To be bored senseless by my friends constant baby boring/boasting?(54 Posts)
Please tell me I'm not the only one secretly bored to tears by my friends incessant baby boring/boasting?
We have been friends for about five years. We used to get on very well - we still do, I guess to a point. She's a very sweet, good natured woman, I don't dislike her, I'm just starting to dread the thought of seeing her due to her current obsession with her child.
We both have toddler daughters of similar ages, mine is a bit older. Now I know we are all probably in some way baby bores to our friends, I probably am to some extent in that I do talk about my child IF people ask me about her. I'm proud of her and think she's brilliant, but I actually make a point of steering the conversation towards other things like world events or funny things I've overheard, life plans or a bit of work gossip - whatever it is to make me feel like there's more to my life than my offspring. That seems reasons reasonable to me.
Not if you are my friend. From the moment we meet to the moment I leave she just witters on non-stop about her child.
The most banal, pointless crap you've ever heard from an in-depth analysis of her sleep patterns, a blow by blow account of her eating habits to an eye wateringly detailed description of the contents of her latest nappy. Colour, size, and smell. If I try to divert the conversation away onto something else she will almost immediately interrupt me to point out something incredibly 'important' that Abby is now doing. "Oh look Abby is looking at that flower! Look! She's picked the flower! Look! She's just dropped the flower! Now she's found another flower!!"
She also always tries to constantly imply that her daughter is massively advanced in all ways. She's not, she's normal. This particular boasting bugs the shit out of me.
Any advice? I am not about to ditch my friend, we are part of a close circle of friends, I'm just getting to my wits end with her as I know she's better than this really. I'd love us to go back to the good old days where we would laugh and talk about normal and fun things and for her to regain her sense of self. She isn't depressed, I'm not being horrible to someone who is having a hard time. She isn't. She has a wonderfully supportive boyfriend, a big close family and an interesting part time job.
Anyone else in this position?
You're not being unreasonable at all, but let me tell you now; she won't change... They never do.
If you're not going to ditch her, can you just tazer her every time she starts?
I think I would...
Yanbu, she sounds really annoying and boring. Think the only thing you can do is meet her without the baby or keep a little distance. Can't see any other way going down too well.
we went to a friends for drinks and snacks. There was one other couple there that DH and our friends knew from years back, I had never met them. The mum of this couple talked all evening, about her DD and her DDs hobby. Never once did she ask anything about me/us/our family. Her DH didn't say more than about 4 words all night! I found it boring and her incredibly rude. DH just said she always was like that, only ever talked about herself, never let anyone else get a word in. Not only that but when DH and I were helping put food out and doing washing up etc, she just sat there like a queen being waited on!
some people, eh?
I wouldn't respond. Gaze off into the middle-distance, don't acknowledge what she's said at all.
When she stops talking, talk about something completely unrelated, show that you weren't listening.
Dull dull dull
When I meet up with my friends we do pleasantries re dc for about 2 mins then talk about the interesting stuff.
Was she interesting prior to having dc?
You can avoid her OR relentlessly change subject once she's done an initial boast. Usually people like this have no life outside kids but you say she works? Ask her about that. Ask opinions on current events. Justkeep pushing alternatives.
Maybe you're the only friend she has with similar aged progeny?
How about saying saying something like "I feel like all I do is talk about DD these days, I'm starting to bore myself (not true but politer than saying your friend is boring you) let's make a pact to try to talk about things other than our children when we see each other from now on because we're more than just mums."
It might not work, but it could make her think twice about going on about her DD.
I'm in a similar situation. Our dc are now 3 and recently I tried to tell her about my new job. I was really excited but she wasn't interested and didn't react so I'm not even sure she was listening. She just turn the conversation back to dc. She's an intelligent woman with a degree but I've come to realise that she's lovely but a mummy friend. Evenings out involve lots of story's about dc.I get so bored.
I sympathise OP. I have a friend who, from the second we see each other, launches into a blow by blow account of what her DD has done since I last saw them. How she slept, what she's eaten, what she played with, meltdowns she's had and an in depth psychoanalysis of why she had them (because she's a bloody TODDLER?!)
