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AIBU?

To have not demanded a plastic surgeon for split head : (

84 replies

Crossroads2 · 25/06/2015 21:10

Feeling like the worst mummy in the world.

My three year old boy fell off his scooter and cut his head. I took him straight to A&E and they glued it. It's about 1cm on the side of his forehead.

I feel awful. My husband says it will leave a huge crater. My inlaws said I should have insisted on a plastic surgeon stitching it. I asked the hospital and they said they don't have them there and I would have had to go somewhere else. It was 10pm at night. He was exhausted. Did I really do my little boy so wrong and scar him forever : (((

OP posts:
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justshaggingalong · 25/06/2015 21:12

Honestly I wouldn't worry, accidents happen and I have never heard of plastic surgeons being called for small cuts. Scars will fade.

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hiddenhome · 25/06/2015 21:13

They don't seem to suture stuff now. Ds1 sustained quite a deep cut on his eyebrow. They applied steristrips which came off a couple of days later and he's left with a scar. It's faded now, so hardly noticeable.

You just have to accept what you're given these days. As long as it heals it'll be okay and will fade.

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WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 25/06/2015 21:14

you can't insist on a plastic surgeon sorting it. If you needed one you would have got one, you didn't so you didn't get one. Your inlaws have no idea how the NHS works.

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cashewnutty · 25/06/2015 21:16

Both my DD's got massive gashes on the forehead when they were little. A bit of glue and steristrips sorted them. They both have very faint scars now (age 17 and 22) and you really can't tell. Your DS will be fine. Boys need battle scars!

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TurnOverTheTv · 25/06/2015 21:17

A plastic surgeon coming to stitch it? In the words of Mumsnet 'Are they on glue?'

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AuntyMag10 · 25/06/2015 21:18

Your il seem misguided about the nhs. medically trained staff and didn't see the need for one.

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DawnOfTheDoggers · 25/06/2015 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 25/06/2015 21:21

When he's older and interested in women, the scar will give him an air of mystery and daring do. It will attract the women when he explains how he got it fighting off a grizzly bear in the Canadian outback, and he will thank you for not calling that plastic surgeon.

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GayByrne · 25/06/2015 21:23

Here's a grip, give it to them...

You did the right thing getting your baby home asap. Let him wear his scar with pride and tell in laws to stick with their american tv.

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aintnothinbutagstring · 25/06/2015 21:23

I don't think a plastic surgeon is necessary for a few stitches, most docs can suture. However before they suture, they'd have to inject local anaesthetic around or even into the wound itself which can be quite painful in itself and probably quite distressing for a small child.

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theconstantvacuumer · 25/06/2015 21:23

DS cut his lip (below the lip line) badly at that age. A&E sent us to see the plastic surgeons. They were very reluctant to stitch, largely because at that age children won't sit still for stitching but putting them under anaesthetic while stitching is very risky. Anyway, DS has a very fine scar now (he's 6).

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Cornettoninja · 25/06/2015 21:23

Kids get scars! If it's not horribly disfiguring or likely to cause other issues stop beating yourself up.

I have two facial scars obtained in childhood which are from accidents while my parents were watching me. I really like them and suffered nothing more than the original injury and a couple of stitches. Stop listening to anyone guilt tripping you.

If you're concerned then by all means get it checked out, but my understanding is that treating a scar isn't worth it unless it's causing other issues. Especially in a child when time and growth is likely to resolve 99% of any cosmetic issues.

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WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 25/06/2015 21:24

Huh?

It'll be fine. He'll be fine. You won't even notice it in a year or 2. Scars fade, loads of children get scars, it's fine. DD2 got very bad chicken pox and in the right light you can see loads of pockmark scars but you know, most of the time you can't and she's lovely and as she grows they will get even less noticeable. DD1 fell and cut the bridge of her nose right open i didn't get anything done to it even though it was deep and gaping (thanks for teh advice dad! ahem) anyway it scarred but now 5 years later it's barely noticeable.

It is upsetting when your child's previously unblemished skin gets blemished but honestly it'll be fine.

Don't understand all the "demand a plastic surgeon" stuff at all.

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Silvercatowner · 25/06/2015 21:24

They could always pay for a private consultation if they have so little faith in our wonderful A&E doctors.....

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GayByrne · 25/06/2015 21:24

Ps my bil is a plastic surgeon and would laugh his ass off if a parent requested this!!

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CitrineRaindropPhoenix · 25/06/2015 21:25

My brother is horribly scarred. If there was an accident he could have, he had it.

He does look daring, dashing and mysterious but doesn't talk about crashing mum's car into a farm or trying to jump a barbed wire hedge. All accidents were fights with bears which he won.

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bonzo77 · 25/06/2015 21:25

Honestly, he would have needed a general anaesthetic for the stitches. Not worth it. And it will heal and fade before you know it. Ds1 had similar last year aged 4. I can barely find the scar now.

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FringedLampshade · 25/06/2015 21:25

Your ILs are living in medical lala land, OP. i can't imagine why they feel impelled to share how badly they feel you handled your son's cut, rather than just being sympathetic. Trips to A and E was an injured toddler are quite bad enough without being blamed for not 'insisting' on another treatment medical staff didn't think was necessary!

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Pico2 · 25/06/2015 21:27

If it doesn't heal to a satisfactory scar then you can get it revised by a plastic surgeon, though I think with 1 cm there is a good chance that you'd have to go private.

I have a cm scar on my face from an accident when I was about 3. It was stitched by someone a bit dubious. It really isn't noticable now and faded really quickly.

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AlmaMartyr · 25/06/2015 21:29

DD had a massive gash on her forehad when she was one. It was glued up and you can barely see it now. I have scars from childhood as well (no plastic surgeon!) and they're barely visible - no-one ever notices. Your DS will be fine.

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IslaMann · 25/06/2015 21:29

Plastic surgery nurse here! If you're concerned about the scar, here's a tip. Once healed, massage a pea sized amount of Vaseline over the scar for a few minutes twice a day ( if he'll let you!). It will soften the scar tissue and help it settle quicker. Don't use bio-oil, it's a con. It's the massage action that works, not anything magic in the ointment or oil.

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caffiene99 · 25/06/2015 21:32

I split my forehead on a radiator when I was 6 or 7. At that time the local GP just added strip stitches which were subsequently removed by a nurse.

I do have a scar but it's not barely noticeable. Scars fade and reduce over time - your son's will too. You can also buy special gel to try to speed up the fading and appearance of the scar if you are still concerned.

Your son was tired and your followed the advice of the trained staff at the hospital - YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOTHER!!!

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dixiechick1975 · 25/06/2015 21:33

I'd assume PIL were american. It will heal and he will be fine.

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Youmakemydreams · 25/06/2015 21:34

I have a scar in between my eyes that runs in to another across the bridge of my nose to make An L shape so right in the middle of my face. I did it when I was two and it has always been part of me I actually forgot it was there. It's not huge but obviously noticeable because people regularly commented on it. Never bothered me at all was quite proud of it in a way as something exclusive to me.
Disappointed nobody mentions it now purely because I have reached an age where it probably looks like a deep frown line rather than a scar.
I think your pil are a bit off the mark really about a 1cm scar. It will fade in time and as the skin stretches when he grows will be barely noticeable. You did the right thing.

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MistressMerryWeather · 25/06/2015 21:36

Good God no.

You were 100% right not to have demanded a surgeon.

You inlaws are wrong. leave them too it. Bloody drama queens.

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