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to be pleased that I can't lick both nipples with little physical contortion?

(98 Posts)
chippednailvarnish Thu 25-Jun-15 23:32:10

Just sayin'

CatthiefKeith Thu 25-Jun-15 23:36:50

Did you try then? grin

AnyFucker Thu 25-Jun-15 23:38:36

that's nice, dear

bungmean Thu 25-Jun-15 23:39:42

Who's nipples?

MaggieJoyBlunt Thu 25-Jun-15 23:40:39

Pleased that you CAN'T? hmm confused

Having tried?

I'm really not going to ask grin

travertine Thu 25-Jun-15 23:40:43

It really is much easier if you get someone else to lick them ( I really have no idea what's going on but I like nipples)

chippednailvarnish Thu 25-Jun-15 23:41:10

Actually I have a dodgy disc in my neck, so no I didn't try.


BlackeyedSusan Thu 25-Jun-15 23:41:53

just you wait, gravity makes everything head south, no physical contortion will be needed. just lifting the saggy things.

WorraLiberty Thu 25-Jun-15 23:42:13

Even though I'm a SAHM with school aged children

Would it be wrong for me to hire someone to lick my nipples for me?

It's just that I get a bit overwhelmed and DH works long hours.

chippednailvarnish Thu 25-Jun-15 23:42:46

and small norks.

There's not much to lift.

chippednailvarnish Thu 25-Jun-15 23:45:17

Worra how much would you pay eyes up an employment opportunity for DH

Fatmomma99 Thu 25-Jun-15 23:45:22

I haven't tried, but I think I could also do this.

I'm also VERY proud. I am a little-titted lady, but I've put on weight and have gravity issues, so I think if I did a backwards roll, I could now do this.

My dd has sucked my nipples, so has my DH. I am the only person in this house who hasn't (although, nor has my dog...). Maybe now is my chance to try.

Sadly, I'm not keen enough to experiment and come back and report.

MaggieJoyBlunt Thu 25-Jun-15 23:48:28

Backwards roll? Sod that, that's sport.

WorraLiberty Thu 25-Jun-15 23:48:47

No more than NMW to begin with chipped and on a zero hours contract

My nipples refuse to commit to just anyone!

chippednailvarnish Thu 25-Jun-15 23:52:09

I don't think my DH will meet your nipple's high standards...

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered Fri 26-Jun-15 00:05:24

Nope. Can't quite get there yet.

Give it a couple of years smile

scrub that; sad!

WorraLiberty Fri 26-Jun-15 00:06:25

I don't think my DH will meet your nipple's high standards...

Would he consider a training scheme, if I can secure funding?

CelibacyCakeAndFuckThePO Fri 26-Jun-15 00:20:35

I can, with minimal effort, lick my nipples.

Either lying down or standing up.

I have gigantic and saggy norks.

I was going to put <smug> at my nipple-licking ability, but I think i'll just slink off to the corner.

CelibacyCakeAndFuckThePO Fri 26-Jun-15 00:21:33

Just to add.

This is only something I tried after reading this thread.

I previously had no knowledge of my ability.

MadAngryGnome Fri 26-Jun-15 00:21:48

I'd be worried if you could only lick one.

Momagain1 Fri 26-Jun-15 00:22:04

I discovered years ago that due weight gain and gravity, I could. DH was, um, impressivly impressed with the sight.

NormaStits Fri 26-Jun-15 00:30:40

I can get mine in my nostrils.

MaggieJoyBlunt Fri 26-Jun-15 00:33:49

That will be useful if there's a gas leak Norma smile

lemonade30 Fri 26-Jun-15 00:35:45

I can use mine as a sleep mask

Idontseeanydragons Fri 26-Jun-15 00:55:48

Well thanks to this thread I've just pulled a muscle in my neck giving it a go...

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