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To wish that it was time for my daughter's friends to go home now?!

(59 Posts)
Kampeki Sat 27-Jun-15 20:41:24

DD is 10, and has two friends over for a sleepover in lieu of a birthday party. They're both lovely girls really, but they're really over-excited and the noise levels are driving me nuts. Plus one of the girls is really high maintenance and a little bit too demanding for my liking...

Also, since when has it been the done thing at sleepovers to just let the kids stay up all night? I'm really relaxed about bedtimes etc, and have no problem letting dd stay up late. I know that they want to have a midnight feast, which is fine, and I get that they won't sleep much. However, I've told them that I do expect them to try to get some sleep later on, as dd struggled for the whole week after the last time she stayed up all night at someone else's house. DD agrees that she would like to get some sleep, but demanding friend thinks I am being utterly unreasonable. Am I?

I used to stay over at friends' houses when I was a kid, and we'd chat and giggle till quite late and then get off to sleep. It's been the same for dd when we've done it before, but the last couple of times, she just hasn't slept at all.

I know some people are saying that iabu to let her have sleepovers at all if I don't want her to stay up, and I respect that point of view, but I don't want to stop her doing the normal childhood stuff. Just don't see why they have to stay awake all night!

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Sat 27-Jun-15 20:45:12

Your house, your rules. Tis the only place where you are Queen. Not BU at all to expect them to go to sleep at some point.

NaiceNickname Sat 27-Jun-15 20:45:41

The clue is in the name IMO, sleepover, so they sleep! You have to think of the others in the house too, if they're shrieking and giggling all night then it's going to keep everyone else awake. I'd probably let them have their midnight feast and then another quiet hour and then ask them to turn lights off and chat in the dark in bed if they want to, they'll eventually sleep. I remember forcing myself to stay awake at sleepovers, I'd actually be willing somebody, anybody to fall asleep first because then everyone else would too grin

Good luck! wine

Kampeki Sat 27-Jun-15 20:53:48

Thanks guys! Really feel in need of that wine but daren't just in case I need to drive someone home or something!

formerbabe Sat 27-Jun-15 20:54:30

Change the clocks! Move them forward by a couple of hours.

I feel your pain...one of my dc had a sleepover with a kid who constantly went on about how he wasn't going to sleep at all...was hell, never again!

Kampeki Sat 27-Jun-15 21:00:43

Haha, that's an idea former!

fellowship33 Sat 27-Jun-15 21:04:18

Last one dd went to involved sleeping at 5am. It destroyed her for the whole weekend. Just not doing group sleepovers anymore - she's 10 and can't hack it.

Start telling them to go to sleep at 11.

Purplepoodle Sat 27-Jun-15 21:04:50

Dvd after midnight feast whilst lying in beds, hopefully they will drop off?

Kampeki Sat 27-Jun-15 21:07:22

I'm not convinced that they will fall asleep watching a DVD - at least, I don't think dd would. They are watching a film now though, which means it's blissfully quiet for a bit, and I've escaped upstairs!

Devora Sat 27-Jun-15 21:09:11

I have a dd nearly the same age, and 11pm is my cut off point for everyone going to sleep. When necessary, I sit on a chair outside the door [grim mum emoticon]

IHaveBrilloHair Sat 27-Jun-15 21:10:53

I let dd have friends sleepover whenever she wants, I have two rules.
1. One friend at a time
2. Don't piss me off.

So far, so good.

As soon as you go above two people it's inviting trouble.

vvega Sat 27-Jun-15 21:11:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5Foot5 Sat 27-Jun-15 21:12:48

Yup. You are in charge. A "midnight" feast does not, should not, take place at midnight at their age. In fact I would be very wary about what they are consuming late at night as it will only lead to tummy aches, tears and feeling sick.

Start to be firm about settling them when it feels right to you. Do you have a spare bedroom? On a couple of sleepovers we ended up having to put some in different rooms to get them all to settle

Kampeki Sat 27-Jun-15 21:17:31

Interesting perspectives. The "leave them in the living room to get on with it" school of thought seems to be quite common round here, but I'm not comfortable with that.

I think the midnight feast will be ok - they won't be eating much, just a few little bits and pieces.

We do have a spare room, and I will keep that up my sleeve if I need to use a threat later!!

Devora Sat 27-Jun-15 21:20:05

It's true, there's always one little monster who looks you in the eye and gives you real cheek. You have to identify that one, get her into bed, and stop her talking. The others will follow.

Mrsjayy Sat 27-Jun-15 21:21:02

Chase them to rooms with midnight feasts armed with dvds and they have to shush

QuintShhhhhh Sat 27-Jun-15 21:22:51

10 year olds using the living room?

No way!

Bed time at 9/10, lights off around 11. If they watch a film quietly on the Ipad after then, thats fine as long as they keep quiet.

lastnightiwenttomanderley Sat 27-Jun-15 21:27:30

Next door had a sleepover last night...5 teenage girls. So they had a genius idea and stuck them in a tent in the garden. That way everyone in the entire street got to be disturbed by their shrieking until gone midnight and then again at eight this morning.

All for sleepovers, but definitely need some ground rules! Good luck OP!

Kampeki Sat 27-Jun-15 21:29:26

Oh dear lastnight, I feel for you! Fortunately neighbours won't be affected by tonight's little adventure!

Mrsjayy Sat 27-Jun-15 21:31:03

I think sleepovers should be confined to bedrooms and lights out at a reasonable time <hard>

Joolsy Sat 27-Jun-15 21:32:58

I'm always very strict when it come to sleepovers, but I've never had more than 1 child stay over, otherwise they do tend to get a bit over-excited. I expect lights out when I go to bed, about 10.30. If they want to chat a bit after that, it's ok, but if they disturb me or anyone else, I won't be happy. I've actually very rarely heard of anyone I know hosting a sleepover where the kids actually don't sleep.So YANBU and don't let her make you feel bad or guilty

Kampeki Sat 27-Jun-15 21:39:23

This thread is making me feel a whole lot better - I was staring to wonder if I might be the meanest mum in the world!

It's the first time I've had more than one at a time. Not sure I'd do it again. It was an attempt at compromise as lots of dd's friends have had big sleepovers with 8+ kids at one time! I knew I couldn't cope with that, but now thinking I can't really cope with two!!

vvega Sat 27-Jun-15 21:45:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kampeki Sat 27-Jun-15 22:17:29

It's one of those things that the mums with the 'high maintenance' dc do, let them run amok downstairs all night then wonder why they have such pains in arses for dc

So true vvega, so true! grin Parents of demanding child are absolutely lovely and I really like them, but I think they are a lot more indulgent than me or DH!

They are very sweet girls really, and dd is doing her best to minimise the stuff that she knows annoys me, but still...roll on 10am indeed!

Kampeki Sat 27-Jun-15 22:18:34

Demanding child is now begging to play on my ipad. I said no!

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