to want to punch brown-nosing colleague right in his smug face

[MrsGideon]

I work in a very small team of 4 and the guy opposite me is the BIGGEST suck-up I've ever met. He gets in at about 8 every morning, doesn't leave until gone 7pm, NEVER takes holiday (except once when he took a day off and then came in at lunchtime because he was bored) and then, when asked, claims that he has soooooooooo much to do that he couldn't possibly take a day off. WE HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF WORK!! I feel like it's making me look bad, even though I'm clearly more efficient than he is

He also agrees with literally everything the boss says and is one of those people whose opinions change based on who he is with at the time.

AND he's one of those people who spends 90% of each phone call he makes talking absolute bullshit and not listening to the poor candidate on the other end while annoyingly pacing up and down the room

I know I sound like a right bitch but I needed to get that off my chest

//end rant

Please make me feel better by telling me hilarrible tales of your annoying colleagues?

[DamnBamboo]

I think you sound awful TBH.
Why do you care what he does?
Does it somehow affect you?
MAybe he wants to punch you in the cake-hole too.

[MrsGideon]

Thank you so much for saying I sound awful on my first thread. A simple 'YABU' would have sufficed.

Future posters: this is meant to be lighthearted!

[Cherryblossomsinspring]

OP some people just get up your nose! As long as you are respectful to him in the office (to protect yourself more than anything) then rant away online!

[DamnBamboo]

I've said no worse than you've said. People won't only respond in the way you want them to!
But at your request, YABU.

[ilovesooty]

It's up to his manager to address his work behaviour and performance as well as the use of his annual leave.

So you just don't like him much do you?

[DragonWithAGirlTattoo]

he's a stress bunny - "look at me i'm so important!" I used to work with a administrator who was 'ALWAYS busy" doing not much

does he produce more output than you?

[MrsGideon]

No, far less in fact. It's not the fact that he does all this stuff, so much as the way he rubs it in everyone's faces to try and make himself look better

I was really nervous about posting this because I knew there'd be people thinking I'm being horrible, but I'm never anything but lovely to him IRL! The only place I would ever moan is on here because it's anonymous.

Anyone else got any funny/annoying colleagues?

[CakeLady1]

If he's "always busy" but works longer hours and has the same workload as everyone else, then the next time he proclaims he's "so busy", offer to coach him with some time management techniques (that'll get right up his nose!)
He's not fooling you, he won't be fooling anyone else.
I worked with a guy who would make a big song & dance about being so knowledgeable, doing so much work, being in work til all hours, all whilst doing his masters AND working full time (work paid for it, he had weeks off to do it in). He would've sold his own grandma if he thought it'd get him ahead & had no respect from subcontractors (esp. The ones who threatened him with violence for being such an arrogant prick).
Because he was such a good worker, hedemanded a pay rise from our boss & threatened to leave if he didn't get it.
The result: boss offered to write him a good reference.

[Littleorangecat]

I knew someone like that, he was young & keen and no kids or seemingly and kids / ties at home so He did loads of extra hours. He has since moved up the ranks and is a senior manager.
I am philosophical about it, I couldn't match him in terms of unpaid overtime and didn't want to therefore didn't try, he took the initiative and asked our joint manager to mentor him in management. I guess it's just one of those things, some people do this, some don't. YABU to want to punch him though, either match him or accept it

[MagicMojito]

I used to work with a lady who would tell anybody, at any available opportunity just how "crazy" she was.


Nice enough lady, but it was every single shift ,to numerous customers and was met with many faces. Awkward.

[Cherryblossomsinspring]

I had one who used to do and say stuff like in 'The Office'. I used to look around for cameras before replying sometimes but found it more funny than anything.

Talking loudly to himself '432, 433, 434 new contacts on LinkedIn this month alone. That's a sum total of 38 CEO'S and 45 CFO'S. BOO YAH!' And then he'd kiss his biceps, turn to me and say 'Sooooo, how many contacts do you have on LinkedIn? '.

[DirectorOfBetter]

Save your own blood pressure and go for pitying him. The poor sod clearly has no life outside his work and wondering where the smell of shit is coming from must surely be driving him crazy by now

[Goshthatsspicy]

I bet he is just a very ordinary bloke coming to work each day.

[Preminstreltension]

You've had odd responses on this thread. He sounds super annoying! Pacing up and down the room while on the phone is a real annoyance as is being a suck-up.

My colleagues are all quite nice but I've had some right corkers. One ended up in prison for murdering his wife who found out about the affair he was having with another work colleague. None of us had any idea until we got a call from the press

[MrsGideon]

When I say punch... I kind of mean metaphorically touch wood, I haven't yet had cause to actually punch anyone in my life

Also may or may not currently have raging PMS

[MrsGideon]

Preminstreltension

[MrsGideon]

I think that pretty much trumps anything anyone else could come up with!!

[owlborn]

You've reminded me of my most annoying colleague ever. We worked the exact same hours, but I worked 8 am to 4 pm and she worked 10 am to 6 pm.

And at least twice per week, on average, she'd make snide comments about it being alright for some to slide out early, plus various comments about how I seemed to be taking it easy and if I ever looked busy or rushed she'd somehow imply I could get more done if I stayed later.

She was NEVER in before 10 am. And I know she left on the dot of 6 pm because that is when the person managing the building (who also lived there) used to kick everyone out and got very shirty if you stayed past that.

(Although having RTT I don't think I can touch murder. Although I do know one person who's colleague was sacked for trying to throttle another colleague in the middle of the office in some kind of weird mental breakdown induced rage)

[Hadron21]

I used to work with a women who would sing to herself, "Ronnie Corbett Ronnie Ronnie Corbett" over and over. Over and over.

I just laughed out loud typing that but it's true! I can't put into words how angry it used to make me.

[DJThreeDog]

No idea why you've got the responses you have! It is super annoying to be in the presence of someone that is always - very obviously - trying to make it known just how hard s/he works etc etc.

But I would say, any manager worth his or her salt will realise they are either lying or actually really inefficient at their job if they profess to do overtime that much.

And I second the suggestion to offer him some time management help

[TiltedPenguin]

I feel really sorry for him - doesn't sound like he wants to be at home, what with the never taking holidays and staying at work as long as possible

[DrJacoby]

I love the bicep-kissing LinkedIn obsessive!

I worked with this awful woman who I still have flashbacks about. Her mission was to try and catch me out. She would call across the room in a faux-jolly type of way: "Dr, WHY have you written X here? That's not right is it?" Fortunately she was thick and nearly always got it wrong.

She was also a huge brown noser and is now doing VERY well.

[Twunk]

My DH was an internal auditor - he says the a huge red flag for an employee is never taking holiday - it means that they're worried something might be discovered when they're not there.

[Morro]

TiltedPenguin, that was my first thought too!

[Bullshitbingo]

I used to have a boss who moved me from my very well positioned desk (next to a window, big corner desk with lots of storage) to a shitty desk next to him which was practically in the corridor where people would walk through.
Ok, fair nuff, he's the boss right? But it soon became apparent that he moved me purely so he could make his 'musings' out loud on any topic he liked throughout the day. He liked to think of me as his personal pa (I wasn't) and would monologue all day at me in the manner of someone making notes to a dictaphone. Very annoying for me and anyone who sat near us. Most of the time it wasn't even work related!