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Dp upset me

(19 Posts)
Heartbreakhotel15 Thu 25-Jun-15 21:44:20

Me and dp had a night out for dinner today. Been together 18 months, only met his mum and step dad. Not his "posh" side, or his grandad.

Anyway driving through local town we see his grandad in his front garden. I tell dp we should go and say hello. Dp makes excuses about it being late ect. Turns out the real reason is that his grandad is judgemental about people's size. I'm a size 20.

Iv not stopped crying. I feel such an embarrassment

MasterchefIwish Thu 25-Jun-15 21:53:50

Oh OP, I'm sorry. To be fair to your DP though perhaps his granddad embarrasses him anyway with this attitude and he didn't want you being hurt by it. It's not a reflection on you or your size but your DPs granddad's bad attitude.

Would you rather he'd stopped, knowing you may get comments or nastiness? Is your DP the kind to be nasty and judge or do you think he was embarrassed at his granddad's attitude and wanted to protect you from it? Because that's the question you need to ask yourself.

Heartbreakhotel15 Thu 25-Jun-15 21:53:50


MakeItRain Thu 25-Jun-15 21:54:38

I think that says a lot about your DP. He is the one worrying about other people's opinions. What's he like generally? Is he not very confident? Not introducing you like that would make me question whether he would be a good long term partner.

LaurieFairyCake Thu 25-Jun-15 21:56:46

I'd be asking if grandad is overtly judgemental and rude to people's faces

Because it's also possible that your partner isn't prepared to stand up for you being (a bit) overweight or state that your his choice of partner.

I think very few people are rude when introduced to people they don't know - that's just not the norm.

EatShitDerek Thu 25-Jun-15 21:57:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MasterchefIwish Thu 25-Jun-15 22:01:55

Only you can know your DP and how he is though

I think that's the crux OP. If you are upset because you believe your DP is embarrassed to introduce you then perhaps he shouldn't be a DP. But given that he told you the truth, maybe it's the granddad who embarrassed him and he didn't want to ruin your night?

TheoriginalLEM Thu 25-Jun-15 22:03:10

maybe he was embarrassed by his grandad!!

Heartbreakhotel15 Thu 25-Jun-15 22:26:04

Thanks all.

He hasn't told his posh family about me either. Bevause I'm a single mum I think he worries they will judge.

I can understand why he's embarrassed about his grandad. But it hurtS sad

youareallbonkers Thu 25-Jun-15 23:13:27

Does it bother you bring size 20? If not then shattered does it matter what grandad says?

youareallbonkers Thu 25-Jun-15 23:14:40

Autocorrect lol

Aeroflotgirl Thu 25-Jun-15 23:16:25

All you say would be a massive dealbreaker for me. Sounds as though he's embarassed of you sad.

VanitasVanitatum Thu 25-Jun-15 23:16:46

It sounds like he was embarrassed of his grandad, not you, quite rightly.

You don't need to conform to judgemental opinions OP flowers

Atenco Thu 25-Jun-15 23:20:52

It sounds like he was embarrassed of his grandad, not you, quite rightly

Obviously he is quite happy with your weight or he wouldn't be with you, OP, now would he?

Aeroflotgirl Thu 25-Jun-15 23:28:08

Op has said he has not told his posh family about her, because she is a single mum and they will judge. They have to know about her at some point. If they do judge he should defend you. Sounds like he has a weak backbone.

Heartbreakhotel15 Thu 25-Jun-15 23:50:30

So his mum has rang me and we had a lovely chat, apparently his grandad is like it with everyone and he didn't want me getting upset.

His "posh" family he sees once a year. Totally up their arses. His nan is a vicar, they have no right to judge bevause she was a single mum once!
He is even to scared to tell his grandma he's a veggie

Aeroflotgirl Thu 25-Jun-15 23:56:32

That's good op, you don't have to have such to do with them, they sound like your classic toxic family members.

MaggieJoyBlunt Thu 25-Jun-15 23:59:56

A "single mum" is just a woman with children who is now single.

Women have children. Relationships break up. It's hardly the discovery of life on Mars, is it?

Ignore anyone who makes anything of it.

MasterchefIwish Fri 26-Jun-15 09:14:26

They sound toxic, no wonder he doesnt want to be honest about himself- he knows the fallout. Id be glad he is taking care not to drag you into it and has introduced you to the family he loves not those who merely share DNA.

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