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To feel annoyed a friend has used the text from my website on hers?

(21 Posts)
stripytees Tue 23-Jun-15 09:52:12

We both work in the same profession and have become self employed in the past year. I've had a website for a year now, she's set up hers more recently.

I've just looked at hers for the first time and it's pretty much word for word lifted from my website! She has only changed the facts i.e. location and there are maybe 3 different sentences but otherwise it's exactly the same.

I spent ages writing mine to get it just right and I'm feeling pretty annoyed that she's just done a copy-paste job. I should probably feel flattered but aaagh. [angry

I also feel that if anyone who knows us both looks at them, it would look really silly and no one would know mine was the first.

Not sure whether to say anything or just leave it. She really is a good friend and I don't want to upset her - but I feel upset about what she's done.

TopCivilServant Tue 23-Jun-15 09:55:54

Say something! Be friendly and matter of fact- "oh I was just looking at your website, would you mind changing the wording on the bits you've taken from mine so it's not exactly the same?" Keep it jolly.
Or tell her to fuck right off as that's totally out of order of her!

MiddleAgedandConfused Tue 23-Jun-15 09:56:56

She's well out of order....

TheClacksAreDown Tue 23-Jun-15 10:04:49

I would definitely speak to her. Very rude of her.

DoJo Tue 23-Jun-15 10:14:11

If it makes you feel any better, it will probably mean that her site doesn't get indexed by search engines as their 'bots' will see it as a copy of yours! If you want to change her mind about using your text, you could mention this to her and see if it galvanises her into changing it!

pictish Tue 23-Jun-15 10:16:49

I'd say something too. "I think our sites are too similar. Can you see your way to designing your own?"

Hygge Tue 23-Jun-15 10:26:33

I think you will have to say something, otherwise it will eat away at you.

Plus, if there is any chance of you having clients look at both websites, it's going to stand out and look weird, and it might put them off using either of you.

TedAndLola Tue 23-Jun-15 10:31:12

Definitely say something, this is not okay. I would probably be too annoyed to keep it jokey, and that would also give her a way to be breezy back and laugh off your concerns. I think pictish's wording is the best.

FuckFaulknerILikeTheGruffalo Tue 23-Jun-15 10:31:55

You should put a small notice on your site saying how the content is property of stipytees, which you don't actually need to do for it to be copyrighted, but it makes it clear that it is and you know it is.

Then do as pp suggested and explain to her that by copying your site she won't be easy to find on search engines.

And if she doesn't use her own creativity and hard work....? Are you prepared to serve her webmaster/hosting with a notice that it's plagarised work and to request them to delete it? If I were you I'd quite happily try to get it taken down - a lazy, shortcutting, rude person like that would not be someone I'd stay friends with. I think what's she's done is shocking, tbh.

Branleuse Tue 23-Jun-15 10:34:49

tell her. Mate, youve practically lifted my entire wording. I spent AGES doing that. Please dont take the piss. Write your own, you facking wanker.

duckwalk Tue 23-Jun-15 10:36:44

I could have written your op!! Exactly the same thing happened to me a few years back. I done a whole lot of moaning to my poor dh about it but didn't actually say anything to her. We went to uni together but I found her a bit of a pain so we were acquaintances instead of friends, but it miffed me right off!

DumbledoresKnobblyWand Tue 23-Jun-15 10:39:54

Did you become friends through your profession or did she follow you into that too?

I'd have to say something.

OpalQuartz Tue 23-Jun-15 10:42:15

I would say what Topcivilservant and Dojo wrote.

PeppermintCrayon Tue 23-Jun-15 10:42:47

I seem to remember you work in the profession I'm training in. (I don't mean to sound creepy! I just recently searched for any threads relating to it, as I wanted to see if there were any discussions etc.)

In your shoes I think I would say this: "Your website looks great but the wording is very similar to mine and that's not okay with me. Please could you change it."

