots of water, good sleep hygiene, gentle exercise.
I cannot stress enough the importance of leaving the house when you've been in it too long, just point your feet in a direction and walk.
Hope you feel better soon flowers

Dowser Sun 05-Jul-15 13:24:01

Enforced loneliness as opposed to choosing to be alone is just horrible.

I agree with a lot of posters vit d3 is essential and b vitamins.

A SAD lamp even in summer if you dont get out much

A couple of sessions with a counsellor. Mind is very good. For that.

I think you need a three pronged attack.

1 what goes into / onto your body. Good nutrition. No junk. Good Quality vits and mins. A nice massage with uplifting oils like geranium or ylang ylang cal Ing like lavender. If you qhave no onto do it for you you can reach most of your body apart from your back.
magnesium is very important to the body and lack of can make you feel tired. You can buy a magnesium spray from h and b to spray on your body.

2 what you do with your mind. Counselling. Meditation.positive thinking. Learn EFT. Google Gary Craig

3 what you do with your body. Exercise. Get out into fresh air. Do you expose all your limbs to the sunshine. Socialising. Meeting up with like minded people for hobbies/ quizzes/ meals out etc
Play a sport. Ladies netball. That should widen your friends base.
There's never been a better time for all this stuff. Friends and family. Often the best support there is.

I would only resort to anti D's as a very last resort and after all the other avenues are explored.

We are meant to feel . Feelings follow thought. If you dwell on negative stuff then you will feel negative.

If you feel it's only mild then following some or all of these suggestions should give you a tremendous boost

LHReturns Sun 05-Jul-15 13:35:40

So much excellent advice here! Things I have forgotten and must try again.

Exercise outside (must increase heart rate), sunshine (naughtily I have been known to have a few sun beds to help my mood), take Omega 3,6,9, magnesium and zinc, talk on the phone to people, don't just send emails and texts, and VERY sadly ditching alcohol and coffee (and sugar as much as possible) is the most useful. I had two Cosmopolitans yesterday and today I feel so grumpy.

By the way I am on ADs too following very severe PND earlier this year (I am on escitalopram), but I never had to take more than 10mg, and find it works so much better if I follow the above advice. OP, I would try the advice first, as getting on to ADs is a slow pain in ass, and there are always side effects, especially for first three months or so.

mommyof23kids Sun 05-Jul-15 13:45:59

I realised that I was lying to myself. I wasn't worthless or useless. I was just like everyone else, not the worst person in the world but not the most special either. Just a normal person. So every time I thought something negative I'd immediately tell myself that it was a lie. After a while it became so ingrained that it still happens now over 10 years later. If even a tiny shitty thought about myself pops into my head I immediately think "that's a lie"

lushilaoshi Sun 05-Jul-15 14:11:20

Oh hugs flowers

I suffered from depression, anxiety and insomnia and I have to say that the one thing that changed it for me dramatically was antidepressants. However, I can totally understand why some would be reluctant to start with those, especially if (as you say) your depression is relatively mild.

I also saw a therapist: a private one as the NHS is unfortunately pretty rubbish at that sort of thing. She was amazing, totally helped me change my outlook on life. If you can afford it, it's worth every penny. You may have to shop around a bit until you find your 'fit' - I tried one other before I went with my therapist. But I found her extremely effective.

Theycallmemellowjello Sun 05-Jul-15 14:14:32

For me medication gave me the lift I needed. I'd see a gp and tell them everything. Self-diagnosis does not work with mental illness sadly. I thought I was just a bit low - but in retrospect I was severely depressed by the time I sought treatment. I even managed to explain away incidents of depressive psychosis. Talking it through with a medical professional is best. Good luck.

Love51 Sun 05-Jul-15 14:15:21

Exercise. Join a team, that way you feel.obliged to turn up even if not in the mood. That is a good thing!

HeisenbergSaysHello Sun 05-Jul-15 14:20:45

Exercise is good but in my case the only thing that helped me was antidepressants, they where a bloody wonder drug for me

Twodogsandahooch Sun 05-Jul-15 14:29:11

Avoid alcohol

ribbitTheFrog Sun 05-Jul-15 14:31:59

I have found my pet cat great - gives company and loves being stroked and cuddled, low maintenance too as happy to be left at home while I work.

I agree you need to get out - go for a walk etc.

I had never been to church before but I started going to my local church of England, very friendly without being pressured, I find it quite calming and meditative too, even though I'm not very religious if that makes sense!

throwingpebbles Sun 05-Jul-15 14:35:06

Exercise, socialise, learn something new (I am teaching myself piano, but it could be anything), mindfulness (there are apps and books or try mindfulness type activities like colouring in/knitting etc)
Also, I find doing something kind for someone else really helps, so I go out of my way to look after others and that boosts my friendship and makes me feel good take someone out for lunch to say thank you, offer a lift somewhere or to babysit someone's kids or similar things
It's bloody hard and I have been on some dark places but just keep fighting it with everything f you've got.

throwingpebbles Sun 05-Jul-15 14:36:11

I have a pedometer and trying to make sure I do at least 10000 steps a day or more really helps (doing it as part of the global corporate challenge but you could just do similar on your own)

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