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Genuinely, I really don't know AIBU - group hols

(70 Posts)
Gazebogirl Fri 26-Jun-15 16:20:52

Briefly, as I'm hard of thinking today:

10 of us (all women friends) are going away for the weekend. The accommodation is split into two houses, each with 2 x twin rooms and one double, so there's actually room for 12.

I'm organising it and it's a bit of a PITA tbh as monies come in drips and drops, but anyway we're getting there.

The total cost is for both houses for the entire weekend. Now two more women are interested in coming, but only for one night.

AIBU to say ok but you pay the same as everyone else? If we'd all decided to only go for one night we couldn't have gone. And there's much talk of kitties, group cooking, the shopping we will take etc, so two extras just seems to complicate things.

Id had my eye on one of the doubles seeing as I booked it, and if they come, I'll have to share for one night, just to accommodate them.

But then on the other hand there are technically spaces and it reduced everyone's outlay a little bit if they come. But how much should they pay???

AIBU to say pay the same as everyone else regardless of how long you stay? genuinrly can't decide!

PHANTOMnamechanger Fri 26-Jun-15 16:28:30

It depends on whether the extra women are the type who will think it's not fair/cant afford the going rate of splitting it equally, or can manage to afford it easily. Have you been out togetehr for a meal - do they split the bill equally or spend ages working it out to the last penny?

if you want to be really fair, you simply add up the total number of nights that will be spent, and divide the total cost into portions based on number of nights for each person, so the ones staying the one night pay less than the ones the the whole w/end

and finally......rather you than me!! do post back about the endless rows about rotas, who ate more food, bathroom hogging, snoring room mates etc etc!

PHANTOMnamechanger Fri 26-Jun-15 16:29:44

Personally I would split the accommodation costs equally, but I dont think they should pay the same into the food kitty though.

MakeItRain Fri 26-Jun-15 16:30:28

Personally I would just ask for half of what everyone else is paying.

I would treat them together as one extra "2 night" person and divide the cost between you all, with them paying half the cost of everyone staying for two nights.

As for kitties, just do separate kitties for each day.

BackforGood Fri 26-Jun-15 16:33:45

I'd be inclined to split it pro rata tbh .....Total cost, divided by 22 nights, and everyone pays for 2 nights if that's what they are staying and 1 night if that's what they are staying.
It does depend what you are doing for food kitty though.
Personally, if I@d already sorted all that, I think it would be simpler not to charge for food but to ask them to bring a decent bottle of wine each - should cover about the same?

Gazebogirl Fri 26-Jun-15 16:35:16

Thanks for replying!

Re bill-splitting, even though they are all lovely I strongly suspect that there are a couple of "I didn't have the bread roll" types going. We don't know each other that well.

That's a v good point re dividing up by the nights stayed. And there's no way that can happen without it all going tits up because I think there are a couple who have booked for the weekend because that's all that was on offer, but will go for less nights if it meant reducing the bill a bit, and that means everyone else has to subsidise.

And the economic circumstances of the group vary wildly from well heeled SAHMs to v young accounting every penny women.

Ugh. Complex!

DragonWithAGirlTattoo Fri 26-Jun-15 16:38:48

No, split accom equally - otherwise other people might start changing their minds or think, "oh well, i can just do one day"

you could be nice and do the food kitty daily or half from them, but will they be arriving and leaving at the same time each day? ie if they arrive on day one at lunchtime and then stay to lunch the next day, then they are eating more than just one days kitty (does that make sense?)
in that case you need to have an idea how much each 'meal'/'snacks' will cost and go from there?

DragonWithAGirlTattoo Fri 26-Jun-15 16:39:58

"a" decent bottle of wine? - between 6 (theres 2 extra for to make 12)

no - they come, then they contribute fully

haveabreakhaveakitkat Fri 26-Jun-15 16:46:49

Organising 12 women. Rather you than me! shock

Don't forget your referee whistle.

Gazebogirl Fri 26-Jun-15 16:51:45

Dragon, exactly. Every time someone pulls out everyone's net cost goes up. And no one else had the option of one night.

LMAO at a decent bottle of wine - a case, and you're closer! wink

Theimpossiblegirl Fri 26-Jun-15 16:52:17

If the accommodation costs have already been split, charge the newbies for the equivalent of 1 night each and put the money into the drinks pot.

