to want to enjoy my garden without having to have a conversation with our neighbour's kids?(13 Posts)
Our neighbours have six kids. They don't go out much because the crowd control is too much for the parents, I never even see them down the local park which is a stone's throw away. So they play out in the garden a lot, which is fine, and they're pretty bored, which is not so fine. The problem is that as soon as I go in to the garden they hang over / through the fence bombarding me with constant questions. It's driving me insane! It's the usual kids stuff 'miss, miss, miss, why are you doing xyz' etc etc. Ignoring doesn't help much, they're relentless.
We've put a 6ft fence up but, helpfully the neighbours put their swing too close to the fence so now they've broken the fence by kicking it every time they swing up. Which of course pisses me off. The parents said they'd repair the fence, but I haven't seen any action towards it. So now they have a hole in the fence through which they can have their daily entertainment.
At one point I am going to snap and then of course I am the bad guy. I have already snapped a little the other day by saying I didn't want to talk to them , they should go and entertain themselves and that I didn't want to see them in the fence any more. Followed by an 'Out, NOW!'. This worked, so tbh, I may deploy it again. I did get a feeble 'why do you not want to talk to us', but thankfully I didn't give any answer to that.
I don't mind having the occasional conversation but I also just want to enjoy my own garden in some peace and quiet sometimes, I mean it's not as if we have a low fence that stimulates socialising!
Any tips on how to handle this without this turning in to an argument with the neighbours?
Oh, and in case you ask, no, they don't supervise their kids while their in the garden. The ages range from 9 to almost 2 (I think - I lost track after no 4)
Headphones. They don't even have to be attached to anything.
Patch up the fence, and ask the neighbours to move the swing to protect the temporary repairs?
have you tried speaking to the parents? a difficult conversation so I 'd tread carefully.
or would that sour relations?
Do a little bit of chat and then tell them 'I am going over here to sleep/read/chill out now, so I need some peace and quiet. No more questions!' And then the headphones trick.
Next door's two year old grandson does this to me. 'COME HERE! COME HERE! I'M GOING TO SCARE YOU RAAAAAAAAAR!' And I have to pretend to run. I think it's adorable, and will happily play along for 15 minutes. Then I say I need to do some gardening. He'll yell for another few minutes, but soon gets bored with my non-response and goes to make mud pies or play with his ball.
I think if you give a little, and then set firm boundaries, they will start to respect those a bit. They are young, and will respect you as an adult.
Oh god I feel your pain!!! My last house was next to nursery school. I would sit in garden and have kids swinging on other side of fence shouting 'hello lady!' Every time they reached the top and could see over. If I didn't say hello they'd yell louder!
Just say to them 'go away please' politely but firmly
Omg I had this problem in my old house. 'What ya doin?' Repeated about 20x daily. I would also suggest headphones. Ignoring didn't work, plus then they'd try to interact with my dogs. Used to ignore my request not to feed my dogs biscuits, once threw a soiled pair of knickers into my garden
hoping that was the kids We used to call them The Munsters. Weird lot.
Once the fence is fixed can you add some trellis and train some creepers up it? 6 feet is too low, sometimes you just want to wander around the garden and not have to nod and talk to anyone.
I'd fix the fence at my own expense for my sanity's sake
Then nicely ask that the swing be moved back a bit next time you see the parents. Just explain you've had to mend the fence.
Can you afford a brick wall? At least up to kick height.
Good boundaries make good neighbors. Old saying but so true.
I asked them to move the swing, which they did. At that conversation they offered to fix the fence so that's why we didn't fix it ourselves (yet).
We've already fixed the fence once before so that's why I am getting a bit narked off with having to fix that fence AGAIN. We'll end up fixing it ourselves, I know.
Someone else suggested a brick wall and I am totally for it. DH is not convinced. I guess we've just spend £££ on a new frikkin fence and to then spend money again on a brick wall ...
We bought some big mature Leylandii which should again provide a buffer.
I can definitely talk to the parents, it's just that it doesn't really seem to help much. And I do need to tread a bit carefully because they're a bit of an odd lot.
hotfuzzra Did you used to live in my house? ;-)
We've also had lots of toys thrown over the fence, nappies (I kid you not), cans etc. The time when there was a nappy in the garden I went over next door and asked the children to come and tidy up, which, to be fair, they did. That's just not on. I have a toddler of my own and I simply can't have them throwing stuff over the fence!
I had this problem. Them it got worse when I was on mat leave and they started knocking on my door to come and play with the baby. Who was asleep. Then they'd shoutt through my letterbox until I answered so I'd have to get cross at them just to get the message across to stop hassling me. The parents should be overseeing this stuff, it's not fair I agree.
I like the headphones idea. Would "sorry I'd like some peace and quiet now" work?
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