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to think I'm not breaching contact order by doing this?

(2 Posts)
AlmondAmy Tue 23-Jun-15 14:02:28

I stopped DDs father having contact in January, on advice of SS. DD is 8. He waited 10 wks before applying to the court and we had our directions hearing 4 wks later. I sent weekly emails with info and photos of DD in the meantime, ex didn't contact me once. Section 7 report was ordered at directions hearing and I offered indirect contact in the meantime in the form of emails, letters and calls.

Dd phoned him 5 times (no answer), wrote 3 letters (no reply) and we continued with the weekly emails. When we were back in court he claimed I was preventing him contacting DD yet admitted he'd received all her communication but hadn't replied except for a letter posted the day before court...!

Another hearing was scheduled for 4 weeks later and direct contact was refused by the court again but thr order stated I must make DD available for indirect contact. Three weeks later and we've still sent emails, called twice and sent a letter and a father's day card. No word from him. Aibu to not try any more and think I won't be in breach of the court order for not doing so? It's damaging DDs self-esteem to keep trying with no response which I told ex in court last time but my friend thinks I may be reprimanded in court if I don't keep trying. It's been almost 6 months since he saw her and I really think contact needs to take place indirectly to ease DD into it and build trust before direct contact resumes but he seems to only want to know if it's in person.

deliciousdevilwoman Tue 23-Jun-15 14:16:08

She would be "available" if he telephoned or sent letters-but he is not bothering. Keep a record of all communications sent/attempted. Between now and the next Directions Hearing, I would send him a general update letter on DD with a few pics-how she is/what she has been doing etc, but not have her write it. Consult your solicitor though. What does the Contact Order actually say in terms of frequency/method of the indirect contact?

Indirect contact needs to be reciprocal-I have had this issue in my own situation, and the judge/Cafcass pointed out to my ex that his overriding focus should not be on receiving more pics/video footage/more frequent letters than that I was sending every month but on actually responding in an age appropriate way and as outlined in the Order to my daughter.

Good luck

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