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To think it's wrong that a boy was filming my DD on the bus?

(78 Posts)
Cuddleczar Fri 03-Jul-15 13:26:01

She noticed he moved seats and had his phone out then realised he was filming her. It turned out he was Skyping someone and filming her to show them. She is a very attractive girl btw. She lost her cool and shouted "What the f* are you doing?" but then had to get off the bus because it was her stop. (I always tell her to try not to lose her temper in these situations, otherwise you're going down to their level, but clearly that doesn't always work.) Can't quite get my head round this--because you can't stop someone holding their phone up and filming covertly but at the same time it's really off for someone to do that. Because she is so attractive, she is always getting harassed by men. But this was a boy who she said looked about 12!!

We were on a train recently and they had British Transport Police on the train giving out a text number that you can text if you have a problem. (That number btw is 61016.) But apparently it's only for trains. Plus there's lots of ads now about more minor harassment you can report on the tube, for example. Any thoughts, anyone, about whether she should report this? He was probably visible on the bus CCTV.

todayisayesterdaystomorrow Fri 03-Jul-15 13:35:36

It's ridiculously annoying when someone is filming you, not that I'm beautiful or worthy of filming, but someone started filming themselves in McDonald's yesterday and the queue around them. He was saying "hello hello" loudly to everyone (weirdo) which included me and my dc. I'm not precious, but it's an invasion of privacy imo.
I shamelessly told him to push off which probably add to his amusement.
What can be done though in reality?

PuntasticUsername Fri 03-Jul-15 13:36:50

Yeah, I'd report him. How many other girls has he filmed like this, and who the fuck is he sending the films to?! I know he's only a kid himself, but still.

And I think her response was pretty good, actually. A loud, clear, well-placed "hey, that thing you're doing? It is NOT ok. Absolutely definitely NOT OK".

Goshthatsspicy Fri 03-Jul-15 14:13:12

How old is your daughter?

mojo17 Fri 03-Jul-15 14:26:15

I think it was a very good idea to shout at him to be honest
More women should shame these perpetrators more often in public. Well done your dd

MakeMineABigOne Fri 03-Jul-15 15:35:47

You said it was skype? Then it's not recorded I believe. I guess it's the new age version of 2 young lads on a bus looking at a beautiful girl pointedly. I'd let it go. Really is it a big deal?

Gruntfuttock Fri 03-Jul-15 15:48:23

MakeMineABigOne that was just what I thought, that it's just a hi-tech version of a boy on a bus nudging his friend because he'd seen a pretty girl.
No harm done.

lljkk Fri 03-Jul-15 15:52:37

YABVU, nobody owns your image.

Reginafalangie Fri 03-Jul-15 15:52:59

I can't see the issue sorry. If you are in public you can be filmed. I know it can't have been pleasant but I agree with others it is the new version of pointing at someone and telling your mate you fancy them.

Theycallmemellowjello Fri 03-Jul-15 15:58:40

Yes I'd report. It's not illegal show someone on skype, but that doesn't mean it's not harassment. Just like it's not illegal to talk to someone but doing so in a certain way can be harassment. Depends on the circumstances.

LurkingHusband Fri 03-Jul-15 16:00:44

If nothing else, it's almost certainly a breach of the bus operators T&Cs

Reginafalangie Fri 03-Jul-15 16:06:53

Is it really a breach of bus t & c? I can't see it myself. Also who would you report it to?
The police won't be interested as no law was broken. He didn't pass comments and was not "harassing" her. He didn't follow her off the bus and continue to do it. Yes he filmed her but she could be filmed by the bbc walking through town centre. It is not illegal.

Salmotrutta Fri 03-Jul-15 16:08:21

Well if the boy was about 12 he probably isn't too aware of what's acceptable but I'm sure after being shouted and sworn at by your daughter he will think twice.

You'd report a silly 12 year old boy?

YUDOTHIS Fri 03-Jul-15 16:10:22

You/Your dd are nbu to be pissed off but theres nothing you can really do.

TheAwfulDaughter Fri 03-Jul-15 16:14:17

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Notasinglefuckwasgiven Fri 03-Jul-15 16:29:43

My DP split up a fight on a bus and ended up on YouTube blush so her telling them to stop was correct. If it was Skype it was creepy but sadly hormonal young men and boys do occasionally come over as lecherous grin. So glad nobody had video phones when I was an awkward goth teen...

LurkingHusband Fri 03-Jul-15 16:31:57

You shall not:
Be abusive or threatening to any staff or any other person
Conduct yourself in a way which may endanger yourself, any coach or station or any person or property on board any coach or
at any station
Obstruct any driver, crew, officer or staff in the performance of their duties or fail to comply with their instructions
Behave in a manner which causes discomfort, inconvenience, damage or injury to other persons
Obstruct or allow any of your luggage to obstruct any aisle or emergency exit
Play any music players, musical instruments or electronic devices, that are audible and distracting or annoying to any person,
or which interfere with, or render less audible, any public address system or other equipment
Take onto any coach, or into any station, any alcoholic drinks or drugs (other than medicines) for the purpose of consuming
them, or consume them on any coach or in any station
Consume on the coach, or bring onto the coach, any hot or strong smelling food. This includes chips, burgers, kebabs etc.
Board any coach whilst under the influence of alcoholic drinks or drugs
Smoke (including substitute smoking materials such as electronic cigarettes) onboard any National Express vehicle or within
any coach or bus station
Board any coach whilst you are seriously ill or suffering from any serious contagious illness

Notasinglefuckwasgiven Fri 03-Jul-15 16:36:01

I chose my username by most peoples reactions to those conditions being pointed out to them....

Goshthatsspicy Fri 03-Jul-15 16:43:53

What a palaver.
I hadn't realised the boy was 12.
Anyway, about your daughter being "very attractive"
Would it have made any difference if she'd been plain?
Only you mentioned it twice?
I wouldn't teach my daughter to respond like that, too risky.
Ignoring works wonders, it keeps you safer.

Salmotrutta Fri 03-Jul-15 16:52:06

"Kicking off" at a 12 year old boy (who probably thought "Oh crap I'm in trouble now) is one thing - not sure how that would go down with an older, more persistent, bloke?

A bloke who might have followed her off the bus or something - maybe unlikely but who knows?

Reginafalangie Fri 03-Jul-15 16:55:43

That is for national express totally different than your average local bus company.

Goshthatsspicy Fri 03-Jul-15 16:55:52

Yes, sal my thoughts also.

Salmotrutta Fri 03-Jul-15 16:57:44

I wondered about the over-mentioning of the DD's attractiveness too...

BathtimeFunkster Fri 03-Jul-15 17:01:09

Your daughter was dead right to tell the little creep in the making to fuck off.

Goshthatsspicy Fri 03-Jul-15 17:05:44

Oh - op where are yooooou?grin

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