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To say something about an email addressed "Dear Ladies"?

(211 Posts)
SilverBirchWithout Wed 01-Jul-15 16:20:26

I've just received an internal email (from someone I have not met) addressed to myself and a colleague. It opens with "Dear Ladies", I personally find the general term "Ladies", unless used in a light-hearted way, quite sexist.

I'm now being really judgy about the person who sent it, I assume they are male, but they have an unusual first name, so it's not clear.

1. Would you be as irritated as I am?
2. Does it make any difference if they are another woman or a man?
3. Would you say anything? If so what?
4. Should I bother to actually respond to their request for info, as it is readily available on the organisation's intranet?

Or am I just hot and grumpy?

I work for enlightened organisation, which amongst other activities, campaigns on improving women's rights in the UK and overseas.

0x530x610x750x630x79 Wed 01-Jul-15 16:23:18

how would you have liked it started?

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 Wed 01-Jul-15 16:23:25

I wouldn't like it, but I wouldn't be too bothered about it. It's a recognised form of address, though oldfashioned and happily little used.
I would do a quick reponse with a link to where the info can be found (a polite feck off and find shit yourself if you like)

FeckTheMagicDragon Wed 01-Jul-15 16:23:40

I keep getting emails addressed to 'Gentlemen' which really boils my piss.

I know I work in a male dominated industry - but FFS, not all your audience is male!

I think I'm going to start addressing replays to 'Ladies' smile

0x530x610x750x630x79 Wed 01-Jul-15 16:24:22

Hey Guys...
Dear Women
you slags (okay I am getting very silly now)

NRomanoff Wed 01-Jul-15 16:24:23

Is one of you not female?

What would you prefer? Dear Females, Dear Women?

Personally I would have used your names if it was only two of you. But I think you are reading to much into this. This person very well may write... Dear gentlemen to men they write emails to.

Don't know why the jump to sexisim

HaleMary Wed 01-Jul-15 16:25:45

1. Yes. It's 2015.
2. No.
3. and 4. Yes, I would begin my reply ''Dear X and Y' is how we prefer to be addressed, and the body of the mail would consist only of a link to the intranet page.

nancy75 Wed 01-Jul-15 16:25:47

So how do you address an email that is aimed at just a group of women?
Dear women is wrong, what else would you put ( genuine question, I often email large groups that are all women)

ShowMeYourTARDIS Wed 01-Jul-15 16:25:55

IMO, the sender was trying to be polite. Just respond as you would to any other email.

It doesn't bother me. My work (small non profit) has all female employees. The boss (also female) will refer to us collectively as ladies.

I'm 22 and very much a feminist, BTW.

SuffolkNWhat Wed 01-Jul-15 16:26:25

Dear colleagues would suffice would it not?

nancy75 Wed 01-Jul-15 16:27:50

No colleagues would not suffice, the people I email are customers not colleagues

LurkingHusband Wed 01-Jul-15 16:29:13

Male perspective ?

1. Would you be as irritated as I am?

Yes. And if it was "Dear gents" the same. It's presumptuous.

2. Does it make any difference if they are another woman or a man?

Nope. Not thinking, is not thinking.

3. Would you say anything? If so what?

Depends on circumstances. There's no telling some people, and I wouldn't bother. However if they seem like they'd benefit from being told, yes.

4. Should I bother to actually respond to their request for info, as it is readily available on the organisation's intranet?

just reply with a link. I mean just reply with a link.

Or am I just hot and grumpy?

No comment grin.

I work for enlightened organisation, which amongst other activities, campaigns on improving women's rights in the UK and overseas.

This is the second time today I've remembered there's a bible quote somewhere about logs in your eyes and splinters in others'.

molyholy Wed 01-Jul-15 16:30:11

You would address it 'dear all'. One of our board members used to do this. He was a mysoginist and was condescending. I sent him an email after one too many 'hello ladies' asking him to address us by our names (there was only 2 of us). I really pissed him off because I was a female who heaven forbid, spoke up for myself. He never did it again though.

SuffolkNWhat Wed 01-Jul-15 16:30:37

I was replying to the OP nancy

LurkingHusband Wed 01-Jul-15 16:31:32

So how do you address an email that is aimed at just a group of women?

why even ask ? Surely gender is irrelevant ? We're not French with Ils and Elles ...

If it's two people, then first names.

More than two, "Dear All" or "Hi All".

ThroughThickAndThin01 Wed 01-Jul-15 16:33:50

1) no
2) no
3) no
4) no

I wouldn't care at all.

EustaciaBenson Wed 01-Jul-15 16:33:59

I'd love dear ladies, it would at least be a change from being constantly referred to as a girl, as in the girl in the office etc. Drives me mad and I'm seriously considering calling the offender boy but I doubt he'd notice, but yes its lazy and sloppy

HappyGirlNow Wed 01-Jul-15 16:36:04

Oh FFS. In what way is the term 'ladies' sexist?! Descriptive perhaps albeit in a way you're not keen on.

I wonder how some people get through life, I really do.

SunnyBaudelaire Wed 01-Jul-15 16:37:41

there are worse things to get upset about you know - like the gender pay gap.

Lateswim16 Wed 01-Jul-15 16:40:08

Hey bitches or hoes, could be worse. Think the heat isn't helping op. wink

LurkingHusband Wed 01-Jul-15 16:40:27

Oh FFS. In what way is the term 'ladies' sexist?!

I don't see it as sexist, if "gents" isn't sexist. However I do see it as presuming that the recipients are all female. Which may - or may not - be true. Especially in situations where the sender hasn't met/doesn't know the recipients.

SilverBirchWithout Wed 01-Jul-15 16:40:57

An interesting spread of opinion. Thanks.

Maybe the use of the term ladies, just reminds me of a grimacing Terry Thomas type of older sexist man.

I certainly have never needed to open an email with Dear Females or Males. In this instance it is 2 people, surely our names could have been used. With a large group I would start with just a Hi or Hello or Dear All, Valued Customers, Supporters etc.

Is it in the same ilk as having a door held open, in that it does depend who is actually saying/doing it and what their intention may be?

SistersofPercy Wed 01-Jul-15 16:41:05

Yo Fuckface has a certain ring to it I feel.

CatOfTheGreenGlades Wed 01-Jul-15 16:41:07

I don't know why people don't like "Ladies" / "Lady". I'm very feminist and I love it. "Women" while OK as a general term, isn't used to address people – "Dear Women" would sound bizarre. (As would "Dear Men".)

To me "Lady" says a woman you respect and are treating respectfully. A lady can be any woman, she could be a woman working behind a counter, senior kick-ass lawyer, a PM or the queen – there's nothing diminishing about it.

If a man is being condescending when he addresses a group of women as "Ladies" – i.e. he clearly thinks there is something less important about them because they are women – I think you can tell, but I don't think the actual word is to blame. Women will often say "ladies" to a group of their friends too.

GGabcd Wed 01-Jul-15 16:41:21

I wish I had the time and energy to get het up on some of the stupid shit people get het up about on Mumsnet.

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