For food and drink, I'd suggest that everyone just puts a set amount into a kitty and when it's gone, all top it up equally. It's the only fair way.

Gazebogirl Fri 26-Jun-15 16:53:16

Ah I see, you were saying instead of food rather than as payment for accom. Fairer.

Gazebogirl Fri 26-Jun-15 16:55:09

Theimpossiblegirl what if others start saying they only want one night? And the extra two means two full-payers have to share when they otherwise wouldn't.
Maybe AIBU. It's such a bloody headache to sort!

Theimpossiblegirl Fri 26-Jun-15 16:59:49

Good point about people changing their minds. What a headache. You need someone on side to help you organise and to back you up if people start moaning.

petalunicorn Fri 26-Jun-15 17:17:59

I'd charge them the same as everyone else for accommodation but less for food. No fair on others who would have taken that option otherwise.

lougle Fri 26-Jun-15 17:22:22

Nope. The cost is x/10 now. If they want to come for one night the cost goes down to x/11 or x/12. Irrelevant whether they are staying one night or two. Unless they find a person to 'job share' the other night.

BackforGood Fri 26-Jun-15 17:42:28

Why are you organising this for so many people if they are going to start being petty though?
Either, they wanted to come away, at the "advertised" price of £x for the accommodation and £y for the food, or they didn't. If you think that by adding 2 latecomers to the mix, everybody will be happy (esp. whoever ends up sharing a double bed hmm) because they end up with a couple of quid refund, then late the latecomers come. If the 10 already going would prefer to stick to what they've agreed, then do that.
If people are going to be petty about getting £z back or £s back, then just leave it as original booking - it's not worth the hassle.

Hassled Fri 26-Jun-15 17:49:13

I have no meaningful advice but you're a braver woman than I'd ever be. Organising 12+ women for a weekend away - there will be tears before bedtime. As long as they're not yours, though!

mrsm43s Fri 26-Jun-15 17:51:19

Re the non-sharers having to share now for one night, they are still getting a better deal than everyone else who is having to share for both nights! So they don't really have anything to complain about, unless, of course, they've paid a double share to have a non-shared room. If that the case, then obviously they get reimbursed that premium for the one night that they are having to share.

If its all already been paid for, I'd probably charge them 1 night shared rate, and then put that directly into the drinks/ents kitty.

If it hasn't already been paid for I'd probably split it per room tbh, so the cost of each "couple" sharing a room comes to 1/6 of the total. Within the rooms where there is 1 person alone for one night and one night where two share, I'd think it was fairest split the cost of that room as 1/4 for the 1 nighter and 3/4 for the 2 nighter, but at a push 1/3 :2/3 might be a reasonable compromise.

HeisenbergSaysHello Fri 26-Jun-15 17:52:06

I genuinely thought the OP meant there was some people who would be taking their cats when she said "kitties"


MiddleAgedandConfused Fri 26-Jun-15 18:04:47

I wouldn't share the bed.... so it would be no from me unless you can get bed sharing volunteers. hmm

RandomMess Fri 26-Jun-15 18:04:52

I think split the accommodation costs equally regardless of how many nights - if they then choose not to come it makes no difference, the accommodation is a fixed cost for everyone.

Split food and drink by days/night whatever as that is a variable cost, the more there are of you the more it costs.

froggyjump Fri 26-Jun-15 18:14:49

The accommodation costs tp the party as a whole will include costs for changing/cleaning the bedding. If extra beds are used those will have to be changed whether they have been slept in for 1 or 2 nights. So your latecomers need to pay the same as everyone else.

chairmeoh Fri 26-Jun-15 18:21:54

Def divide by the number of people staying, not the number of nights. You're bound to get others wanting to just pay for 1 night otherwise.

They can pay for 2 nights, or not come. Next time bet there won't be a next time they'll have to be in on the planning and budgeting from the beginning like everyone else.

Gazebogirl Fri 26-Jun-15 18:23:33

I'm having nothing to do with the food and drinks kitty. (Not a real cat!) I know my limits!

The thing is (drip feed) that this is Centerparcs so it's a 3 night booking, Fri Sat Sun. As far as I know, we are all coming back on the Sunday rather than the Monday so staying and paying for one night is impossible officially. It feels to me that unless the two extras pay the whole amount then everyone else is facilitating their shorter stay. I'm not putting it very well, v tired.

I'm REALLY hoping we all have a lovely time...

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