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to not give my 13 year old this responsibility?

(9 Posts)
popmimiboo Sat 04-Jul-15 13:08:02

We live abroad, it's really hot and we have a lovely outdoor village pool.
Next week, my DDs, 13 and 9 are going to a sports club all week from 9-4 (already summer hols here.) A neighbour has asked me to pick up her 9 year old (C) too which is no problem. The plan was to drop her home (teenage brother at home), drop my two at home, then head back to work as I teach an evening class from 5-7.
However, due to hot weather, I think it would be nice to drop my DDs at the pool. Pool is 5 minute walk from home, they know the staff there well and can both swim. 13 year old is very sensible and perfectly capable of looking after her sister.
Problem is the friend. She will want to go swimming too and I'm worried her mum will think I'm BU to drop her home but let mine go to the pool. I'm really reluctant to make my 13 year old responsible for this (not very sensible) child though.
WIBU to just say, DD1 and DD2 are going to the pool but we can't invite C as I will not be there to supervise?

findingmyfeet12 Sat 04-Jul-15 13:10:50

I think that sounds reasonable. She can't expect your daughter to supervise hers.

Would you take her daughter to the pool too if your friend made it clear that your daughter would in no way be responsible for her?

Pumpkinpositive Sat 04-Jul-15 13:12:35

Surely it's not your business if this mother decides to allow her children to go to the pool unsupervised?

Maybe she allows her kid to go to the pool unsupervised all the time? It's only a short distance from her home too, isn't it?

And the pool is manned by staff, surely? It's not as if your daughter is going to be there alone responsible for 2 9 years olds.

Has this woman given you any indication she expects your daughter to be responsibile for her child?

Or have I picked all of that up wrong? confused

MarkRuffaloCrumble Sat 04-Jul-15 13:12:45

Not unreasonable at all. It's a big responsibility for your DD1 to have to keep an eye on her own Dsis, but another child too, especially one who is not sensible wouldn't be fair on her.

Perhaps you should just not mention the pool thing. You could say they are going elsewhere afterwards if you need to mention it. Let DD1 drop off the friend and they both head off to the pool. If the other mum questions it, then say you are not happy with your DD being responsible but if the teenage DS wants to go and supervise his sister that's fine.

pinkyredrose Sat 04-Jul-15 13:12:48

Why can't the teenage brother tale C?

pinkyredrose Sat 04-Jul-15 13:13:05


popmimiboo Sat 04-Jul-15 13:15:01

Hmm, I don't know. The girl is quite a young 9 year old and very, erm, spirited! I think someone would have to be considered responsible and staff would presume DD1 to be. Also, my DD2 is pretty well behaved when on her own with DD1 but is more likely to get boisterous if she has a friend to egg her on!

Florriesma Sat 04-Jul-15 13:17:33

Yanbu. Your dc aren't free childcare. If your friend wants hers to go then i wouldn't have a problem on the proviso that she is not your dc responsibility, so will be unsupervised.

neddle Sat 04-Jul-15 13:33:07

Drop them all home and then your dds can walk back to the pool on their own.

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