Am I over sensitive(5 Posts)
(I have High functioning autism so often get social situations confused) My family are close and spend a lot of time together, however there is one aunt that I have I cannot stand, she is rude to me constantly (she's almost 70) at one time saying that I look like a transvestite when I was 15, telling me that I look like a beach ball and need to go on a diet and telling me when I was seven that there was no such thing as Santa (stupid yes but it hurt) we went on a long drive with my parents and because I was sitting in the front where she should be (I have a spinal condition that means I need chairs to be a certain degee) so she kicked the back of the chair for almost three hours as we drove, she interrupts me whenever I speak, drops rubbish on the floor so I have to pick it up, spills things and walks away, takes food from people's plates including toddlers, she lies across me whenever I'm near her because she knows I hate it, she talks with her mouth full and eats with her mouth open then shouts at the kids for doing the same, I try to be nice to her but she's constantly rude to me and claims I'm not autistic just awkward and a good slap would set me straight, she's fine with my siblings and cousins apart from my 8 year old cousin who also has high functioning autism, it wouldn't bother me so much but my family pander to her and allow her to do this because this is just how she is and I'm taking things personally but if she's only doing this to me then it's obviously a problem she has with me, I would love to go no contact but because of where I live and other family this is impossible, can anyone suggest anything.
Just ignore her. Rise above it and ignore.
You can't change her. You can't change yourself. The only suggestion is to change how you feel about her and deal with her.
Yes she may be a massive pain in the ass - or back if she is kicking your chair. Try "calling her out" each time she annoys you, by daying " ow did you just bump my chair? Please don't do that it hurts me". " oh you are lying on me I don't like it, please get off" but KEEP saying it. Again and again and again. Every single time. Sothat the other adults know that it is upsetting you and get as annoyed by you saying it as you get from her doing it. The other adults might intervene. She might get the message to stop doing this. Or she might get bored of your repetition.
She sounds bloody awful! Just because your parents pander to her doesn't mean you have too, she's clearly of the type that believe autism is not real, hence the "good slap" comment. Personally I would pull her up on her comments, but do it ever so nicely "oh my, did you really mean to be quite so rude Aunty --shit for brains--".
Also she may not be doing this to you. You say she talks with food in her mouth, but shouts at kids who do this. She sounds like a difficult person, for whatever reason. I don't think she does it only to you. She does it to people she can pick on. Make picking on you less attractive by making her uncomfortable by saying " don't do that. I asked you not to do that. why are you doing that after I asked you to stop doing that".
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