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People you cant get hold of.

(54 Posts)
QuintShhhhhh Wed 01-Jul-15 13:29:50

My husband is one of them. His phone is frequently off or on silent, or because we are with O2 our connectivity is dreadful. He has a smart phone, but he is on no social media, so cant send a snap, or instant message over wifi/3G. He does not check his email on the phone during the day.
I guess I could always phone the receptionist at his office, but I would not do that unless there is an emergency.

And my friend. She keeps forgetting her phone at home, so she does not reply to texts or she does not pick up her phone. Then I get a message saying "sorry forgot my phone at home", so I try to call, and nobody is picking up - most likely on silent and not vibrating.

I am trying to arrange an outing with her, but it is impossible to get hold of her! Same problem when we were arranging our dc joint party recently, just could not get through to her.

What is it with people? How can you just disappear and go NonCommunicado in the middle of discussing what to do?

IAmAShitHotLawyer Wed 01-Jul-15 13:32:46

Well in the olden days we would communicate with our husbands face to face when they came home and either telephone a friends landline or pop round there

PurpleBananaPie Wed 01-Jul-15 13:33:42

My DM is a nightmare. Despite having 2 mobiles and a landline, you can never get hold of her. If her PAYG phone has no credit, she either doesn't take it out with her or leaves it switched off, she doesn't get that we can still ring her if necessary so she should take it/switch it on. When she does take it, its usually buried in her handbag and she doesn't hear it ring anyway! The landline she never places it down properly after using it so anyone that tries to ring afterwards gets the engaged tone.

CrystalHaze Wed 01-Jul-15 13:38:42

Good for them.

I despise the current belief that we all have to be perpetually available to all and sundry. People used to cope with one landline in the house ~ maybe not even that.

Your husband doesn't check his personal email while he's at work? Well done, that man. What is it you need to contact him about while he's at work anyway, other than emergencies?

chockbic Wed 01-Jul-15 13:41:14

Yes DH is harder to get hold of than the Queen. Or dalai lama.

I call it mancaving. Amongst other things wink

QuintShhhhhh Wed 01-Jul-15 13:42:04

Obviously I agree! grin

My grandfather was away for 3 months of the year, on a hunting vessel in the arctic, my grandma could only hope that he came home alive at the end of the trip, every year!

But it is bloody annoying to not get hold of people you want to talk to, this day and age when we are used to carrying phones around!

Lateswim16 Wed 01-Jul-15 13:49:08

Yes yes the good old days blah blah blah.

My dh and I are wrong side of 45 and I wouldn't be impressed if I couldn't get hold of him either.

We don't text all bloody day but I expect him to answer me if I call because if I did it would matter.

Same with my kids. It's rude to not have your phone on and checked at intervals if you have one.

However your friend can do as she chooses. Dh is different.

Summerisle1 Wed 01-Jul-15 13:59:22

I'm a bit ambiguous about this. Only I don't ever contact DH at work in the day and don't expect him to contact me either - emergencies excepted of course. He doesn't spend all day answering his personal email either although he'll check messages. But that said, if nothing needs replying to until later, he'll wait until he's home. For both of us work is a place where you go to work.

However, I also have a friend who is a nightmare to get in touch with and worse, will complain rather sadly if she feels she's been left out of anything. But she's the one who insists on having a PAYG mobile which she then either leaves at home/switches off or buries at the bottom of her bag. She can't hear the ringtone but won't increase the volume of it. Also, she only 'goes online' (her words) every couple of days so takes ages to answer emails. This despite her previously teaching IT so it isn't as if she's scared of technology. So what with all this, if events suddenly come up she misses them.

Tuskerfull Wed 01-Jul-15 14:10:35

It's rude to not have your phone on and checked at intervals if you have one.

No, it isn't. confused

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 Wed 01-Jul-15 14:12:03

People are always giving out to me for not answering my phone, as if I owe everyone complete access at all times! I have a dodgy phone that often I can't hear, but sometimes I just ignore it. If I don't want to talk to people, I don't have to, and I loathe the idea that they have any right to be annoyed with me.
You can email, call the landline, text me, messenger me, FB me, whatever. But piss off complaining that I don't always answer my mobile just because you want to talk at that moment.....

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 Wed 01-Jul-15 14:13:11

It's rude to not have your phone on and checked at intervals if you have one.

It bloody isn't. IT's rude to think you're so important everyone should be available to you when you want them.

