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If you are a bit protective of your texts does it necessarily mean texts from another woman / man

(10 Posts)
readingtoomuchintoit Fri 26-Jun-15 05:46:46

Probably am being unreasonable but yesterday I was looking at a photo of dd on h's phone (he had passed me the phone) and trying to "share" it with me. First thing that was weird is that he said he didn't want me looking at all the photos (?) - so I immediately did (turned it into joke) and it turns out the other photos were of electric metres (cue another joke about how he is dating an electric metre).

Was first going to email the photo from his phone to mine using my Gmail account. He seemed ok with this. Couldn't get into my account so texted them instead. When he realised this he said "texting" in a panicky voice. I said yes but I hadn't gone into his texts.

I then wasn't sure that the photos had gone through. I asked to go into his texts and he wouldn't give his phone back to me but showed me the texts that had gone through. I guess if I had looked I would have seen his other texts.

I then wanted the phone back just to check that I had not actually gone into my Gmail account so that I could close it. He passed it to me reluctantly crossly telling me "never to use his phone for anything" - he does that sometimes - goes from ok to bad tempered and shouty in 1 second.

I did make a comment about him obviously not wanting me to see his texts but he ignored this. Then again not unusual as he ignores a lot.

Was then thinking about the whole thing and thinking that I too would not actually want h to go into my texts particularly and I couldn't be further from having an affair or any kind of compromising communication with anyone. There are however, texts between me and my sister which I wouldn't want him or anyone else to see for example.

Incident did make me wonder. H is not glued to his phone but given that he has recently been secretive about pretty major stuff (not an OW), I don't feel trust.

MythicalKings Fri 26-Jun-15 06:02:59

There is absolutely nothing in my phone that DH could take exception to but I still wouldn't want him examining it. I wouldn't want him reading my diary (if I kept one) either.

It's personal space thing. It would feel a bit controlling and creepy if he wanted to see everything

CainInThePunting Fri 26-Jun-15 06:03:48

Tricky, as no one here knows your husband as you do.
However, I am very secretive about my phone/tablet, it's not that I have anything to hide it just feels very personal and I even get protective with DS and my Dad.
Try not to over think it but gut instincts are generally good instincts.
As you have other reason not to trust him you should probably try to talk to him about it.
Sorry I'm not very helpful.

theendoftheendoftheend Fri 26-Jun-15 06:09:04

I'm pretty relaxed about it so it would only bother me if there was something specific I didn't want that person to see.
I'm generally like that though!

NRomanoff Fri 26-Jun-15 06:53:35

I am one of those that feels it's an invasion of my personal space. Especially if someone could just pass me my phone and say....can you send me that photo.

There is nothing on my phone dh i would want dh to see. The only thing that would ever be a problem is when creepy men send pictures of their dick on Instagram. Which I tell dh straight away about and we laugh at the weirdness of someone doing that, then I delete it and block the person.

But you say you have reason not to trust him, so it's more difficult for you. You need to speak to him and tell him how his lies have made you feel and damaged the trust between you.

Denimwithdenim00 Fri 26-Jun-15 07:03:13

I think it's a bad sign op sorry especially combined with recent events and your gut feeling.

That's just my view however as my dh and I share phones, tablets etc. I would think it was strange if my dh suddenly went all possessive over his phone.

Optimist1 Fri 26-Jun-15 07:18:07

Given that you wouldn't want him to see texts to your sister, YABU to expect complete access to his phone/texts, OP . smile

Denimwithdenim00 Fri 26-Jun-15 07:22:01

Good point optimist op think it's a sudden change in behaviour that's key. That's when you need to worry.

stevienickstophat Fri 26-Jun-15 07:22:14

I've nothing to hide but I hate anyone getting hold of my phone/laptop/tablet.

It's a personal space thing. I remember DP offering to delete the hundreds of emails on my phone and it was almost physically painful. I had to stop him.

Nothing to hide at all - just hated it. So, not necessarily anything to worry about. Cheaters tend to cover their tracks and have false openness anyway.

DirectorOfBetter Fri 26-Jun-15 07:26:39

There are texts I wouldn't want DH to see because I occasionally have a bit of a moan or joke about him to my closest friend. I would speak to him about the stuff I share with my friend but the tone would be very different from the tone of the texts. I would explain that to him if he ever wanted to look at my texts. Otherwise there's nothing to hide on my phone and I'd be v v suspicious in your shoes.
And wtaf is going on re the parking meter pics?grin

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