To be upset and annoyed at how this very large man ruined our trip to the theatre?

[QueenBean]

It was my birthday a few weeks ago and my boyfriend bought me really good tickets to a show I've been wanting to see. The show is interactive and so he picked seats at the end of the row, about 3 rows from the stage. He booked these about 4 months ago to ensure they were good seats and paid £80 per ticket (I know this because it was printed on the ticket).

When we arrived, there was a morbidly obese man sitting in the seat next to mine. Except he was also taking up part of my seat, arm right over the armrest etc. I was then wedged in my seat, squeezed up to my boyfriend for the whole show. I asked the box office if they had any spare seats but they only had them in row T, far back from our seats and the next price bracket down. They also had some in a box but we wouldn't have been able to join in with the show. They said they wouldn't be able to refund and offer tickets for another day.

I felt really sorry for this man, he was clearly uncomfortable in his chair and kept moving to sort of move away from my seat. I didn't make it in any way obvious that I was uncomfortable or anything.

But I am pretty annoyed about it, and was upset last night about having our lovely trip to the theatre impacted so much by someone else. We booked our seats so far in advance to get suitable ones - why couldn't this man have booked a more suitable seat for himself? The boxes were the same price seats and had free seating (ie, they aren't fixed to the floor so can be moved), I am not sure why he couldn't have booked one of those when one was still free last night.

I am going to get flamed for not being more understanding, but what was meant to be an expensive birthday treat was greatly impacted by this man and I think he could have considered his size more when booking his own seat.

Aibu to feel annoyed at this?

[OurGlass]

Not being a dick, but where could he have gone? Do they have 'plus size' seats or seats totally on their own? All the seats would have been the same I expect.

[DaysAreWhereWeLive]

Well you still saw the show. And were offered an alternative which you didn't take up. I assume the man didn't know when he booked the seats which seats were bolted to the floor or not.

[QueenBean]

He could have sat in a box, which have free seats that aren't fixed to the floor - same price as ours and one was free and unbooked last night

[DaysAreWhereWeLive]

Sorry. Also I am sure he was bloody embarrassed the whole time, but what's his choice. Be a shut in so as not to inconvenience anyone?

[BabyGanoush]

That question is answered in the OP

[feetlikeahobbit]

Perhaps he wanted the interactive experience too and didn't want to be stuck up in a box seat.

[Bonsoir]

You have my sympathies, QueenBean. I am not sure why invading someone else's personal space with one's own flesh is deemed acceptable when invading with anything else of the same dimensions (a small child, a suitcase) is not.

[ilovesooty]

According to you he couldn't have joined in with the show from a box.

Why didn't your boyfriend swap seats with you?

[Marynary]

That kind of thing is irritating but it is just one of those things. Perhaps he should have booked a more suitable seat (if any were available at the same price at the time of booking) but presumably he didn't know about them. Could you not have sat on the steps if there were no other seats?

[morelikeguidelines]

It was your b day - why on earth didn't your boyfriend swap seats with you?

I feel your pain with this but I'm not sure what could have been done.

[QueenBean]

They invite members of the audience up on stage. This man didn't put his hand up to be invited up on stage so I presume he had no interest in going.

Why would it be ok for my boyfriend to be wedged in to this seat with this man instead of me? He is very tall and needs to legroom of being on the end, hence us always booking end tickets so he doesn't impact on other peoples space

[flanjabelle]

This would have irritated me too. I'm going to get flamed for this, but if you can't fit in a seat at a theatre, don't go to the theatre. If I couldn't fit in a seat somewhere for whatever reason I wouldn't go. It's not fair to encroach the ops personal space/seat that she had paid good money for.

[QueenBean]

marynary there were no steps in the theatre, just two columns of seats

[QuiteLikely5]

This is just one of those things. My annoyance would have been firmly put back in its box giving way to empathy. I'm sure he felt embarrassed and uncomfortable and his invasion on your space was not with malicious intent.

Let it go.

[Bonsoir]

QueenBean - of course you are right but you are onto a losing wicket on MN with this well-worked subject matter.

[AuntyMag10]

Yanbu at all but I'm not sure what you could have done. I guess it's just one of those things really.

[QuiteLikely5]

Oh and theatre seats are quite narrow so he may not have realised just how much......

[ouryve]

"I'll have one of the fat seats, please."

Nope, doesn't work. It's a shame you were so uncomfortable, but he probably got cramp in his arse, wedged into one of those seats, too.

[morelikeguidelines]

It wouldn't be alright as such but as it was your bday treat I thought you should be the one to enjoy it. Not sure why his right to comfort trumps yours just because he is taller, but if you were fine with this so be it.

[flanjabelle]

I don't think there is much you can do though op. It isn't the theatre's fault, so they won't give you your money back.

[Bonsoir]

I took the Eurostar recently on my own and a very overweight teen sat next to me. She took off her top and sat in her vest, stinking and overflowing onto me. Needless to say I spent the whole journey standing in the bar carriage.

[ouryve]

if you can't fit in a seat at a theatre, don't go to the theatre.

Should the same also apply to very tall people?

[QueenBean]

If someone is so uncomfortable that they get cramp in their arse from sitting in a theatre seat I'd suggest that it would be more comfortable for them and the people around them to lose weight or not go. Unpopular view as that may be.

[StupidBloodyKindle]

My dh is morbidly obese. This is exactly why he prebooks aisle seats on planes and aisle seats at the cinema, does not go on rides at theme parks but supervises the open car ones or does the rowing.
It is not his stomach, apart from the rides safety rails, it is that he is big armed long legged and a hulk of a bloke. Theatre was not a problem for us as again he would always book the outermost aisle seat with me next to him.
More leg room, noone else encumbered.

Not all big men or women invade space.

[elderflowerlemonade]

Poor girl Bonsoir