AIBU to ask for your help again? Toilet training...

(10 Posts)
NorksWar Thu 25-Jun-15 20:45:19

I posted a few months ago about my 4 year old who won't sleep. I received some really supportive replies which I'm really grateful for, so thought I'd pop back.

So DS is 4, currently at pre - school and starting school in September. I potty trained him at 2.5 after he showed signs that he was ready, and at first he was fine but now wets himself on a regular basis. Some days he will stay dry all day but most days he will either leave it too late or just wet himself and say he was "too busy". In 2 years there has been no improvement. We've tried sticker charts and treats and lots of positive praise but to no avail.

His sleeping is still an issue. Some nights he will be up all night refusing to sleep/saying he's poorly/having bad dreams and the bad nights seem to coincide with the days when he will come home having wet himself 4 or 5 times. That makes me wonder if it's an anxiety thing. I've been to the GP but he didn't want to know.

Sorry for waffling, just wondered if anyone had any magic cures for their children staying dry?

Teacherinatutu Thu 25-Jun-15 21:05:37

I find health visitors are a lot more helpful in these situations. He's still under 5 so you could also access support from your local children's centre!

whippy33 Thu 25-Jun-15 21:12:38

In my experience children with continence issues at school age have been advised to make sure they drink a lot more than they are doing. This is to fill the bladder and improve the capacity of it. It also means that each time they go they will empty it properly. With not much to drink the bladder doesn't get full as often and so they don't get that 'need to pee' feeling. Hope that makes sense!

missymayhemsmum Thu 25-Jun-15 22:00:16

Lots of kids wet themselves in preschool/ reception because they are too busy to notice they need a wee. Take him for a wee when he arrives and ask the staff to remind him intermittently?

Maybe get the possibility of a UTI excluded by the GP? Does he have an 'empty out' before bedtime? Maybe remind him to go at certain times during the day, eg before mealtimes, before going on car journeys, so it becomes a habit.
Make sure he is drinking enough (but not just before bedtime)? Could well be an anxiety thing, processing the new experiences etc, and he is still very little. Is he weeing himself during the day because he's tired from a disrupted night, perhaps?

Er, does weeing himself get him individual attention at nursery? sounds like he may not see it as a problem!

Primafacie Thu 25-Jun-15 22:11:40

What types of treats have you offered? I have found with DS it is more effective to promise one big reward, ie something he has wanted to have for a long time, rather than lots of sweets or small treats every time he does it. I have also allowed him to choose his reward (within reason), so he knows exactly what to do to get something he's been wishing for.

DisappointedOne Fri 26-Jun-15 07:43:27

We've been going through this with DD (4.5) since new year. sad

DisappointedOne Fri 26-Jun-15 07:51:54

School haven't been helpful in reminding DD to drink through the day. When she remembers herself it's much better. So hard trying to deal with it without making it a big issue. Have had 2 dry days on the trot this week, so maybe we're getting somewhere. Hopefully we can establish new habits with DD over the summer when school isn't getting in the way!

NorksWar Sun 28-Jun-15 15:57:26

Thanks for all your replies. Sorry for the delay on replying - wifi issues!

I think the drinking regularly does help. At nursery they can help themselves to water and at home there's always a drink around, but he does need reminding and I seem to spend all day reminding him to drink and go to the toilet.
There just seems to be no logic behind when he has a good/bad day and he just doesn't care that he's covered in wee!

I've found smaller treats work better otherwise he loses interest in his sticker chart even if it's for something big that he really wants.

I try to avoid my useless Health Visitors a such as possible but may wait until school and see how he gets on then. His new teacher assures me it's common and he won't be the only one..

fourmeatpies Sun 28-Jun-15 16:07:19

try a bed wetting alarm on him in the daytime, he won't be "Too busy" for long once that goes off.

DisappointedOne Sun 28-Jun-15 19:20:42

Alarms shouldn't be used on under-7s.

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