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To want husband to sound a bit more chuffed by my surprise weekend plans for his 40th birthday?

(166 Posts)
ilovelamp2 Thu 25-Jun-15 13:34:03

Spent last few months sorting out a nice night on the town for just the two us, restaurant, comedy gig, taxis, baby sitter. Followed by an over night stay for us and our 4 year old in a lovely hotel in Leeds , train tickets, canal boat rides, restaurants booked, lovely family room so we're not all sharing. Have also arranged for whole of his family (from other end of the country!) and best friends to meet us at his favourite restaurant for early dinner on Sunday - he doesn't know about this bit yet but wondering why I bothered.

I sent him an email today with a link to what looked like some boring holiday insurance for our hols in August but really it was an online invitation/itinerary type thing for his 40th birthday celebratory weekend. His response? "Sounds good smile. See you tonight." Phoned him on mobile and he didn't even ask any questions or make any comments about it - just repeated 'yeah, sounds good.'

Am I being unreasonable to be cross that he sounds a bit non-plussed? Feel like crying, I am so disappointed. I just wanted him to be excited about it all and now I'm half worried that he won't enjoy it and half furious that he isn't more bloody grateful!!

midnightvelvet01 Thu 25-Jun-15 13:36:39

Has he assumed it was actually just holiday insurance & not opened the link?

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Thu 25-Jun-15 13:37:55

Maybe he was actually working??
Or maybe he wanted a quiet celebration?
You always take a risk with a surprise celebration.

See how he is over the next few days.

haveabreakhaveakitkat Thu 25-Jun-15 13:38:38

I reckon he's not looked at the link

Pippa12 Thu 25-Jun-15 13:40:31

No yanbu and I'd be gutted flowers

RattleAndRoll Thu 25-Jun-15 13:40:31

Yeah I reckon he hasn't opened the link.
If he has then I'd be gutted if gone through all that effort. But then again I'd probably have printed the itinerary and wrapped it up / put it in a card and given it to him so I could see his reaction. Bit odd to email a gift iyswim?

VacantExpression Thu 25-Jun-15 13:41:19

I think he hasn't looked properly either. That's my DH to a tee. um and ah and agreeable noises till he reads the email properly in a few weeks time

tigermoll Thu 25-Jun-15 13:41:40

Ask him calmly if he'd rather do something else -- you can phrase it nicely as "you don't seem all that keen, and I organised this because I thought you'd like it. If you had something else in mind, I'd rather do that, what with it being your birthday and everything "

ilovelamp2 Thu 25-Jun-15 13:42:10

No - definitely opened the link - good theory though!

He doesn't work weekends.

He loves going out, being busy, doing things.

Am wondering if he thought I was taking him away just the two of us for the weekend and can't hide his dissappointment. We are already going away the two of us in October though and he knows I don't have s secret stash of money to pay for mini - breaks though.

He knew I was planning something because I to,d him not to make any plans for that weekend. Feel like I can't win. I can't exactly make him feel excited about it and I can't cancel it. Why does he have to be so bloody awkward?!

Mrsjayy Thu 25-Jun-15 13:42:36

He didnt read it because he is working and fibbed to you busted he doesnt pay attention to emails you send

midnightvelvet01 Thu 25-Jun-15 13:44:48

Sorry to go on, but how do you know he's looked at it?

If he's at work he could have opened it then had to go somewhere, or not quite realised it was all for him.

FATEdestiny Thu 25-Jun-15 13:44:54

I don't like surprises, especially so from my husband with things like holidays. Much of the fun, I feel, comes from the planning and deciding.

He missed all of the exciting planning stages.

ilovelamp2 Thu 25-Jun-15 13:44:58

Yeah - I was thinking about wrapping it up so hat I could see his face but it all starts tomorrow and we are at a parents' evening thing tonight so thought I'd surprise him today instead. Wish I had wrapped it up and put it under his pillow now though - at least then he would have had to pretend to be happy about it ...

FATEdestiny Thu 25-Jun-15 13:48:08

I booked a week somewhere exotic for DH & I (alone) for DHs 40th. Arranged grandparents to look after the children. I was super excited. When DH opened his present (print out placed in wrapped box) he was.... not very excited.

In the end we had to cancel and couldn't go (I got pregnant and couldn't have the immunisations). DH later confessed he was relieved because he felt very pushed-out that he was given no say in the whole holiday.

ilovelamp2 Thu 25-Jun-15 13:49:01

I really do wish it was the case that he hadn't read it but when I spoke to him briefly on the phone I reminded him that he loved that comedy cafe thing and he said, yeah I know. So he's definitely read it.

I see what you mean about him missing out on the organising but seriously, if you knew my husband you'd know that that is a gift in itself to him - he absolutely hates organising anything!

I guess I just can't stop thinking hat if he had done something like that for me, even if the details weren't my favourite things, and I might have chosen something different, I would have been so happy that he'd gone to the effort and loved it all anyway.

ilovelamp2 Thu 25-Jun-15 13:51:47

Oh dear FATE! How awful! Not the being pregnant bit obviously! But this is only a one and a half hour train journey to Leeds and an overnight stay ... Not really many decisions to make. We have planned the one in October together and the camping, and our main summer holiday.

BaronessBomburst Thu 25-Jun-15 13:56:29

But is he a bouncy, excitable expressive sort of chap?
My DH's reaction to anything he loves is still only a nod and a smile, and if he was at work you wouldn't even get that.

midnightvelvet01 Thu 25-Jun-15 13:56:32

Oh sad Then you have every right to be deflated yes and to cancel it & take the fecker to your nearest Hungry Horse instead

I would mention tonight that he doesn't seem very excited about it....see what he says

ilovelamp2 Thu 25-Jun-15 13:58:58

I hope you're right BARONESS. He was at work for the email and then in B and Q when I phoned him ...

MIDNIGHT - hungry horse it is if he doesn't cheer up!

BaronessBomburst Thu 25-Jun-15 14:03:00

He just needs to let it sink in and not be preoccupied with something else when you phone him!

ilovelamp2 Thu 25-Jun-15 14:07:07

Hope so! He could look on trip advisor for the hotel - really nice one! A family room with a separate living area too! I am excited at least!!! Also first class rail tickets! What's not to like?!

googoodolly Thu 25-Jun-15 14:07:45

Maybe he just didn't want the whole weekend planned for him? It was a really sweet idea but I wouldn't be impressed to be told what I was doing for my birthday weekend.

ilovelamp2 Thu 25-Jun-15 14:08:24

You could be right dolly. I certainly won't be doing it again ....

SEsofty Thu 25-Jun-15 14:08:42

He's busy at work so can't think about anything else.

If he's still grumpy tomorrow then can be annoyed

ilovelamp2 Thu 25-Jun-15 14:08:54

Just thought I'd mention that he has had a lads weekend away too! He planned all of that one!

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