DD1 (aged 23) and I work with the same company, which works out well for us as we can drive up together. A woman I work with (I'll call her C) lives a couple of blocks away from us, and to be kind, I started offering her a lift to work in the mornings, which seems to have become the norm for her -to the level of sulks if we cannot drive her for whatever reason.
DD1 is extremely unhappy in her job, to the point that she has developed anxiety and depression -she has submitted a letter from her psychiatrist recommending a move to a different department within the same organisation, but the wheels seem to be moving VERY slowly.
C is extremely negative and self-centred, every trip is marked by her complaints, doom scenarios and stories about herself -I cannot get a word in edgeways and she DOESN'T stop, for the whole 30 minute journey. This is not helping DD, who is often crying quietly in the front seat out of NOT wanting to go into work, and she suffers from anxiety-induced chest pains in the morning too. C's negativity upsets her more, and while I hate that this is making her pre-work anxiety and sadness worse, I also feel bad withdrawing the lift offer. C also hangs around after work hoping for a lift back, but I would prefer to make the trip home with just DD in the car to gently talk her through her day, calm her down and let her switch off from work quietly. Any time we don't give C a lift, next day we are treated to grumbles about public transport (not very subtle).
We have tried having a CD on but C talks over it, and I will not let DD wear headphones, it's rude. If C didn't talk so constantly or so negatively it wouldn't be such a problem, but it seems petty to withdraw the lift on that basis now that it has become established. At the same time, DD has said that C's negative, self centred monologues "set off more spirals of negative thoughts" for her.
DD getting her own car to avoid C seems like a waste when we're going to the same building anyway, and she is too anxious before work and upset afterwards for me to really consider her a safe driver.
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AIBU?
To want to stop offering lifts on basis of DD's mental health
75 replies
athelophobia · 02/07/2015 20:38
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