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To think I can't win with this friend

(40 Posts)
Lovewearingjeans Mon 22-Jun-15 10:42:54

I have a friend who is becoming increasingly possessive over me. The latest thing is that my parents have offered to have my dc for us while we go away for four nights (v. Lucky, I know). Anyway, the four nights happen to coincide with said friend's wedding anniversary. She asked me when we were away on FB, I told her the dates, and she responded with the anniversary comment. She has previous for this by becoming jealous when I go out with other friends, but her behaviour is driving me away.

SocialMediaAddict Mon 22-Jun-15 10:44:40

She's jealous you are away for her anniversary? Wouldn't she be celebrating with her husband/partner anyway?

Sounds very odd.

Socalled Mon 22-Jun-15 10:45:15

Not sure I get you - when you said you were going away, she said 'You can't go away then, it's my wedding anniversary'????? Surely not. Unless you are married to her husband (which would be interesting) surely their wedding anniversary is completely irrelevant to you?

RunningJumpingClimbingTrees Mon 22-Jun-15 10:45:19

What was the anniversary comment? sorry but at the moment I can't tell if unreasonable because if she just said "oh that's the same weekend" that's okay but if she said anything more and wanted you to be involved then she's unreasonable....

cuntycowfacemonkey Mon 22-Jun-15 10:46:02

I don't really understand, what was her comment exactly about her anniversary do you normally celebrate each other anniversaries?

BeenWondering Mon 22-Jun-15 10:47:30

I don't understand. Are the two of you supposed to be going away or you and someone else? Isn't the anniversary comment just that? A comment, surely an innocuous observation.
Anyway if you're growing tired of her then there's no reason why you can't detach from her.

MissBananaMama Mon 22-Jun-15 10:47:32

Why does she want to celebrate her anniversary with you?? Or was she just saying: 'ah that's the same weekend as my wedding anniversary' if that's the case then YABU

ThinkIveBeenHacked Mon 22-Jun-15 10:50:12


TheRealMaryMillington Mon 22-Jun-15 10:54:34

What was the comment?

Can't judge otherwise

Is she jealous of you going out with others because she wants you to herself (got to say think that's unlikely in anyone over 11) or envious/jealous/hurt because she's not invited? What makes you think she likes you so much?

Missrubyring Mon 22-Jun-15 10:55:07

Not quite sure I understand OP, what was the comment made by your friend??

Golfhotelromeofoxtrot Mon 22-Jun-15 10:58:56

Really think you're overreacting, it's just chat, isn't it? Conversational "oh, that's the date of my anniversary".

DoreenLethal Mon 22-Jun-15 11:05:33

What did she ACTUALLY say about her anniversary?

TwinkieTwinkle Mon 22-Jun-15 11:10:10

Ummmmmmmm, what?

Whatisaweekend Mon 22-Jun-15 11:18:24

Is she planning a party to celebrate her anniversary and hoped you would attend?

All sounds a bit odd - telling us her exact comment would help us all figure it out but on the surface of it, such weird possesiveness would make me want to detach.

DoJo Mon 22-Jun-15 11:29:08

Agree with everyone else that the details of the comment are relevant, but either way it doesn't sound like she's a good friend if she wants to limit your social life to things that you can do with her and nothing else.

whois Mon 22-Jun-15 12:13:23

This is very strange!

Lovewearingjeans Mon 22-Jun-15 12:42:47

She send me a private message via Facebook saying it was her anniversary, and yes we have celebrated with them before, no plans this year. I think she expected me to save the date again.

twittertwit Mon 22-Jun-15 12:47:39

yes but what did she actually say?

Was it, "are you going away on X date? That's our anniversary"


"Are you going away on X date? Don't you realise that's our anniversary??"

Exact wording is v important to establish whether yabu

TheRealMaryMillington Mon 22-Jun-15 12:48:21

Sorry that doesn't give us any more information really other than you think she wanted you to do something. Which she may or may not.

Did she say " you can't go away then it's our wedding anniversary"? Or "I am really hurt and upset that you have forgotten that it is our wedding anniversary, I wanted us to celebrate together". or "oh, I was planning to invite you to do something with us, but never mind, have a nice time". The first two might be a bit funny, the last, not so much.

QuintShhhhhh Mon 22-Jun-15 12:49:32

You celebrate each-others anniversaries! Thats just odd!

Lovewearingjeans Mon 22-Jun-15 12:58:14

She invites us, not us her........
Realised from my first comment I didn't put the message clearly. I put on FB (prob a whole other reason of wrongness) that we were going away. She pm me asking who was going away , when and then said "that's our anniversary then". Anyway had a big chat with one of her close family member's saying what has happened. Feeling that has sorted it and we are going to go out for a drink when we get back.

PuppyMonkey Mon 22-Jun-15 13:01:47


BeenWondering Mon 22-Jun-15 13:01:57

Even your subsequent posts make no sense OP. But going on what you've said, neither of you are BU and if you want to end the friendship then do so. You are not at liberty to be anyone's friend.

QuintShhhhhh Mon 22-Jun-15 13:02:35

But she had not invited you! How can she even make a point about you making plans when she has not issued an invitation for anything! confused

You are not mind readers!?

FarFromAnyRoad Mon 22-Jun-15 13:03:06

You had a chat about what has happened? I'd have loved to have been there because <<drum roll>> Nothing Happened!

If you had a gun to my head I couldn't tell you when any of my friends' anniversaries are. Weird.

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