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to end my Rship.

(17 Posts)
VivaLaVino Sun 28-Jun-15 22:45:09

NC for this.
I have been with DH for 5 years. Received an anonymous message today, via much hated Facebook, showing timed and dated pictures of my DH with his Ex, at the time we had started getting close sleeping with eachother.
He said then that he was single. I now realise, I was sleeping with someone who wasn't single and free to do that.
I think if he could do that to her, he could do that to me.
I've been cheated on a lot before, and know how it feels, and seeing that today has messed up my head.
I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts. Thank you

formerbabe Sun 28-Jun-15 22:49:56

If I was otherwise happy in my relationship, then I could get past this. I think many many relationships begin with one or both of the partners having a bit of a cross over with a previous relationship.

PuntasticUsername Sun 28-Jun-15 22:50:04

The first thing that springs to mind is that it's pretty easy to fake the time and date on a photo.

Do you have any other reasons not to trust him?

lunalelle Sun 28-Jun-15 22:56:14

Your DH had no way of knowing that you would still be together 5 years on. And as a pp said, the camera can and does lie these days.

If you've no other reason to mistrust him, then you need to put it behind you. Seems someone is out to cause trouble.

VivaLaVino Sun 28-Jun-15 22:59:27

I am more upset because I have found out that, for a brief time, been 'the other woman'.
Having been cheated on before, I feel ill. I recognise the clothes in the photo, there has been a definite, blatant overlap.

PuntasticUsername Sun 28-Jun-15 23:05:09

Any idea who sent you the photos? Who would want to upset you this way?

OhEmGeee Sun 28-Jun-15 23:18:08

Well I would talk to him about it. I know it's been five years but you were lied to.

Fatmomma99 Sun 28-Jun-15 23:22:03

I don't want my contribution to be coloured by the fact I've just finished reading "the girl on the train", but I would talk to him.

How serious was his previous relationship? I think it would make more of a difference if his ex had a reasonable expectation that they were going to spend their lives together. Also, how messy was the ending and why did it happen? Just because he did this, it doesn't automatically mean he'll do it again. But I have just finished reading the girl on the train....

and I would delete fb from my life. Just because it's healthier.

UglyBugaz Mon 29-Jun-15 00:31:22

Well nobody knows when you started sleeping with eachother so how recent was it? Was it years ago recently? Is she his friend on fb?

Bogeyface Mon 29-Jun-15 01:16:29

My main issue with this is who stands to gain by you knowing?

Someone is shit stirring and I would want to know how and why.

steff13 Mon 29-Jun-15 04:01:38

My biggest concern would be who sent them, actually. If your relationship is otherwise good, and you and he were just starting to get close at the time the photos were taken, I think I could get past that.

Whocansay Mon 29-Jun-15 07:21:41

What are these pictures? If they were having coffee or something, that can be explained away. If they were 'intimate' pictures, that must have come from an ex gf and she is trying cause trouble. I think you should talk to your OH.

I also agree that times and dates can be faked. Take this with a massive pinch of salt. I hope it works out for you OP.

NRomanoff Mon 29-Jun-15 07:31:06

Have you even spoken to him about it yet?

What are they doing in the photos?

How is the relationship in general?

The clothes don't prove there was a definite over lap, most people have clothes for at least a few months?

You say it's dated, the date is time stamped on the photo? How do you know it's genuine?

Who has sent it and what do they gain from it?

buttonmoonboots Mon 29-Jun-15 07:35:12

It could be Photoshopped.

I would talk to him.

NRomanoff Mon 29-Jun-15 07:37:26

And you haven't found out you were the other women, yet.

Someone, 5 years after the event, is trying to convince you that you are. Doesn't make it true.

5 years down the line, people have usual let it go. Very odd for it to appear now

VivaLaVino Mon 29-Jun-15 10:26:06

Thank you to everyone who has replied.
We are going through a lot of problems at the moment anyway, this is just the latest in a bad run of things recently. I have no idea who has sent this, or why, but I've closed my FB account and I'm going to talk to him today.
I just hope with everything else going on, he can put my mind at rest about this.

PuntasticUsername Mon 29-Jun-15 22:36:45

How did it go, Viva?

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