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to be frustrated

(5 Posts)
spideymum Sun 28-Jun-15 15:26:32

So ex and I broke up 3 months ago him walking out of the house saying I didn't love him. We have a 4 year old child who he has been seeing twice a week and every other weekend.

This weekend was his allocated weekend son was aware his Dad was meant to pick him up. I asked him to pick him up on Friday rather than Saturday because I am sick but he said it wasn't possible. On Saturday he called to say he was doing some work and would be here by 1 then called to say he had to go to another job and would come at 3 or 4. That time passed so I messaged to say I was going to the shops call when he is on his way. He messaged back to say he was trying his hardest to get here to see him today of not he would be around first thing Sunday. He turned up at 12 today.

I feel like he is just taking advantage I had plans to go out last night but because I was ill had cancelled. But I need a break as well I'm in a demanding job and the sum total of my time off this weekend will be 6 hours. I just think his actions are pathetic not to mention he came to my sons new starter meeting with me this week and left for 20 minutes to make a work call. He very rarely contributes financially and I'm getting increasingly peed off.

Lweji Sun 28-Jun-15 15:44:14

First thing is to get his financial contribution agreed in writing, and failing that, go the official route.

As for his cavalier attitude with contact, how about you try that he shows up on time, or not at all? It worked for me.

spideymum Sun 28-Jun-15 17:21:33

We have spoken about financial arrangements he owes quite a large amount of money from when he lived here. He has been trying to pay that off intermittently.

With regards to contact I make formal arrangements with him. He doesn't stick to them and when I try and talk to him he has a massive go at me makes me feel crap about myself all over again almost as if I am at starting point again. I feel as if I am dealing with a child he doesn't like something he is nasty and screams in my face. I'm really ill at the moment and I feel like it is the stress permanent headache behind my eyes felt so depressed on Friday didn't even want to pick my son up from nursery. I know I need to be stronger I just don't seem to have the fight left in me anymore

Lweji Sun 28-Jun-15 17:32:41

You don't have to fight it as such.
And you should seek as much support as possible.

You don't have to see him or be in contact with him if he is abusive. He can arrange for someone else to collect your child from you.
And don't talk to him about it. Stick to the arrangements or he foregoes contact. Uncertainty is not good for the child either.

Have you talked with Women's Aid?

chickenfuckingpox Sun 28-Jun-15 17:47:37

make a firm arrangement with him if he doesnt turn up go out make other plans do not chase him

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