I'm so done with it I'm struggling to keep even a passive expression on my face. I fear I'm getting rather snappy these days. Sigh.
BIL and his wife are like this. They were a bit dull before the wonder child was born but now it's just awful.
The constant commentary on DN, "look at her dress, it's Monsoon, she looks gorgeous in blue doesn't she, tell Auntie notso where your dress is from M.o.n.sooooon, look at her playing with that hairbrush she loves having her hair done tell Auntie notso you like your hair done" and on it goes.
DH and I race each other to make the tea.
People who never stop going on about kids are dull as dishwater. It's like no one else has ever had one.
It gets no better as the child gets older. 'Of course, he's brilliant at guitar, all his friends - he has loads of friends - just sit and listen to him play. I never have to remind him to practice. He's ever so good at his homework too. He's brilliant at science, I think he might go into astrophysics, his teachers are just thrilled with him.'
That particular loop tape finally stopped when the Wunderkind slacked off for his A levels and his mother used the word 'lazy' of him. I was too stunned to speak...
Constant baby chat is boring... ds is 6 months old, and whilst I am head over heels on love with him and think every little thing he does is amazing, I am aware that the rest of the world does not sure my enthusiasm. I try to only talk about him when I'm asked directly. Unfortunately, I have a colleague who does not realise the rest of the world is not as enthralled with his offspring as he is.... it's so boring. He was such an interesting guy before his daughters were born and I always enjoyed chatting to him. I am determined not to turn into him.
I think there is hope though - I had a friend who realised everyone was tuning out, then one day she actually apologised to us - we were all out for dinner - and now I actually have to ask after her daughter because she won't say a word! I do wonder if someone took her to one side and had a word?
Nightmare. Think ditch to be honest as why spend your leisure time with a bore.
I would probably have to tell her though something like 'look you may not realise it but all you talk about is your dd. you really need to stop as it's alienating and boring the shit out of everyone, including me'
Maybe not tactful but telling her straight.
My guess is though she will tell you that your jealous of her wonder dd and ditch you.
The sad thing is parental bores like this puts you off a kid and you dislike them.
Also detest parents who allow their kids to interrupt them and you and instead of correcting them and telling them to wait a moment they immediately ignore you and engage the brat.
Why the fuck would you do that?
Oh, this, so much! Also detest parents who allow their kids to interrupt them and you and instead of correcting them and telling them to wait a moment they immediately ignore you and engage the brat.
I have a friend like this. She was later to have her dc than most of our friendship group so our children are all older. I was really careful when ds was small not to bore on about him and rarely took him with me when we met (in fact she went two years without seeing him). But now she has a baby it's like the messiah has arrived. If she doesn't have him with her she shows me photos or videos of him (latest update eating with a spoon) and goes on about how forward he is. It does pain me quite a lot. I'm hoping she'll stop.
You can stop it, just say, oh well, aren't toddlers all the same? Mine did exactly that flower thing... And greet every 'big' news about eating or sleeping habits with oh they ALL do that. Because really, most toddlers are quite similar. Then you might be able to talk about other stuff.
I have this friend too. Unfortunately several of them. I just smile and nod my head, I'm already getting comments about how academically advanced her DS is that he'll get a scholarship..... he's just turned 2, FFS.
I try not to bore people with baby talk - to mum friends I do talk about DS, nothing blow by blow though. To non mum friends, I make a point of saying no baby talk. One of my friends forgot his name, and I was like meh, friends with me not my child.
Proud grandmother friends r even worse. My friend's granddaughter, "Rose" is the most advanced, beautiful, amazing child on the planet don't u know?
I ignore the million photos on facebook n, when face to face, always steer the conversation towards anything but this child but I still come away from every meet up feeling completely Rose'd out!
It is sad, friend is a darling but I can't find it in me to be overly bothered about Rose because I'm so overloaded with her!
I was so worried I'd be a baby bore because I'm the only one out of all my close friends to have a child. Luckily I didnt, because as much as I think she is the greatest child ever!!! I'm pretty sure people just see her as another normal child.
Also with the interrupt thing, I instantly shush my child if she interrupts in conversations, because its rude. I know she doesnt mean to be rude and she will wait.
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