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I probably am being unreasonable - I need some sharp words to talk me round...

(20 Posts)
FrazzledandfrayedAgain Mon 29-Jun-15 19:58:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wideopenspace Mon 29-Jun-15 20:00:53

He's eating noisily?

Where do you live? I'll kill him for you...

wink

scribblegirl Mon 29-Jun-15 20:03:06

YANBU to feel sad that you missed out on DD's success (go DD!) but YWBU to blame DH when this is an agreement you both made in recognition it was best for your family.

DH taking on more hours, however, is a different matter. How old are the DCs? Would it affect their care or the running of the house? Would it be beneficial to the family for him to do them? If it were I would be having a Serious Conversation about that.

and loud crisp eating is fucking irritating, you have my sympathies

SnowyPiglet Mon 29-Jun-15 20:10:56

I don't think YABU.
I get like that sometimes - we have a similar arrangement I suppose & I miss a fair amount of school/activity stuff, which is really annoying. There is no way we could change as I earn loads more than DH. I like my job (but not ALL the time) & people do assume that because I am a 'career woman' then I should work forever and that pisses me off. I get the feeling that other Mums at school think I am a bit selfish, but this situation just seems to have evolved, and I do get very resentful at times.
Poor you, I'm sorry you feel like this!
And tell DH to SHUT UP!!

throwingpebbles Mon 29-Jun-15 20:17:55

Yanbu, well, you sort of are but it is understandable. It sounds like you need a rethink as to how things are

I felt like this when I worked 4 days a week so I tweaked my hours and now do 3.5 longer days and the balance feels right (for me).

If you feel like that it's time to sit down and make some plans so you can get a better balAnce

FrazzledandfrayedAgain Mon 29-Jun-15 20:18:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrazzledandfrayedAgain Mon 29-Jun-15 20:18:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

throwingpebbles Mon 29-Jun-15 20:19:14

Oh yeah and I am pretty sure unbearably noisy eating is a defence to murder wink

SnowyPiglet Mon 29-Jun-15 20:19:43

Go into another room, quickly!!

throwingpebbles Mon 29-Jun-15 20:19:53

You sound like me when I am really stressed. I mean that in a kind way

FrazzledandfrayedAgain Mon 29-Jun-15 20:20:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missorinoco Mon 29-Jun-15 20:22:35

No no no. Go back and get the maltesers, and then leave the room. With a load door slam.

YApossiblyBVslightlyU but I get where you are coming from.

FrazzledandfrayedAgain Mon 29-Jun-15 20:22:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wideopenspace Mon 29-Jun-15 20:24:54

angry

You know that noisy eating phobia is an actual thing, right?

Wideopenspace Mon 29-Jun-15 20:25:33

Misaphonia.

See. It's a thing.

throwingpebbles Mon 29-Jun-15 20:34:54

Not selfish at all, I think it's about trying to find the right balance for all of you ( finances allowing)

PeterParkerSays Mon 29-Jun-15 20:37:19

I completely get you OP. We have the same arrangement - DH works 3 days, I work FT. As the higher earner I had no choice when it became aparent that we both couldn't drop down to 4 days a week as we'd hoped - my employer turned my request down.

Our arrangement works for us in that the mortgage is paid and DH is around for the school pickup, but I'd kill to be able to go PT. DH says he has no intention of working FT time again as he enjoys having the time at home as well, so when do I get my turn? DS' sports day is next week. He's Yr 1 but it's the 1st one I'll have been to because I was working last year and didn't have enough leave to have the day off. sad

As much as you can look at the situation with your sensible head on, there are still days when you want to rage at the unfairness of it. Have some cake to make up for his bloody crisps.

ChazzerChaser Mon 29-Jun-15 20:38:31

You say it's the best option for you all but it doesn't sound like it if it's making you unhappy. Do you mean best financially? Can you sacrifice a bit of that to make it better in other ways? We don't have much money, I'm in same position as main earner and could bring in more, but we don't want to, would rather have the free time.

FrazzledandfrayedAgain Mon 29-Jun-15 20:56:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chickenfuckingpox Mon 29-Jun-15 21:05:50

sharp words?

knife

spear

javlin

needle

HTH flowers

YANBU about the noisy eating!!

if it helps my parents probably missed everything i ever did at school due to work i cannot personally remember them coming to anything after nursery i really don't remember caring dad worked 12 hour nights mom worked days out of area they had a successful marriage till my dad changed shifts to work days and see the family more then it lasted 18 months or so! grin

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