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Emotional maturity - or maybe it's just me!

(2 Posts)
pinkydee Sun 28-Jun-15 21:15:46

So, i had a row with my usually reasonable husband. We have this thing. I hate the lights being turned on when it is still bright outside. He hates sitting in the dark. Mlost of the time we muddle along with this. But last night after 9pm, I asked him to turn the lights on because i couldn't see to do my pedicure. Apparently, this is the worst th9ing in the world as he hasn't spoken to me since. I make him feel like he can't speak about this apparently, whereas, all I asked yesterday was to turn on the lights, and he went into a monumental sulk.

Background. He is not great at reading emotional situations, he loves me, I know he does, but when it comes to being an equal partner he doesn' bother. I organise everything in our lives, and sometimes i find it really draining. When he has a problem with me, he just shuts down as he has done tonight and behaves like a teenager and won't engage. Him loving me sometimes isnt enough, when i need someone to engage on an emotional level, he isn't there. he is great at looking after out 3 year old DD, but what can i do to have an emotional partner too? Am I expecting too much?

Lweji Mon 29-Jun-15 01:17:37

Have you told him all of that?

That type of sulking behaviour could be part of emotional abuse, or just him not realising the effect it has on you and the relationship.
I'd try to reach out, if you haven't, and explain the impact it has. Maybe suggest counselling to find better forms of communicating.
But if he ignores it, belittles you, dismisses you or anything similar, I'd be wondering if I wanted to stay with such a man.

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