AIBU to think this is because I'm a woman?

(28 Posts)
KateSpade Sat 27-Jun-15 16:08:56

I work in a predominantly male industry, it's a customer facing role - although not a shop.

I have lost count at the amount of people who have shouted, yelled and threatened me this year.

I'm starting to wonder if it's because I'm a woman?

I'm always polite with customers, never speak to them horribly.

What are your thoughts regarding this? Do you think people just see I'm a woman & not have as much respect as if they would if they saw a man?

I'd like to know your thoughts?

EastMidsMummy Sat 27-Jun-15 16:11:52

How can we possibly know? do people shout, yell and threaten your male colleagues?

Sparklingbrook Sat 27-Jun-15 16:14:32

Not necessarily. I used to work in a bank and everyone got shouted at the same, male or female. Some customers like to shout and threaten and be generally horrible.

You shouldn't take it personally.

GinUpGirl Sat 27-Jun-15 16:17:14

Need more context to know, I'm afraid.

FayKorgasm Sat 27-Jun-15 16:17:38

Hard to tell if its because you're a woman or because you are customer facing. I'm finding customers are becoming more rude and more demanding even when they are in the wrong.

FayKorgasm Sat 27-Jun-15 16:18:33

Not all customers*

justmyview Sat 27-Jun-15 16:19:01

What do your (male) colleagues think?

EatDessertFirst Sat 27-Jun-15 16:20:15

I found that as a female working behind a bar, I got much more abuse than my male colleagues. I developed a thick skin (and whispering 'fuck off' to drunks was quite satisfying) and eventually the regulars learnt that I was not easy meat.

I think it depends where you work.

NRomanoff Sat 27-Jun-15 16:21:04

I owned a restaurant. Personally I found women were rude and nasty with female staff. Male staff used to get a lot of shit off men.

Personally, I wouldn't work customer facing again. I have noticed a huge increase in people thinking it's ok to treat staff like shit. Both male and female

GlitzAndGigglesx Sat 27-Jun-15 16:23:15

Tbh the majority of customers act like cunts because they know you won't fly kick them in the head snap back. I used to get loads talking down on me and I figured it was because I looked about 12 and not very frightening. The rude ones help you develop a thick skin though

Mulligrubs Sat 27-Jun-15 16:26:27

I think it's because most people are just cunts and in a customer facing role you tend to encounter more than your average amount of cunts.

KateSpade Sat 27-Jun-15 16:29:19

Sorry I should have said - the male staff do get the occasional kick off - but not as much as me.

Though, theirs one male member who gets it very often, but that's because he does pick fights with them. He brings it on himself if you will.

I've asked my manager & he's unsure, I'm always supported though, but it's hard work getting threatened/shouted at daily!

FayKorgasm Sat 27-Jun-15 16:40:36

Only this morning I was grabbed and threatened by a customer trying to return another shops merchandise to the store I work in. Apparently I am to enjoy the food bank because shes going to complain to my manager.
When a customer becomes agressive just walk away and get the manager to deal with it.

teddybears Sat 27-Jun-15 16:44:03

A huge majority of the general public are downright rude, unreasonable and obnoxious and it's getting worse. I find women are the worst culprits.

In my work place I think men and women get their equal share.

KateSpade Sat 27-Jun-15 16:49:13

Nice name Fay btw, grin

Sometimes it's just me in holding the fort, (why do I still work in this place?) & no manager available for a few days!

I just think they see a (fairly) young, small woman behind the desk & don't feel they should give me any respect or treat me nicely!

No more jobs working with the public!

ASettlerOfCatan Sat 27-Jun-15 16:59:41

Working with the public ALWAYS brings abuse sadly. I am so glad I got out of customer facing jobs years ago. I deal very little with customers these days!

FayKorgasm Sat 27-Jun-15 17:04:59

Thank you Kate. I think its time to look around for another job,anyone who looks vulnerable is targeted by bullies and if you are there on your own its not good.

Gabilan Sat 27-Jun-15 17:16:21

It might be although sometimes customers are more polite to women in a weird chivalrous way. Could also be because you're young. Depends on what they're getting shirty about. IME I get talked down to and it's assumed that I won't know what I'm talking about because I'm a woman. I just get a bit "well do you want to discuss the ontological status of the electron or not? Well, do you?" Or the middle third rule, or osmosis, or whatever else I think will really piss them off because they don't expect a woman to know stuff and feel insecure when she does.

SquinkiesRule Sat 27-Jun-15 17:23:03

I used to get all kinds of crap when I worked in a children's dept of a big shop. you'd think they'd be nicer with kids about
One bad one was a family trying to get cash back by returning anything and everything they had with them (even took the blanket off the baby), all got very shouty from their side and me telling them that isn't from here, thats such and such brand, it went on and on. Turned out all the security office were watching on camera and could hear everything. They were threatening with me losing my job etc. All you can do it become more hard, and hope the management back you up. I hate front facing jobs.

pressone Sat 27-Jun-15 18:13:04

I have worked in a number of customer facing roles at various levels and find that people kick off at those they perceive to be vulnerable. The threat can be at either gender although the type of attack is different. Women who are abused verbally and men physically.

Staff who stick to their training (tactical talk down initially) usually defuse the situation, those who react aggressively, verbally or physically provoke the situation and inflame it.

I find the gender of the staff matters less than the ability to de-flame the situation.

Notasinglefuckwasgiven Sat 27-Jun-15 18:21:30

I work in an almost totally male job. I get the same as them ( high risk job for assault )
I've been threatened with a big bowie knife, verbally abused, threatened with rape and violence, had a concrete bollard thrown at me ( I was very lucky with escaping serious injury that time ) and been shot at twice inside a month. Male colleagues have had similar or worse. 3 stabbed, one in the butt cheek as it goes. Another was left with a broken shoulder during an assault. I could go on. In my experience people can be tantrum throwing fuckwits to either gendersad

Garlick Sat 27-Jun-15 18:27:58

Nota shock Hope you're all well-paid, with great insurance!

Mypubesarestraight Sat 27-Jun-15 18:32:37

I work in a shop and customers treat me like crap.

One day I had one screaming in my face so I told him to fuck off. I didn't even get a warning.

Notasinglefuckwasgiven Sat 27-Jun-15 18:38:13

Yes we are ok paid. It has improved over the years. I now carry a dna test sample kit for spitters and we've had several convicted with these. We get 1500 pounds every time we are assaulted and counselling but I've never taken it so can't say how good it is.

ahbollocks Sat 27-Jun-15 18:48:14

I feel your pain!
One thing I would check ypu arent doing is interupting when they start kicking off. Let them finish.
Alot of the time I've found people want to have their crazy rant, theyve probably gone over and over it on their way to see you and have built themselves up to it so best just to let them bang on until they run out of steam and only then attempt to help them with their issue.

Having said that, some people are just sad little cunts

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