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AIBU?

To think it's wrong that a boy was filming my DD on the bus?

77 replies

Cuddleczar · 03/07/2015 13:26

She noticed he moved seats and had his phone out then realised he was filming her. It turned out he was Skyping someone and filming her to show them. She is a very attractive girl btw. She lost her cool and shouted "What the f* are you doing?" but then had to get off the bus because it was her stop. (I always tell her to try not to lose her temper in these situations, otherwise you're going down to their level, but clearly that doesn't always work.) Can't quite get my head round this--because you can't stop someone holding their phone up and filming covertly but at the same time it's really off for someone to do that. Because she is so attractive, she is always getting harassed by men. But this was a boy who she said looked about 12!!

We were on a train recently and they had British Transport Police on the train giving out a text number that you can text if you have a problem. (That number btw is 61016.) But apparently it's only for trains. Plus there's lots of ads now about more minor harassment you can report on the tube, for example. Any thoughts, anyone, about whether she should report this? He was probably visible on the bus CCTV.

OP posts:

Report

todayisayesterdaystomorrow · 03/07/2015 13:35

Yanbu.
It's ridiculously annoying when someone is filming you, not that I'm beautiful or worthy of filming, but someone started filming themselves in McDonald's yesterday and the queue around them. He was saying "hello hello" loudly to everyone (weirdo) which included me and my dc. I'm not precious, but it's an invasion of privacy imo.
I shamelessly told him to push off which probably add to his amusement.
What can be done though in reality?

PuntasticUsername · 03/07/2015 13:36

Yeah, I'd report him. How many other girls has he filmed like this, and who the fuck is he sending the films to?! I know he's only a kid himself, but still.

And I think her response was pretty good, actually. A loud, clear, well-placed "hey, that thing you're doing? It is NOT ok. Absolutely definitely NOT OK".

Goshthatsspicy · 03/07/2015 14:13

How old is your daughter?

mojo17 · 03/07/2015 14:26

I think it was a very good idea to shout at him to be honest
More women should shame these perpetrators more often in public. Well done your dd

MakeMineABigOne · 03/07/2015 15:35

You said it was skype? Then it's not recorded I believe. I guess it's the new age version of 2 young lads on a bus looking at a beautiful girl pointedly. I'd let it go. Really is it a big deal?

Gruntfuttock · 03/07/2015 15:48

MakeMineABigOne that was just what I thought, that it's just a hi-tech version of a boy on a bus nudging his friend because he'd seen a pretty girl.
No harm done.

lljkk · 03/07/2015 15:52

YABVU, nobody owns your image.

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 15:52

I can't see the issue sorry. If you are in public you can be filmed. I know it can't have been pleasant but I agree with others it is the new version of pointing at someone and telling your mate you fancy them.

Theycallmemellowjello · 03/07/2015 15:58

Yes I'd report. It's not illegal show someone on skype, but that doesn't mean it's not harassment. Just like it's not illegal to talk to someone but doing so in a certain way can be harassment. Depends on the circumstances.

LurkingHusband · 03/07/2015 16:00

If nothing else, it's almost certainly a breach of the bus operators T&Cs

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 16:06

Is it really a breach of bus t & c? I can't see it myself. Also who would you report it to?
The police won't be interested as no law was broken. He didn't pass comments and was not "harassing" her. He didn't follow her off the bus and continue to do it. Yes he filmed her but she could be filmed by the bbc walking through town centre. It is not illegal.

Salmotrutta · 03/07/2015 16:08

Well if the boy was about 12 he probably isn't too aware of what's acceptable but I'm sure after being shouted and sworn at by your daughter he will think twice.

You'd report a silly 12 year old boy?

YUDOTHIS · 03/07/2015 16:10

You/Your dd are nbu to be pissed off but theres nothing you can really do.

TheAwfulDaughter · 03/07/2015 16:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Notasinglefuckwasgiven · 03/07/2015 16:29

My DP split up a fight on a bus and ended up on YouTube so her telling them to stop was correct. If it was Skype it was creepy but sadly hormonal young men and boys do occasionally come over as lecherous . So glad nobody had video phones when I was an awkward goth teen...

LurkingHusband · 03/07/2015 16:31

www.nationalexpress.com/assets/uploads/pdf/Conditions-of-Carriage.pdf

You shall not:
Be abusive or threatening to any staff or any other person
Conduct yourself in a way which may endanger yourself, any coach or station or any person or property on board any coach or
at any station
Obstruct any driver, crew, officer or staff in the performance of their duties or fail to comply with their instructions
Behave in a manner which causes discomfort, inconvenience, damage or injury to other persons
Obstruct or allow any of your luggage to obstruct any aisle or emergency exit
Play any music players, musical instruments or electronic devices, that are audible and distracting or annoying to any person,
or which interfere with, or render less audible, any public address system or other equipment
Take onto any coach, or into any station, any alcoholic drinks or drugs (other than medicines) for the purpose of consuming
them, or consume them on any coach or in any station
Consume on the coach, or bring onto the coach, any hot or strong smelling food. This includes chips, burgers, kebabs etc.
Board any coach whilst under the influence of alcoholic drinks or drugs
Smoke (including substitute smoking materials such as electronic cigarettes) onboard any National Express vehicle or within
any coach or bus station
Board any coach whilst you are seriously ill or suffering from any serious contagious illness

Notasinglefuckwasgiven · 03/07/2015 16:36

I chose my username by most peoples reactions to those conditions being pointed out to them....

Goshthatsspicy · 03/07/2015 16:43

What a palaver.
I hadn't realised the boy was 12.
Anyway, about your daughter being "very attractive"
Would it have made any difference if she'd been plain?
Only you mentioned it twice?
I wouldn't teach my daughter to respond like that, too risky.
Ignoring works wonders, it keeps you safer.

Salmotrutta · 03/07/2015 16:52

"Kicking off" at a 12 year old boy (who probably thought "Oh crap I'm in trouble now) is one thing - not sure how that would go down with an older, more persistent, bloke?

A bloke who might have followed her off the bus or something - maybe unlikely but who knows?

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 16:55

That is for national express totally different than your average local bus company.

Goshthatsspicy · 03/07/2015 16:55

Yes, sal my thoughts also.

Salmotrutta · 03/07/2015 16:57

I wondered about the over-mentioning of the DD's attractiveness too...

BathtimeFunkster · 03/07/2015 17:01

Your daughter was dead right to tell the little creep in the making to fuck off.

Goshthatsspicy · 03/07/2015 17:05

Oh - op where are yooooou?

Goshthatsspicy · 03/07/2015 17:06

"little creep in the making"

Right...

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