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To put dd 7m into nursery so I can go to the gym?

(786 Posts)
Vijac Mon 22-Jun-15 11:00:35

I've just started putting her in for an hour two times a week. The first sessions were ok but today at her 4th session her face just crumpled when I said goodbye which wrenched my heart sad. She obviously realised I was leaving her. Am I mean putting her in just so I can go the gym. I just want to get fit and lose some weight finally. Will I damage her according to attachment parenting? Thanks.

EatShitDerek Mon 22-Jun-15 11:02:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DogWalker75 Mon 22-Jun-15 11:03:25

YANBU. She will get used to it and we all deserve an hour or two of free time smile

chocolateyay Mon 22-Jun-15 11:03:51

Excellent idea! Wish I'd thought of that.

MissJoMarch Mon 22-Jun-15 11:04:45

She'll be fine!

Honestly, both my two pulled Oscar worthy performances at handover only to skip off the minute the door closed and they saw breakfast / toys.

If anything I'd say an hour is possibly too short grin

WorraLiberty Mon 22-Jun-15 11:06:38

I think all 3 of my kid's faces have crumpled at one point when I've said goodbye to them, and I never put them in a nursery.

She'll be fine. It's probably nothing to do with the nursery and everything to do with being 7 months old. I'm sure the staff will distract her and she'll be thinking 'Mummy who?' while she's having fun grin

I've just realised that ^^ looks like I have a kid with three faces, but you know what I mean confused

Vijac Mon 22-Jun-15 11:07:28

Just to clarify she is 7 months not years. Thanks for the responses so far, maybe my fitness regime can comtinue!

ThursdayLast Mon 22-Jun-15 11:07:31

What she'll she as she grows older is a fit mum leading a healthy lifestyle with enough self esteem to be a positive role model.

And for now, a couple of hours with people actually trained And paid To care for her will do no harm at all

Lj8893 Mon 22-Jun-15 11:07:55

My dd goes to nursery one full day a week. When I leave her she cries, and when I pick her up she cries. But the staff assure me she is the happiest child the rest of the day! I think they all do it!

HoldYerWhist Mon 22-Jun-15 11:08:39

She'll be fine! I've watched my dc's faces crumple for a variety of reasons over the years; they're fine! No lasting damage.

The way I see it, she will benefit from socialising, doing activities she wouldn't do with you, and having a healthy and happy parent looking after her.

Don't worry. flowers

LadyintheRadiator Mon 22-Jun-15 11:10:56

I'd make it two half days at least - gym, coffee & a book or shopping or just enjoying a bit of peace. Look after yourself and then you're better able at looking after a baby, IMO.

Liquoricetwirl Mon 22-Jun-15 11:12:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease Mon 22-Jun-15 11:14:07

lots of babies are in nursery full time at that age for working mums, so I really don't think a few hours is any kind of a deal.

WaferInMyCoffee Mon 22-Jun-15 11:14:59

She will be fine! YANBU at all. Enjoy your gym time!

iwantgin Mon 22-Jun-15 11:16:02


She'll be fine - and may even enjoy herself smile

I had no choice but to send DS out to childminders and nurseries when he was younger than that- as I had to work. However I always had an extra half day booked for him when I wasn't working - so I could have some time to myself too.

Seems to have managed to get to 18 okay. Despite him throwing a wobbler occasionally at drop off time.

Enjoy the gym.

SavoyCabbage Mon 22-Jun-15 11:17:26

This was me. I just couldn't do it.

Last week I saw somebody dropping their baby off at the exact same gym and felt utterly ridiculous that I had felt like I was doing dd a disservice somehow by putting her in a nursery so I could do something for myself!

We are still people, just because we are mothers too doesn't mean we should never do anything that is for ourselves.

ReallyTired Mon 22-Jun-15 11:18:43

Attachment parenting expects the mother to martyr herself. I am sure that Dr Sears would be very anti the arrangement of putting a seven month old in nursery while mum went to gym. However I feel you should do what is right for you rather than listening to an american doctor who has never been at home 24/7 with a baby and has never your family. Dr. Sears writes books which are his opinons. There are plenty of parenting books with an opposite opinon.

Happy mother = happy baby (long term at least!)

Tollygunge Mon 22-Jun-15 11:19:57

My daughter was in from 6 weeks!

Writerwannabe83 Mon 22-Jun-15 11:23:23

Go for it.

I sometimes send my DS (14 months) to his childminder for the whole day just so I can have some time to myself grin

PurpleCrazyHorse Mon 22-Jun-15 11:26:16

DD went to the CM from about 8.5mo or so and she would scream and cry as I walked away. Within 30mins my CM had sent me a photo of her happily playing. She'd also start crying the moment I picked her up (where as I'd look through the window and she was playing happily moments before). They can really tug at your heartstrings when they want to grin

DD is 6yo now, very confident, happy to be left with a number of random people and generally is very sociable. Unsure if this is because she was in regular childcare or if it's just her personality, but she doesn't see my parents very often but is really happy to go out on day trips with them.

4kidsandaunicorn Mon 22-Jun-15 11:26:28

I made myself do it and DS spent the hour being doted on by the ladies who ran the creche.

Happy Mum does indeed in my book = happy baby...also, all things in moderation, pick the bits of attachment parenting that suit you then just call it normal parenting and don't do the bits that would make you feel unhappy/tied down/like you can't do the things that make you want to be.

Nolim Mon 22-Jun-15 11:35:43

Will I damage her according to attachment parenting?

I dont know about attachement parenting but childcare does not "damage" children.

What a horrible word.

ReallyTired Mon 22-Jun-15 11:37:14

Attachment parents can be a bit of a cult. I suppose the miltant AP people would expect you to wear your baby and say there is no need to go to the gym. Have another baby and you strengthen your bisceps tandem feeding and baby wearing too children. Permamently pregnant women have no energy for the gym.

Enjoy the gym.

Momagain1 Mon 22-Jun-15 11:46:23

I think, up to a point, the later they become accustomed to being without you, the more traumatic it is. Multiply that crumple by the tantrum a 2 or 3 or 5 year old might throw at the outrage of being seperated for the first time.

Using nursery so you can go to the gym is a fine idea. I second the idea to stretch the time out to include coffee and a bit of reading.

tinymeteor Mon 22-Jun-15 11:47:53

No she's not damaged. Separation anxiety is a stage they all go through but you are leaving her in a safe place with kind people, and it's only an hour! I bet she's fine once you're out of sight. Enjoy your workout!

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