Charlesroi Wed 01-Jul-15 14:19:51

I like tech as much as the next (wo)man but I bloody resent other people expecting me to be a slave to it, or being thought 'rude' because I don't stop working so I can take your call and listen to the details of your day/chat about the lovely round of golf you just had (looking at you, Dad). If I don't answer my phone it's because
a) I'm dead
b) I'm ignoring you
c) It's out of battery
d) I'm busy doing something important
A couple of these options are more likely than others.

NRomanoff Wed 01-Jul-15 14:20:22

God just because someone has a phone, for their own use it does not mean they must answer and check their phone. It's ridiculous.

The only time not getting hold of someone annoys me is when mum texts me 'ring me when you can' then doesn't answer either of Her phones because she has gone for a nap.

Mumoftwinsandanother Wed 01-Jul-15 14:22:40

I don't usually post but this is a topic that I feel strongly
about. YABVU. I specifically don't have a mobile (which is very difficult to do in the world we live in) because I am fed up with people thinking they can reach me anytime and I have done something wrong by leaving my phone off.

CrystalHaze Wed 01-Jul-15 14:25:31

It's rude to not have your phone on and checked at intervals if you have one.

Why is it rude?

lardyscouse Wed 01-Jul-15 15:04:18

I annoy people when my phone rings and I don't answer it because I am talking to them.

Them: 'Your 'phone is ringing.'

Me:' I know'

Them: 'Aren't you going to answer it?'.

Me: 'No, I'm busy talking to you'.

derxa Wed 01-Jul-15 15:05:54

I am one of those uncontactable people. I hate talking on mobile phones. I have one in case of emergencies on the road. I have a landline no in the phonebook and an email address. I hate communicating by text. I am always being asked my mobile no. and I say I don't use it. They look at me as if I am a member of a strange tribe which has just been discovered after centuries of cave dwelling.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Wed 01-Jul-15 15:08:06

I'm one of these people. My phone is always on silent, usually because I'm doing something else and it would be rude to answer my phone in the middle of it! I check it periodically and get back to people when I'm not doing something else. I don't expect anyone else to be at my beck and call so why should I be at theirs?
I don't expect DH to get back to me during a working day, as he's busy. However am currently 39 weeks pregnant so at the moment he's remaining contactable.

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes Wed 01-Jul-15 15:14:13

I'm one of those annonying people my reason is that its not attached to my arse.

As for rude not checking it at regular intervals no complete opposite I find it rude when in company or at some event people have got phone out but then I grew up in era where the phone box cost you 10p to make a call

QuintShhhhhh Wed 01-Jul-15 16:23:16

I hardly ever ring my husband, or try to get hold of him in the day, so I did not realize how difficult it is to get hold of him, until this Friday, when I suddenly HAD to get in touch with him.

HamishBamish Wed 01-Jul-15 16:25:09

I hate having to be contactable all the time. Phones, emails, IM, texts, FaceTime, it goes on and on. Sometimes I just want to concentrate on what I'm doing or who I'm with. If it's an emergency then people will leave a message. If not, there's no problem.

DH never answers his mobile at work, but I know I could phone reception in an emergency. The only calls I never ignore are those from nursery or school, as they never call unless there's a problem.

TurnOverTheTv Wed 01-Jul-15 16:27:36

My phone is constantly on silent. I'll get round to ringing people back/texting/emails when I can be arsed grin

DisconcertedAndRetired Wed 01-Jul-15 18:13:22

I think it's rude to phone people, at all.

When you phone someone, you force them to do something you want to do at a time of your choosing. Unless it's urgent, send them an email, that they can deal with, or not, at their own convenience. (Not a text message. Texts are just a crappy version of email for devices that don't have a proper keyboard. Send your message to a device that's convenient to reply from.)

Planesmistakenforstars Wed 01-Jul-15 18:33:24

I have a PAYG phone, not sure why though because I very rarely take it anywhere with me, and never to work. I sometimes go for days without checking texts or emails. I don't see any reason to be contactable all the time. If there's an emergency I would expect someone to call 999, not me.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Wed 01-Jul-15 18:37:56

My IL's try and FaceTime us nearly every night. I find that rude and intrusive. I don't want to be 'on display', I don't want them to see me in my pyjamas at home in the evening when it's my relaxation time. I don't want them to see that I haven't picked up DD's toys yet. They think we're rude for not answering.

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