Talk

Advanced search

To feel a bit lost and not know what to do for the best

(4 Posts)
dumboearwax Fri 26-Jun-15 18:34:21

Am going round and round in circles and it's driving me bonkers. DH works in city. Not likely to move job any time soon. So we are tied to living in or around London. My parents are getting older and not quite decrepit but getting that way. They decamped from Kent to Suffolk. They need to move again now as they are in middle of (lovely) nowhere in an old cottage with poor heating. They don't have much dollar but need (want?) detached period with garage so are thinking of heading far away to get this. I want them to have a nice place and do what they want but I also feel so sad I won't be near to them. I'Ve tried every possible combination of places we could live and they could and best case scenario is 1.5 hour drive. I also hate where we live but just don't know where else would be better (schools to think about now too) given I'm trying to factor in too many things. I don't really know what response I want, I just feel lost and not at home and worried about my parents being far away. I suppose it would be good to know if anyone else has elderly parents far away and how they manage to stay in touch and visit often. We want to move again as hate where we are but what's the point if still far away from family :-(

geezpeace Fri 26-Jun-15 21:57:48

I hear you. It would be such a comfort to know they are just around the corner and ad they are getting older know that you can be there for them too if something were to happen. but 1.5 hrs away...could you make that work by seeing them ever a fortnight for example? my db is in this situation too, he and his wife (and two kids) go every fortnight for a full day or sometimes overnight so that quality time is still possible. and they will take their turn to travel also perhaps if db and sister in law need a child free wkend. although not perfect, could something like that work?

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 26-Jun-15 22:07:04

Your parents are grown up and if they wanted to compromise to be near you, they would. They have decided that they want a detached, period house more than they want to be near you. Not your decision, it's theirs to make. If they get ill, or age a lot in the next few years, there are more decisions to be made.

My parents (in their 70s) are 5000 miles away. We Skype, call and visit. We moved and they decided not to follow. It's sad but it's the best choice for everyone.

MrsHenryMountbattenWindsor Fri 26-Jun-15 22:32:12

I've got the perfect solution!

Wisbech is ridiculously cheap for your DPs.

Cambridge isn't far and it's a good train commute in to London, so anywhere that way would be good for you.

Job done! smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now