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to not want to talk to the crisis team?

(10 Posts)
redannie118 Sat 04-Jul-15 13:34:17

Having terrible time at the min. My DH has bipolar 2 and the last 2 years have been a steady stream of illness,stress,self harm and constant problems. Last year I was told my job was being outsourced to india in 3 months and I had to find a new one. A few weeks later DH got suspended from work and although I told him he would get sacked and he needed to resign first he refused. This dragged on for 6 months then he was sacked 2 weeks after I started my job so now I had sole responibilty for financially supporting my family of five in ajob I had only been in for 2 mins. He applied for loads of jobs but kept getting turned down as he had been sacked from his last job. I was burning with resentment that he had lost his job at all but if he had resigned like I told him too he would have had no problems getting a new job.i was physically ill with the stress and when I went to thr docs I was told I have lupus and some days im in so much pain I can barely get up but I have to work 40 hours plus to support us. Now hes found out he has to go to court next month for getting into a heated row with someone in street (yet again something that could be avoided)and hes had a total breakdown again. The crisis team have got involved and DH has made a app for me as hes worried im depressed.he got really upset when I said I dont want to talk to them and the reason why is that I just want to live in the same normal world as everyone else where talking to the crisis team isnt a fucking option!!!!!!! AIBU?am I cutting my nose off to spite my face and should I talk to them?

alwaysaskingquestionz Sat 04-Jul-15 15:08:34

Don't blame you for wanting bugger all to do with them, you must be sick to death of the whole mental health deal. Call them if you think you're going to harm ypursf, they're good at 'life support'. Otherwise, I think you're doing a stunningly heroic job of holding your family together and maintaining normality for your children throughout untold stress. You amazing awesome woman. Is there some more support you could get for DH? Are you receiving enough support? Is talking to work an option, could they do anything to help?

Florriesma Sat 04-Jul-15 15:11:56

You might benefit from talking to the crisis team about your dh and how his behaviour is contributing to your stress and depression? So that they are aware of the consequences of his illness if you get what I mean?

deriant Sat 04-Jul-15 15:16:29

The crisis team would be talking to you as a carer. Unless you are suicidal you won't meet the threshold to be helped by them by yourself, but because you are your DHs carer, they have a responsibility to you.
I totally understand the anger you are feeling as I have been in a similar situation. Your DPs bipolar needs to be controlled properly. Is he prescribed mood stabilisers and does he take them?

redannie118 Sat 04-Jul-15 16:17:28

Always,thank you what a lovely thing to say but I dont have any further support I also care for my mum and dont want to burden her and dh family dont get involved. Work is good though and I can take time off and make it up later if needed
florrie-yes I do think your right about having a word
deriant yes he does take his mood stablisers and in fact has just had them upped but they havent kicked in yet

BallsforEarrings Sat 04-Jul-15 16:35:06

I find the crisis team to be a government 'box ticked' - no good in an actual MH crisis, (I am a carer too).

Who I have found to be the absolute ultimate support, and I mean life saving support here, has been my social worker, not the social worker allocated to my family member, the one for mepersonally, the one I shouted for and the one I was provided with after two year of lonely hell. I literally coped through the darkest times because of him and his extensive knowledge advice and practical help.

As for the crisis team, people suffering from MH issues around the UK find them to be substandard and not 'there' for them in an actual MH crisis but just there to say the most standard things.

redannie118 Sat 04-Jul-15 16:51:50

Hello balls I never knew I could apply for a social worker how do you go about it?

BallsforEarrings Sat 04-Jul-15 20:11:05

Well personally I had to beg for help, I said i was at the end of my tether and desperate after a couple of years with the only support goin directly to my relative, at this point they put me in touch with one and he has saved us numerous times.

All I know is that facilities vary throughout the uk, I hope you can access similar help but you need to shout for anything you need or they will not provide it.

QuiteLikely5 Sat 04-Jul-15 20:17:45

Gosh you have got your plate full.

Do you want to stay with your dh? He is causing you a lot of problems at the moment. Could he maybe live with his parents for a few months to take the pressure off you both?

He needs to take responsibility for his actions and you should not have to carry him through life.

redannie118 Sun 05-Jul-15 19:55:11

Quite..this is the isssue to stay or go. He has so many good points..he is kind,warm,loving,hes my best friend and such good company when hes well. Hes very supportive and affectionate and while hes been at home hes worked so hard to contribute(his words not mine)I come home from work every night and house is spotless teas on the table,washing and ironing done etc plus he attends several job interviews a week..ive lost count of the amount of offers that ate withdrawn once they find out about his dismissal/mental health. Also hes step dad to my boys who utterly adore him and im step mum to his wonderful daughter who I love to bits (as do my sons) if I left it would destroy my family yet I cant remember the last time I felt happy or that life wasnt just a total grind with nothing to look forward to im just so worn down I really dont know what to think

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