I find "that's not okay with me" is a useful phrase as it's hard to argue with. Then just use the broken record technique. "I know / I understand / whatever / but it's not okay with me and I'd appreciate it if you changed it."

No apologies, because what she's done is not okay. It's copyright whether you say so or not and it's also just really lazy.

If you don't want to be so serious / heavy handed try gently asking if she realises she's used very similar text to you. She may not!

yellowdinosauragain Tue 23-Jun-15 10:48:06

She is really really out of order and is tell her so .

It's day something along the lines of 'i see you've cut and pasted the content for your website directly from mine. That is really not ok. Please can you take it down?'

If she refused I'd say 'i wasn't actually giving you the choice whether to take out down or not. Your choice is to take it down yourself or for me to take legal steps to have it removed'

I don't know what these legal steps are, reporting to the Web hoster as mentioned by someone else or other but I'd check this out before talking to her so I could be clear on what I would do if she refused to change the content.

bored1602 Tue 23-Jun-15 10:49:44

If she's an acquaintance rather than a friend it may be a case of 'I've read it somewhere but I'm not sure where, but I'll use it as it sounds good' rather than a deliberate effort to plagiarise (of course it's hard to tell not knowing exactly how identical the wording is!)

Either way, it's definitely worth bringing up. Are you in the sort of profession where her slagging you off to her clients will hurt your business? Because if so it might be worth keeping it amicable.

ilovesooty Tue 23-Jun-15 10:51:32

If you're in the area of work I think you are I'd ask her what view she thinks your professional body would have of it.

stripytees Tue 23-Jun-15 10:52:10

We became friends on the training course (3 year professional training) that led to our current profession. Peppermint yes, I think I remember your name from other threads too. Mutual stalking, ha. wink

I'm taken aback because we always supported each other and helped each other out. But this feels like stealing. I think I would have felt ok if she had said "I really love your website and I'm a bit worried I'm not a very good writer, would you mind terribly if I used some of the bits from yours as you've expressed it so well?".

We work in different cities so it's unlikely clients would look at both websites, but mutual friends/colleagues might well do.

I know the text on many websites in our profession is similar but this is definitely a copy-paste job, there are some very specific expressions I used that I recognise.

PeppermintCrayon Tue 23-Jun-15 10:57:40

It's easy to fall in a hole when trying to write a website where, once you read someone else's, you can't think of any other way to word it.

I would talk to her, not accuse her of anything but just comment on the similarity - so she doesn't go on the defensive. I like "that's not okay with me" because it's VERY hard to argue with.

RockinHippy Tue 23-Jun-15 10:57:44

I'm with FFTLTG

YADNBU & unless she has a ton of other good stuff going for her as far as friendship goes & offers you a heartfelt, no excuses apology & takes it down immediately - then I suspect you are better off without her in your life anyway, she sounds like a taker, not a giver & trust me, people like that don't get better with age & you are best shot sooner rather than later.

I speak from experience twice over here, both friends I kept, neither were sorry & went on to do far worse & are no longer friends- the only thing I regret about that was not strongly tackling & dumping them much sooner

True friends don't do shit like this - this is the actions of a self entitled envious pee taker - do yourself a favour & get rid

Good luck with your business ventures

carabos Tue 23-Jun-15 13:04:07

I hate stuff like this. I have a professional friend who seems to use me as her go-to for free stuff hmm. The best one ( and the last one I should add) was when she approached me to say that an opportunity had come up to pitch a valuable piece of strategic work to a major business, which would be great for us to work on together.

Completely fooled, I put the bulk of the presentation together and did all the thinking. Cutting a long story short, it turned out that what I had done was prepare the presentation that she needed for a job interview for a senior and very well-remunerated role at this company, a role I may well have liked a shot at myself shock. If that wasn't bad enough, she got the job.

When I called her on it she said that she had misunderstood and hadn't realised it was an interview not a pitch - still didn't explain why she went along to the interview/pitch without me when we were meant to be working together on it. Never, ever again. Call her on it or else there's no end to it. It's theft.

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