aspie son given 'not fit to work' note, due to condition ?

[mrsfuzzy]

may be i'm missing something, so please correct me.
in brief ds1, has aspergers, and resides with gm as he found our busy household stressful, did three years computing at/left college 2 years ago, won't sign on, look for work etc. encouraged to go to a like minded group of young people but has not done this yet. does not follow basic daily care for himself and only is addicted to his laptop and gaming.
gm looks after him and won't take rent for him, he does not have any money coming in but that does not bother him at all.
social services involved to give support to gm and him, i help out with my dh and ds1' siblings getting invoved. SW suggested getting him to sign on a scheme where he would only need to sign on every couple of months, that would be great but he won't sign paper work at gms' let alone go somewhere to do it.
SW took him to his gp to get a sick note, i thought this odd as when i'd spoken to the gp before with my son present about the work situation and this was a new huddle' with his condition the gp laughed and said 'can't give you sick note, aspergers is a condition and plenty of people live relatively normal lives with a bit of help'. i thought right okay, fair enough. so SW takes him and he has been signed off for being 'unfit for work' and an open ended date ! wtf ? does this translate to he'll never work, might work in the future or bugger off i'm due a coffee break ? we want to help but at are a dead end
thanks in advance for any thoughts

[electionfatigue]

I'm a GP - obviously wouldn't dream of commenting on your son specifically, but in general I do a "may be fit to work note" which then allows me to put some comments - so if he had been off for a long time I might put "start part time", if there were specific situations that made him uncomfortable I might mention it, or I might put "please liaise with support worker on telephone number xx"

I do very few long term "not fit to work notes" - most people can do something, very few are not fit for anything long term.

[ollieplimsoles]

Didn't want to read and run op, are you concerned that he doesn't have much of a work ethic and this signed off status will not help him get into work in the future

Can I ask how.old he is too?

[RedandYellow24]

A unfit note will only help if he's planning to apply for ESA it does not mean he will get it as need fill in form attending medical then do this every 6-24m depending on hoops they want him to apply for.

If he's already claiming JSA a sick note will mean he didn't have to sign on but they will still want to contact him about getting back to work.

If he can't cope with work he should have some income coming in he can't live on nothing forever. Can any organisations for his condition help? Is he getting DLA/pip for condition

[mrsfuzzy]

elec yes, i'm sure he could do something, that's why i thought i'd ask others opinions.
olliehe's 22 but seems to have got stuck in this rut since leaving college, he's been cleared for depression and other related, does not drink, smoke or do drugs. a lovely lad but needs help.
redthat makes sense about the ESA, i seem to remember that being mentioned and that things like that would need to be sorted if he is to go into a supervised living home. no DLA as he is capable of washing etc just chooses not to without a lot of fuss - phewee!

[RedandYellow24]

Has it been awhile since he applied for DLA? If he has new social worker on board may be worth trying again. If he needs a lot support/nagging to look after his personal needs may qualify for low care. Now he's an adult there are lots things he may qualify on that he didn't do as a teen making meals for example.

[RedandYellow24]

Just saying as if supervised living is an option he obviously needs extra care that with right advice may be able to include in form.

[DarkEvilMoon]

The new care act has changed a lot of the old rules, so it is worth speaking to the CAB or someone similar as what was the case may well have changed under the new rules. There are various help lines specific to the care act in various locations and it is affecting a huge range of people so I suspect that there are possible things that would affect him. Also does the sw have a plan for when the Gm is no longer able to look after him? Could you clarify with the SW what is going on or would that be a breach of confidentiality due to his age?

[CaptainSwan]

Is he getting mental health help? Councilling, or something similar? Would he be better off back with you now or best still with GM?

I wouldn't have thought him being signed off work would be at all helpful personally, he needs coping strategies and motivation to learn and get more out of life not reasons to isolate himself further.

Thrive therapy could really benefit him but it's private only.

[mrsfuzzy]

everyone is being so helpful and giving me new thoughts and questions !
he moved into gm as ours is a very busy house [5 sibs] and he was unable to cope, and lashed out at family members at gm the quieter environment suited him better.
the question of gm not being around either is posing a big problem.

[DarkEvilMoon]

I am going to be horrible and ask this question: "is he reacting because of the busy or because he was being made to face real life rather than hide and avoid it" It was a question that I was thinking about earlier.

My aspie ds will lash out to avoid what is not in his plan rather than because he can't cope. Can totally understand the need to keep other siblings safe and that busy house holds can be stressfull, but also did the quieter environment suit him better because he knows he can get away with avoiding things he doesn't want to face and that you would make him do because it is actually best for his welfare - eg wash, stepped integrative work etc.

[eyebags63]

Given he is 22 and you don't really sound overly involved with his life (he is living elsewhere, etc) I don't really see it is your place to judge.

Very easy for people to say he must be fit for 'something' but I doubt the SW and GP would be stepping in lightly. Are they absolutely sure there is no depression or anxiety complicating the ssituation; lack of self-care and disinterest sounds like a red flag to me.

Problem is there is so little support out there for ASD adults.

[DarkEvilMoon]

Problem is that a lot of ASD individuals also refuse to access the resources that are out there and it does become a tricky balance between the right to make a bad decision and a decision that is potentially self harming (eg forgetting to eat/toilet/sleep because so obsessed with game) At what point do you say he has the right to make stupid decisions and is capable of doing so. Getting the balance between making decisions and being allowed to make decisions, whilst ensuring safety and welfare is so tricky. Even the professionals can get this wrong. And it might be a case that whilst in theory the individual is capable of looking after himself, but in reality he actually needs a lot of support and help and would require a supported residential place. But this is difficult and the resources aren't always available.