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to sometimes not like my husband

(13 Posts)
maggieryan Mon 22-Jun-15 22:19:41

My husband is very different from me. To the outside world we are very alike, easy going and laid back. I don't actually feel my husband is. He is quite controlling in some ways and gets annoyed if I load the dishwasher the wrong way, orbif hpuse isnt the way he feels it should be
He also isn't as tolerent to people as I would be. I would give anything to anyone, someone begging, someone needing a lift or if someone needed a loan I would try my hardest to help. I'm not saying how great I am because I'm not, I'm loud, and sloppy and quite lazy and I probably am hard to live with but sometimes I feel with with my husband that hes just not a kind person and wouldn't have much as much compassion for people as I would. He's loves me and adores our kids but he's not as kind or considerate to others as I feel he should be and although I don't like him sometimes I love him. Is that possible? Anyone else like this

dougierose Mon 22-Jun-15 22:26:49


MrsTerryPratchett Mon 22-Jun-15 22:30:17

DH wouldn't give money to someone begging, I would (with huge caveats, I work in homelessness so I know the people begging). I still like him while he's not giving money.

He is quite controlling in some ways and gets annoyed if I load the dishwasher the wrong way That would not fly in our house. Don't like how I did it? You just volunteered your professional dishwasher-loading prowess. Unless you are scared of him or worried about what he might do. In which case - LTB.

CrystalHaze Mon 22-Jun-15 22:35:19

It's entirely possible to love someone but not like them at times. Though if the amount of time 'not liking' outweighs the amount of time 'liking' then you've got a problem.

There must be friends/relatives that you've not liked at times, but you still love them?

maggieryan Mon 22-Jun-15 22:35:27

Im not a bit scared of him. Maybe controlling was wrong word. Think he just gets annoyed about silly for exple with the dishwasher. I pack everything into it anyway I can, he goes to unload it and half stuff isn't washes and he gets annoyed about this..I wouldn't see this as big deal and then it leads to argument. As I said aspects I don't like about him and Im with him over twenty years. Just feel if I said this IRL I'd be the only one...maybe I am!

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 22-Jun-15 22:37:07

Sounds like me and DH. I'm a bit slap-dash and lazy, he's a bit morally bankrupt. grin Works well, I find.

dougierose Mon 22-Jun-15 22:38:43

I think he is right. You've admitted that you're sloppy and lazy and now you say you pack everything into the dishwasher and half the stuff hasn't washed.

I get annoyed with my DH if he doesn't rinse off the plates before he puts them in the dishwasher to wash.

slipperssuperior Mon 22-Jun-15 22:40:47

Likewise MrsTerry so no, OP, you are not on your own smile

PintOfJohnSmiths Mon 22-Jun-15 22:42:33

Me and DP are complete opposites. I am very laid back, i leave everything to the last minute, like to laze around. DP always has to be doing something cant sit still for long, whinges about me not getting stuff done. We argue quite a bit!

We are getting married, I'm just going with the flow, he has turned into groomzilla. I'm not kidding

maggieryan Mon 22-Jun-15 22:51:27

Well good to know I'm not on my own. I do love him and years ago there wasnt a thing I didn't like about him but over the years there's a good few things id change and vice versa but I do love him and couldn't imagine him gone from my life but he does drive me bloody mad...

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 22-Jun-15 23:10:50

Funny, I find DH less irritating over the years. I think you have to decide if you can live with the other person's foibles and if you can, "let it goooo, let it gooooo" and channel Elsa...

maggieryan Mon 22-Jun-15 23:30:41

Ha ha I have a two year old and we spend hours...well it seems like hours doing role playing...i.m always ana and she's wonder I don't have time to bloody load a dishwasher properlysmile

valrhona Tue 23-Jun-15 00:11:11

Like MrsTP I've also found my one easier to get on with over the years. Over the years being the operative part of that sentence. He used to drive me utterly bananas about certain things, and still could no doubt. But I recognise that he has his own way of doing the dishwasher which is quite effective so I let him at it. I don't go near the shed (much). He's a hoarder. I'm a wannabe minimalist. It takes time but you work it out. I did want to murder him at various occasions though. grin

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