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Am I being selfish and unreasonable

(10 Posts)
karen1961 Sun 28-Jun-15 17:36:28

Many years ago, my husband bought me two very expensive necklaces. Unfortunatly financial hard times hit and we gave them to my mother in law to look after just in case of bankruptcy as I wanted to leave them to my stepdaughter. For years after, my MIL said she didnt have them, but today coughed up by accident that she had given them to my stepdaughter years ago. She denied that my husband had bought them for me, but that isnt the point. The point was that they were mine to be given by me. I feel hurt as I love every piece of jewellery that my husband has bought me and deprived me of their use and also that she lied to me for so many years, telling me often that they were not mine, to the point where I believed her, making me feel guilt for many years and very selfish. My husband only found out today too but says they are only material things and not to worry. Am I being selfish and unreasonable?

chickenfuckingpox Sun 28-Jun-15 17:38:37

who did she think your husband bought them for? her or the stepdaughter?

yanbu by the way x

LaurieFairyCake Sun 28-Jun-15 17:39:02


How the hell could she convince you that your own jewellery wasn't yours

Get them back! Call the police if she won't return them

Wtf is your DH on too?

NRomanoff Sun 28-Jun-15 17:41:33


However when she was given them to look after in the event of you becoming bankrupt, was she told she was only looking after them so they weren't siezed to pay your debts off. Or does she feel they were gifts to her?

Because it sounds like you dh told her they were gifts, which is why he is saying that you should leave it

NRomanoff Sun 28-Jun-15 17:42:49

Also the fact that this has gone on for years is a bit odd. Why has this not been sorted once the financi situation was sorted?

karen1961 Sun 28-Jun-15 18:06:27

she was told that she was looking after them until the finances were sorted. But somehow, I dont know how, the story became twisted and she has always maintained that they were bought for my stepdaughter, even if that was the case, my husband should have given them to her not my MIL, but it isn't they were mine, not wishing to sound like a petulant spoilt brat here

MelanieCheeks Sun 28-Jun-15 18:08:50

Hmm. They ARE only material things, and therefore of little REAL value.

You gave them to her because you wanted them to go to your step daughter...and now they are with your step daughter??? Am I missing something?

NRomanoff Sun 28-Jun-15 18:19:05

Well aside from the possible preparation to defraud. How did the story get twisted? Why was she not put straight the first time she denied they were yours?

You don't seem that upset that you thought she had lost them. Just now you know she gave them away. If she kept claiming she didn't have them, you weren't getting use out of them anyway.

Can't work out why this is an issue now but wasn't for the last few years.

CrystalHaze Sun 28-Jun-15 18:21:37

For years after, my MIL said she didnt have them, but today coughed up by accident that she had given them to my stepdaughter years ago.

So, when she previously said that she didn't have them, how come you didn't challenge her, question her in greater depth, or look into lodging an insurance claim/police report? If two 'very expensive' possessions of mine had gone missing I'd take some action. What was your response in the past when she said she didn't have them? Why has your step-daughter never mentioned to you or your DH being given these necklaces by MIL?

This all sounds extremely bizarre. I'm finding it hard to comprehend a dialogue which goes something like:

'Please can I have my expensive items of jewellery which I gave you for safe-keeping?'
'I haven't got them.'
'Oh, OK then ...'

saoirse31 Sun 28-Jun-15 19:39:06

given that you appear to be suggesting you were hiding assets initially then sauce for the goose etc tbh

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