Had to nc for this as I think someone involved is on here... sorry. Don't want to drip feed but will try to keep it short.
DP and I aren't married yet. We have been together 4 years and are very happy. We bought a house last year and are working on our careers before having children. It's a conscious decision.
We are both 27. We have spoken about kids and marriage and will get to them when we are ready (which is not yet). In my opinion, this isn't anyone else's business but ours.
DP is from a naice nuclear-style family is a naice village by a rather expensive town - public schooled, sunday schooled etc etc - all very lovely. He has two younger sisters who both still live near home (we dont) and still many close friends that he went to school with.
In the last two months, one of DP's sisters got married and the other one got engaged straight after. Pretty much all of DP's old "home friends" (i.e. friends he went to school with - I think people remain very close after public school maybe?) are married or engaged. A couple aren't, but 90% are, and there are a lot of them.
Every single time we see these people, or his sisters and their partners, the conversation turns to marriage. This is most likely because so many people are engaged, but the conversation almost always turns to us. I am so sick of people asking me why we're not married, making comments like "oh well it'll be you two next" and "you should get a move on" etc. We saw the friends a couple of weeks ago and again this weekend for bbqs and the talk has now graduated to them actually planning what we would have as our wedding venue and how I might get round my family issues for it. I should also point out that last time we went to see DP's family, his sister actually made me try on her engagement ring to see what ring size I was! No amount of telling her it was pointless would appease her. After that, her husband, a doctor no less, told me (direct quote) - "as a doctor, I want to tell you that you should have children within the next 7 years or I wouldn't be able to tell you to continue trying in all good conscience... for the sake of your health".
DP lets all of this wash over him. I try to turn it into a joke as much as possible, but I have now started to feel very uncomfortable and pressured. It's our decision and I feel like we're being held to a standard that everyone else thinks is correct and are being judged for not agreeing!
I try to speak to DP about this, but he is so blind where his family and friends are concerned. He did admit that they went too far this weekend when a friend made the comment that "you better get married soon or we will all have kids and we wont stay at your wedding past 8pm as we'll have to go home", but he wont say anything to them to stop it.
I have told him that, next time, I am going to say something (not sure what yet but it will be fairly cutting if they push me as far as they did this weekend). He says I will cause awkwardness and its not meant to be mean or uncomfortable etc. So MN jury - AIBU to want to tell them to fuck the hell off?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
DP's pushy friends and family
52 replies
PeggySangtheBlues · 22/06/2015 10:19
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.