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To think this is bloody rude?

(45 Posts)
WhatsTheT Fri 26-Jun-15 20:57:18

OH's mother does this all the time, but today I'm in a particularly bad mood, so other half obviously thinks I'm being "moody" and being annoyed over nothing.

His mother comes over today, and she's had a couple of health problems (Which she knows I've had in the past), so she tells me all about it and the problems she is having, she finishes speaking and I start talking, responding to her issues and telling her what I experienced, and she just starts talking to my 7mo daughter while I'm talking, full volume. Daughter was just sitting not doing much at all, not like she interrupted us with a squeal or a giggle.

I think "I'll carry on talking, she'll eventually look" nope... she carries on talking to the baby, so I stop mid sentence, and she says not one word back.

This is rude isn't it?

She sees DD all the time so it isn't as if it's an exciting visit. And even if it was you don't allow someone to listen to everything you have to say, then blank them when they start talking and start talking over them.

Really can't stand rude people.

OH obviously thinks I'm just being "moody" (he also lacks in conversational manners, wonder where he gets it from??)

hiddenhome Fri 26-Jun-15 21:03:51

She's very rude.

Try doing it back to her.

WhatsTheT Fri 26-Jun-15 21:07:14

I plan to smile

She's known for pulling a strop in front of people and walking off and taking her mood out on everyone else. So I'd probably get told off for it lol.

CrapBag Fri 26-Jun-15 21:07:30

I know someone who does this to me all the time. It really really fucks me off. I've actually been avoiding her because of it and one day I'm afraid I may blow. Once I did just stop talking mid sentence then after a little while she turned back around and said "oh yeah, you were saying x" and I refused point blank to carry on. The looks between others told me they thought IWBU but I don't think I was. I was hoping it was a hint to her to stop fucking doing it but no such luck.

You have my greatest sympathy OP. At least I can avoid this person a lot.

crustsaway Fri 26-Jun-15 21:08:26

Yes, of course it' rude. Sounds like she doesnt value your opinion. I'd also do it back to her or start talking about something else totally irrelevant to what she's saying grin Repeat when necessary.

hiddenhome Fri 26-Jun-15 21:20:37

Check if she's listening.

"Well, actually, I'm planning on leaving your son because I'm gay and I need to go out and discover my sexuality" grin


"Don't tell him, but I actually don't think dd is his" shock

pasbeaucoupdegendarme Fri 26-Jun-15 21:23:20

My mil talks over me too which I find monumentally rude.

I feel slightly better about it having listened to dh and mil on the telephone the other night and realising he never finishes a sentence either, so it's not just me.

TidyDancer Fri 26-Jun-15 21:29:23

Oh man I work with someone just like this. If the conversation isn't involving something she's done then she pays little attention, sometimes not even bothering to pretend otherwise. We have to listen at great length to her stories though, sometimes multiple times over. It's a joy.

WhatsTheT Fri 26-Jun-15 22:53:29

Glad (and feel bad for you) that other people are in the same boat.

My OH interrupts a lot, especially if I'm telling someone something else, he just starts ranting on. Constantly interrupts me mid sentence.

His mum does the same so it's clear where he gets it from. His dad is very attentive.

My other half said I "Just don't know how to have a conversation" hmmm!

rollonthesummer Fri 26-Jun-15 22:57:32

Unless she's slightly deaf, then that's just rude.

OwlinaTree Fri 26-Jun-15 22:58:21

My dh does this, starts talking to the baby when I'm talking to him. Says I'm listening, I'm listening if I stop talking. I think it's rude too.

WhatsTheT Fri 26-Jun-15 23:27:09

Not slightly deaf no, even of she was I'm not a quiet person smile

CalleighDoodle Fri 26-Jun-15 23:36:11

Im going a different way. She has been having health problems, and was talking about them. You responded by talking about yourself. Thats rude. You should have responded by asking how she was coping, if she was getting everything she needed, how she feels about it all, what might help her etc. if she didnt ask for your advice, dont give it.

WhatsTheT Fri 26-Jun-15 23:47:41

Im going a different way. She has been having health problems, and was talking about them. You responded by talking about yourself. Thats rude. You should have responded by asking how she was coping, if she was getting everything she needed, how she feels about it all, what might help her etc. if she didnt ask for your advice, dont give it

She rang me a few times the week before to discuss her situation, ask what would happen re procedure....etc

Let me make it clear the health problems are NOT serious or life threatening, but uncomfortable, painful and annoying short term.

I had already asked her how she felt, that's where the conversation came from. I am not going into the conversation, but she basically said what had happened and that she didn't know why x and x happened during...etc so I said, "oh the same thing happened to me, did they do x and x....etc ?" I was commenting on the things she had brought up.

I did ask her all those things you mentioned. She NEVER asked those questions to me about the same situation. (And I was dealing with a newborn at the time it happened to me) and her reaction was "oh" and never ever asked how I was.

As you didn't know the ins and outs of the conversation, you can't really accuse me of acting "mememe" wasn't the case.

It's just common courtesy.

WhitePhantom Fri 26-Jun-15 23:52:37

Calleigh, it sounded to me like the OP was empathising and sharing her experience of the same issues, not doing any me me me!

CamelHump Fri 26-Jun-15 23:55:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SumThucker Sat 27-Jun-15 01:15:05

Rude. It would piss me right off.

ScrambledEggAndToast Sat 27-Jun-15 08:25:28

Oh I hate that OP, YADNBU. You just want to say to the offender 'did you hear what I just said' angryangry When I'm in a conversation with someone, even if they have said the most boring thing in the whole world, I will make some sort of acknowledgement. Could be a 'hmm' a nod, anything!!

hedgehogsdontbite Sat 27-Jun-15 08:41:37

I agree with Calleigh.

diddl Sat 27-Jun-15 08:53:33

Sounds rude to me!

Next time, pick up your daughter & walk out!

Hope you call your OH up on it when he interrupts you!

Hoppinggreen Sat 27-Jun-15 09:19:24

Not knowing the background my initial thought was the same as calleigh

RattleAndRoll Sat 27-Jun-15 09:24:11

Oh this gives me the rage.
They can concentrate if they're rabbiting on about themselves but as soon as you reply they ignore you, natter to the DC and don't reply. So rude, self centred and annoying.

CocktailQueen Sat 27-Jun-15 09:27:45

Are to call. Either she was being rude, or she was pissed off that she'd been telling you about her problem, and you responded by talking about you! In this case it sounds justified, but it can be annoying. Depending if she was looking for sympathy or answers, I think. But if she has form for doing this then yanbu. Probably.

CocktailQueen Sat 27-Jun-15 09:28:08

hard to call

Charley50 Sat 27-Jun-15 09:29:01

My brother does this. A 'conversation' with him can be more like listening to a monologue. I've pulled him up on it once (diplomatically) and he got really upset and offended and denied he did it.

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