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To feel like my friend is taking advantage - wedding rant

(112 Posts)
Bromz Wed 24-Jun-15 13:57:12

Getting married in a few weeks and I wanted to get a few gifts for my bridesmaids etc. Love the idea of homemade things so my colleague who is also a good friend offered to make some bracelets and necklaces for me....when I say "make", I mean thread on some beads etc.

I happily agreed to it as I know she's trying to start up a little business and I'm busy enough as it is. Last night she messaged me with the cost for 5 bead bracelets and 3 necklaces. Baring in mind that there is no real making, just putting some beads on some elastic and putting some small pendants on cheap chains (we even looked at the bits and pieces on ebay so I know they were all dirt cheap!) she was overly sickeningly nice in her message and said she could do everything for a mere £130!!!!!! AIBU to think that she is really taking the p*ss? How do I backtrack and tell her to not bother without offending her?!

CinnabarRed Wed 24-Jun-15 13:58:55

Just say that it's more than your budget and regretfully you'll have to go with something else.

AtrociousCircumstance Wed 24-Jun-15 13:59:03

Just say they're lovely but that's a lot more than we've budgeted for.

CocktailQueen Wed 24-Jun-15 13:59:44

Cheeky! Sounds like crossed wires...

Just say you hadn't budgeted for that much, or that you have found something else that you'd prefer...

haveabreakhaveakitkat Wed 24-Jun-15 14:01:01

That does seem very expensive. I bought some lovely bespoke bracelets for my girls from Ebay, they were around £7/£8 each

Does the price include anything else? Gift wrap, bags etc?

ThomasRichard Wed 24-Jun-15 14:01:33

Hmm. Maybe reply with a breezy email saying something like 'Thanks so much for getting back to me about this. I was imagining paying about £xx but I understand you need to recover your time and costs so I will just pick something up from ebay. Love, Bromz.'

WhyAspoonCousin Wed 24-Jun-15 14:02:22

It depends how basic they are and how long it would take her to do.
That doesn't seem so bad for 8 pieces of jewellery.
If she is a business and you asked her to do it, you can't dictate how much she charges, just say it's over your budget and go elsewhere.

MaxPepsi Wed 24-Jun-15 14:02:39

Reply and ask if it's a typo - £13 or £130??

kissmethere Wed 24-Jun-15 14:03:26

Tell her it's out of your budget. Didn't she give you a quote or price before she started making them though?
If she is starting a small business it's something she needs to do so there are no surprises like this for potential customers.

yellowdinosauragain Wed 24-Jun-15 14:04:02

If it's so easy why don't you buy the bits and do it yourself?

This is her business, not a friend doing you a favour. I've got a friend who makes jewellery. She charges 15-20 for bracelets and about 25 for necklaces. You're not just paying for the cost but also her time and enough profit for it to be worth her while.

That said, if it's more than you budgeted for Yanbu to tell her this but yabvu to belittle her skills in the way you have.

FenellaFellorick Wed 24-Jun-15 14:04:10

thanks for getting back to me with the price, I'm afraid I have to say no, my budget won't stretch to anything like that. I'll buy some on amazon or something instead. Or maybe ebay. When we were looking together, I noticed the prices.

Thanks so much though, and good luck with the business.

PrincessOfChina Wed 24-Jun-15 14:04:24

That's crazy. I presume no precious metals etc.

I bought my three bridesmaids bangles from Swarovski for less than that.

OwlsEscapade Wed 24-Jun-15 14:06:18

i don't think this requires any thought. It's a YANBU.

I'd reply that thanks but that was more than you wanted to spend and that you have already thought of something else. I would make it clear that you definitely don't want them just in case she starts dropping the price.

BullshitS70 Wed 24-Jun-15 14:08:08

piss take

SaucyJack Wed 24-Jun-15 14:08:30

Just say no. And don't be too apologetic about it either.

If she's trying to start up a business then she needs to learn ASAP what's a competitive price to charge.

plutonimum Wed 24-Jun-15 14:08:54

Eight items for an average £16.25 each? What were you planning to spend?

sadwidow28 Wed 24-Jun-15 14:09:59

I buy lovely bespoke jewellery sets from a friend via Esty. (All boxed, and silver clasps on bracelets and necklaces/silver hoops on earrings)

Never have I paid anywhere like that cost for 8 items of jewellery.

I suggest you thank her but say that it is beyond your budget and will find an alternative.

VelvetRose Wed 24-Jun-15 14:11:34

Do as suggested OP. I think that is a ridiculous amount of money to ask but as others have said it's up to her, she can charge what she likes, you don't have to agree to it though!

I sympathise. I am also planning a wedding and a friend offered help with an aspect of it, I was going to pay her, not for free. I actually found the discussions much more difficult than I would have if it had been someone I didn't know. I think we both found it very hard to be direct with each other! Anyway, that may be just me. I decided to thank her very much for offering but went a different way. Good luck with the wedding and congratulations!

Bromz Wed 24-Jun-15 14:12:06

Thanks all, I apprechiate she's running a business but I would have hoped she wouldn't needed to have marked them up quite as much! We work together in the same team everyday, we sit together so she knows how much I'm scrimping and saving for my wedding so I was hoping she'd be a bit more accomodating. Clearly not! I've seen the trade price of the bits and bobs when we we're thinking of designs, so I priced it up myself so I was prepared for a rough idea of cost and I'd probably be looking at £40 maximum to to it myself....just seems a bit off.

naturalbaby Wed 24-Jun-15 14:13:53

Am I alone in thinking £16.25 per item isn't actually too expensive?

I would go for something else rather than cheap beads and elastic.

LazyLouLou Wed 24-Jun-15 14:18:11


You because the cost price of the components is often the least part of beaded jewellery... I add £10 per hour for my time... so a piece that is fiddly but has a 50p component cost (like my wire work) can seem expensive.

Her because she should have asked about budget before she started and designed the pieces to match.

Just talk to her... tell her that is far more than you anticipated... see what she says.

steff13 Wed 24-Jun-15 14:18:24

I don't think it's too expensive, either, but people rarely value handmade items as they should. They just want to pay for the materials and don't put any value on the person's time, or put minimal value on it.

OP, I think you're unreasonable to think she's taking advantage. You asked for a price and she gave you one. If it's more than you want to pay, tell her so, but I fail to see how that's taking advantage of you.

MaxPepsi Wed 24-Jun-15 14:18:34

Approx trade price is £40 and she wants to more than treble it?

£16.25 for some beads on a piece of elasticated string is a bloody ridiculous price.
If the chains and pendants are cheap and not silver same goes for that too.

eddielizzard Wed 24-Jun-15 14:21:53

well presumably she has to actually MAKE them? So if she takes 2 hours to make each one that's £7.50 per hour.

she didn't say she'd make them for free. she's charging you for her time too.

SaucyJack Wed 24-Jun-15 14:23:39

There is absolutely no way it takes two hours to thread one bracelet. Not even if you stopped for a 90 minute lunch break half way through.

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