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To be furious with these girls?

(46 Posts)
Reallyfedupmum Thu 25-Jun-15 17:37:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PHANTOMnamechanger Thu 25-Jun-15 17:41:47

Get the school involved - speak to her tutor/mentor/head of house/school counsellor, or whatever pastoral team your school has in place.

Imnotaslimjim Thu 25-Jun-15 17:49:55

They're not friends and that isn't peer pressure, it's bullying plain and simple. Get the school involved, it isn't fair on your dd.

ExitPursuedByABear Thu 25-Jun-15 17:51:39

Definitely get school involved. How old are they? It could just be a passing phase.

Reallyfedupmum Thu 25-Jun-15 17:54:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Littleorangecat Thu 25-Jun-15 17:56:03

Can you encourage her to join local out of school clubs? There may be girls there from other schools who she can make friends with so she's not quite so dependent on these girls for friendship? Is there one particular girl who isn't horrible to her who she could gravitate more to?

Reallyfedupmum Thu 25-Jun-15 18:03:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Reallyfedupmum Thu 25-Jun-15 18:04:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 25-Jun-15 18:42:15

You daughter would be better off without these 'friends', even at the cost of an interim 'no friends'. She needs to see that for herself. Does she have friends/activities outside school? It would be good if these could be beefed up in the meantime so that the transition isn't too stark.

Then she can walk away from these horrible girls and not look back. Your daughter needs a little bit of strength here too, she can't just lie back and take it.

I'm not sure if it's bullying; it's the sort of thing I had in school too and I know I'm not on my own. We didn't call it bullying, it was just what some kids did and the advice is the same whatever it is.

Fatmomma99 Thu 25-Jun-15 18:45:32

I would move schools tbh. This sounds horrendous for her.

Can she take up a outside school activity and try and make new friends that way?

viva100 Thu 25-Jun-15 19:00:20

Argh I was in a similar situation to your DD at one point when I was 13/14. Worst year of my life. Luckily, I got brilliant marks in exams and got to move to a really good high school (this was not in the UK).

If things are that bad, moving schools might actually be a solution. Being with no friends in high school is horrendous. And high school girls can be monsters.

Pantone363 Thu 25-Jun-15 19:03:39

I'd move schools. I understand what your DD is saying. She lost her first group and the second group have 'taken' her in (but with the proviso they can bully her). They know full well she has no other group to turn to. Even if she leaves this group and joins another she's still at a disadvantage.

Reallyfedupmum Thu 25-Jun-15 19:03:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Reallyfedupmum Thu 25-Jun-15 19:06:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mamus Thu 25-Jun-15 19:08:43

I'd move her, no question.

Oliversmumsarmy Thu 25-Jun-15 19:09:26

What is the point in her staying in the school she is in? She is not happy and she never will be. Why waste any more time. Move her now and maybe with the lessons learnt she will be more able to stand her ground in the next school.

UglyBugaz Thu 25-Jun-15 19:10:53

Those girls are leeches and your daughter won't stand up to them (which is understandable) so you have to let her move school. It isn't fair on her to have to dread going to school where she should be learning.

crustsaway Thu 25-Jun-15 19:12:21

Im another one saying to move her.

Reallyfedupmum Thu 25-Jun-15 19:16:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FishCanFly Thu 25-Jun-15 19:30:14

Move. New faces will only do good

crustsaway Thu 25-Jun-15 19:32:02

Glad to hear that OP. I feel for your daughter and why should she "toughen" up if its not in her nature to. My son was always a gentle soul, I was constantly being told to "toughen" him up. The answer was always "No I wont". He's now nearly 18 and his friends are exactly the same as him, kind, great kids.

Branleuse Thu 25-Jun-15 19:40:57

id move her too

muminhants1 Thu 25-Jun-15 19:45:35

Are there really no activities locally for her age? Swimming? Athletics? Junior parkrun/parkrun? Street dance? Guides? Girls' brigade? St Johns ambulance?

But moving school might be the answer if it's feasible. However, you say she's in exam years so it might not be and after-school activities might be better (she shouldn't spend all her time doing homework anyway and she needs extra-curricular activities for applications for a college/sixth form place, job etc).

wwbuffydo Thu 25-Jun-15 19:56:32

I'd say move. Especially if there is no support from the school. The only way you can change this is with the full support of the school.

Whatamuckingfuddle Thu 25-Jun-15 20:40:53

I'd probably vote for move schools, I'm sorry this is happening though

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