Or is dh bu regarding cat's medication?(44 Posts)
Our cat needs medication and the absolutely only way to get it into him is in liquid form in a syringe, squirted into his mouth twice a day. This isn't easy and can be distressing for cat and squirter.
I have found the quickest and easiest way is to kneel down, 'trap' his back end softly between my thighs, tip his head back and use my finger and thumb to open his mouth and quickly squirt it in. Takes about 10 seconds then he runs off and has his breakfast/ dinner.
Dh insists that he can't do this. I have to do it every morning and every evening because dh can't.
Cat has been on meds for about 3 months and twice I've gone out straight from work only to come home later to a poorly cat because dh can't give him his medication.
It really annoys me. Often my hands are scratched to hell and I hate that the cat looks scared when he sees me but I've watched dh try and he's just rubbish - cat escapes, twists his head, digs his claws in. However many times he watches me he just says "I can't do it. I don't want to hurt him"
I want to scream at him "it's not a case of can't you just have to DO IT!!!
But can some people just not do this stuff? Aibu to think that justcause I can doesn't mean dh can?
It sounds a bit like convenient helplessness. The sort of tactic whereby some people always put nappies on so that they fall down, invariably burn things if they try to cook, and mix up the washing so dry-clean only things get washed or everything ends up died pink. They really can't be that helpless, but they hope you'll reach a point where you decide it's easier to do it yourself. Grrrrr.
What's the medication? Are you sure that there's no alternative?
Some people just can't or won't do that stuff (or can't/won't IF someone very capable will sweep in a sort it, like you!)
My DH complained he couldn't do it when cat started her 4 pills a day. I went out and left them to it. Guess what? He can.
It's still my job 95% of the time but it's nice he can/will give meds if needed.
I can understand the fear of hurting the cat, but he has to understand that a potential minor injury is nothing compared to the definite decline in health that the cat will experience if he doesn't get his meds. Have you stood over him and physically instructed him in how to do it? He must appreciate that you are not hurting the cat by doing it your way, so he should be asking you to show him EXACTLY how you do it, where you grab him and how to perfect your manoeuvre himself.
I'm your DH in this scenario - diabetic cat needs injecting twice daily, and I am a pathetic wuss who would rather inject myself in the eyeball than stab my lovely boy with a needle. So I move heaven and earth to ensure DH does it. I can do it, I know (and have to when DH works away) but absolutely hate it. I do absolutely get how your DH is feeling about it.
"I can't do it. I don't want to hurt him"
But not giving the cat his meds is hurting him. And why does your DH think it's OK for you to do this but not him? The cat will quickly learn to avoid you if you're not careful.
When giving our cat medicine orally I found a great way is swaddle him in a big blanket so just his head is out. You avoid any scratches, can get a firm grip without hurting them. We also try and have one of us hold cat and open his mouth and the other does medicine.
We've rescued/fostered/tnrd many many cats - my dh still can't administer anything like that or by injection. He'll help me hold them still etc but that's about it. Not sure why he can't/won't. I do think it's because he's scared of doing it wrong or hurting the cat. I'm not going to force him to do it. Yanbu to be frustrated by his unwillingness but if it's something he really is unsure of, YABU to force him to do it.
Defo try making a "cat burrito" with a towel, always did this with my kitten as it seemed the easiest way to contain her without hurting her or getting scratched. Get DH to do the towel swaddling as that's a bit less awful than trying to open the cat's mouth.
Thank you for responses.
It's zantac, villainous. If he doesn't have it he gets ridiculous acid, and vomits. After months of tests, xrays and hospital stays, this regime is working well (zantac and lactulose).
I just think, what if I wasn't here? Would the cat die because dh can't hold his paws and open his mouth? I still think it's an easy optout.
DH is more likely to injure the cat by faffing than by doing it quickly and firmly. I do it just the way you do. Unless it's a pill then I stick the pill to my finger tip with a bit of spit then poke it right down her throat as far as I can reach. I still think it's easier to give medicine to the cat than a toddler!
Could he try learning to do it using a towel to swaddle the cat? I've done this before and it works great. Just make sure the front paws are down against the tummy. You can start by offering chicken or a treat in this position so the cat associates being wrapped up with a treat. You can continue to give the chicken then the syringe (your dh can I mean)
Check out this:
Sophia Yin was a pioneer in low stress handling for animals. Have a look at that video
If a towel doesn't do it try the sleeve of a jumper/coat that you won't mind throwing away.
Put your arm in the sleeve from the outside of the wrist, roll it up so it is above your wrist. reach for the cat face first, and roll the sleeve over its head and body.
This leaves you with the head and mouth free and the scratchy bits tucked inside the jumper/coat.
A farm vet showed me this, it is how he manages the supposedly friendly farm cats
You both are BU. By virtue of not being the cat in this scenario
I do the same with you. Make your OH practice till he gets it.
Ffs I just showed dh that video corgi (thank you) and his response was "it's not that easy".
I want him to try things and practice but at the same time I've watched him try and it ends with distressed cat with zantac in his whiskers and none in him.
When cat is really resistant I've asked dh to help me and just hold his paws to stop him scratching me and every time it's ended up a disaster with dh letting go at a vital point and me ending up scratched and bleeding. It really is easier to do it myself.
The blanket technique is great, I've used it. I'm happy with me and cats current technique, I just want dh to take his turn!!
I am so glad that my cat has never needed regular medication.
I think it is fair to say that cats as a species just don't do medication very well, do they?
I have done the "cat-up-the-sleeve-of-a-jumper" trick occasionally when worming him, but I have taken to using Advocate spot-on for cats a couple of times a year more recently. Less stressful in general, although he always runs off in disgust afterwards.
A couple of times he has needed antibiotics, but my vet solves that one by giving him an injection which is enough to cover several days, for which I am always grateful. It may be a little more expensive, but there is such a thing as money well spent IMHO.
Topseyt if there was long acting injection version of cat's meds I'd pay through the teeth for him to have that from the vet every month or so. But there isn't.
This might be a lifelong condition and I hate hate hate that. But when he has his meds, he is happy and well and spent today sunbathing and cleaning himself in the garden.
I love my cat a ridiculous amount and this is a shitty situation cause really I wish that dh would just do it all and I could just cuddle and kiss the little bear
Presumably you have exhausted all the options of hiding the meds in cheese/pate? In which case your DH needs to grab a towel and man up. Is he worried about hurting the cat or getting bitten?
The answer to "I can't" is "you just need more practice?" Or do you have things in your life which you 'can't' do and DH does for both of you?
I know my cat will fight DH harder than he fights me. Sometimes with the best will in the world from the owner, a person and cat will stress each other. Maybe your DH has just a bit more hesitancy. The cat may simply be calmer in the hands of a more confident owner who can just administer the meds quickly and safely. Sadly looks like it's you in this scenario. Short straw but at least your cat is ok.
Cats just know though - you can't hide anything; they know it's there and have an iron will which means they just resist!
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