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A SAHM walks into a bar...

(34 Posts)
Magalouf Sun 28-Jun-15 20:38:16

And goes to order a round, when one of the guys in the round comes up and says 'I'll get these, I've got a job'.

AIBU to be pissed off! I said it's fine I got it, but he was pretty insistent. I didn't want a scene. He's a friend of DH, who wasn't there at the time.

missymayhemsmum Mon 29-Jun-15 21:50:34

YANBU to be pissed off as a woman paying her way, - but maybe give him the benefit of the doubt for trying to do the right thing? He may have assumed that as a one-wage family cash is tight, or your DH may even have given that impression, and he's trying to be a supportive and generous friend?

U2TheEdge Mon 29-Jun-15 21:51:30

Hang on.

Didn't we have this thread yesterday?

U2TheEdge Mon 29-Jun-15 21:52:05

Must have been a double as the other one had more than one reply.

PHANTOMnamechanger Mon 29-Jun-15 21:53:55

deja vu!

Iliveinalighthousewith2friendl Mon 29-Jun-15 23:01:17

Didn't see the thread yesterday so I can't pass comment.
Without knowing him. I can't know if he was bring patronising or Caring,
Are you offended that he would not let you pay your way. Or because he said being A SAHM is not a job,
That's just his uneducated ignorance. Being a mum with out s break must be the hardest job in the world.

lostoldlogin Tue 30-Jun-15 02:38:40

being a mum is not the hardest job in the world. It is not harder than any of the following

being a soldier
being a surgeon
being coal miner
being a firefighter
being a deep sea fisherman/woman


As we all well know. It really is NOT that hard, I am sorry. Looking after your own children who you love? Not that hard. Really.

lostoldlogin Tue 30-Jun-15 02:39:35

Sorry, and to reply to the original thread, I expect the poor guy was just trying to be decent given that he knows that as a stay at home mother, you are not paid a wage. What an asshole, eh?

fuctifino Tue 30-Jun-15 02:41:26

The original thread was deleted..... op disappeared and it became a troll hunt if I remember correctly.

TheDowagerCuntess Tue 30-Jun-15 03:06:06

I missed the other thread, but the OP doesn't say anything about SAHM-dom being the 'hardest job in the world' so not sure where that rant ^^ came from.


Kytti Tue 30-Jun-15 03:14:21

lostoldlogin Bit extreme?

And as for "Looking after your own children who you love? Not that hard. Really."

Loving them is easy, being a good parent can be very hard. If you think it's a piece of cake you must have a team of nannies on board.

lostoldlogin Tue 30-Jun-15 07:50:23

In fact I am a working single mother. Team of nannies! Ridiculous. The rent was in reply to another poster on the tread who trotted out the "being a mother is the hardest job in the world" claptrap.

morelikeguidelines Tue 30-Jun-15 07:53:37

I thought it would be "a sahm walks into a bar".. .

"and then promptly falls down in a faint to realised she has got away from the house and kids "

MrsGentlyBenevolent Tue 30-Jun-15 08:02:13

I think it was misplaced kindness/joking. I mean, if you are a stay at home parent, it is assumed you have no true income, therefore do not have a job. It's not a bad thing, a bit overbaring to offer to pay on your behalf though. I would have laughed it off, said something like 'I can afford it you know, I do spend money on things other than Baby Yoga and SMA milk wink'.

As for that 'hardest job in the world' nonsense, lost is quite right. It is tough being a parent, but not the 'hardest job', heck - it's hard work but not a job to start with.

Blu Tue 30-Jun-15 08:10:04

Was he celebrating getting a new job?

Dunkyourcustardcream Tue 30-Jun-15 10:20:48

I thought the same as 'morelikeguidelines' - if that was me in that situation I'd think great. No round for me I'll use the money for some nice bubble bath and a McDonald's for the kids. Cheers rich man with proper job. wine

lostoldlogin Tue 30-Jun-15 13:04:18

Yes I agree MrsGentlyBenevolent it is not a job. Woe betide anyone who points that out normally though......

TwerkingSpinster Tue 30-Jun-15 13:11:15

lost, as someone who used to work in a job considered hard by your list, I can tell you bullshit. Being a sahm has been by far and away the hardest thing I've done.

StupidBloodyKindle Tue 30-Jun-15 13:12:41

It might not be the hardest but without backup/support it can be the loneliest.
Coal miner
Deep sea fisherwoman

All these jobs, bar the last one possibly (pending crew or whether you mean the amazing female divers who free dive for pearls) are all team efforts so there is a lot of camaraderie there and breaks

StupidBloodyKindle Tue 30-Jun-15 13:13:53

Ooh, twerking what were you? < nosey emoticon>

SomethingFunny Tue 30-Jun-15 13:16:22

I would have just said thanks?!

MorrisZapp Tue 30-Jun-15 13:21:26

Can we just get to a place where we can accept that 'job' is normal/accepted parlance for 'paid job'?

This man has a paid job, regardless of how easy or hard it is. OP does not currently have a paid job, regardless of how hard or easy her days are.

Fwiw I often buy more than my fair share of drinks because I have a better paid job than some of my friends. It's something I like to do and they're happy to accept, and not turn into some weird judgement thing.

My job is pretty easy, but well paid.

NorahDentressangle Tue 30-Jun-15 13:23:37

I would say it's the hardest job too.
I think it's because you have such emotional investment in the DCs and how they turn out. Also lonely with no immediate reward.

A bit like saying looking after an elderly parent is a dawdle (assuming they are not needing heavy lifting) - no, being a full time carer is draining and hard (we must all have heard of carers' health failing due to the strain) - I think it's the emotional responsibility and the lack of recognition by others, the lack of immediate reward. This results in stress big time.

Magalouf Tue 30-Jun-15 13:31:01

The original thread was deleted..... op disappeared and it became a troll hunt if I remember correctly.shock

Jeepers I'm not a troll! I mean everyone has a first post at some stage!! I replied a few times on the last thread and then let it be. I originally posted twice by accident, hence the reason it has seemingly reappeared.

Must work on my posting techniquewink

QueenBean Tue 30-Jun-15 14:33:00

Being a parent is tough but it isn't a job. Certainly not harder than many actual jobs either.

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