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To say this before a funeral reading?

(24 Posts)
Flossyfloof Mon 22-Jun-15 10:06:02

I have been asked to do a short reading at a funeral. Family friend. I am stressing a bit already but I think I will be ok. I am thinking of saying something at the beginning like
This reading was chosen by (friend) and I am honoured to have been asked by the family to read it.
Is that the done thing? I don't know if you just stand up and read and then sit down again. I don't know if saying something like that makes it sound as if it is all about me.

Flossyfloof Mon 22-Jun-15 10:06:23

As if I am trying to make it all about me, I mean.

twentyten Mon 22-Jun-15 10:07:47

I understand what you mean. What about just saying this reading was chosen by x?

petitdonkey Mon 22-Jun-15 10:07:50

In my experience you just stand, say the reading then go back to your seat - I can't see in any way anyone would take offence at you saying a few words but, although I can't explain why, I wouldn't. Sorry for your loss x

Buttercup27 Mon 22-Jun-15 10:08:09

I think that sounds quite nice.

MrsMcColl Mon 22-Jun-15 10:08:53

It is an honour to be asked. But honestly, I think it's better not to say so - just stand up and read it as well as you can. Let the words of the reading do the speaking. All the best with it.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Mon 22-Jun-15 10:09:34

I think it sounds lovely OP.

Purl1Knit1 Mon 22-Jun-15 10:09:49

I've heard people say something like that at funerals before; it's been fine. Although, if there's a minister/vicar, he/she may introduce it for you.

TheRealMaryMillington Mon 22-Jun-15 10:10:25

Don't say the honoured bit. Just the bit about your friend choosing it.
Don't stress. Do practice.
Sorry you are having to do this.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Mon 22-Jun-15 10:11:10

Is it the friend who has died who has chosen the reading?

DonkeyOaty Mon 22-Jun-15 10:12:55

It's fine to make that short intro.

Usually the vicar/minister explains "now a reading by Flossy" and you step up to the lectern or wherever at the front and do the reading. Sometimes people applaud, don't be startled.

Wrt the actual piece, practice at home, feels a bit weird tbh. Try to slow down your natural delivery (voice of experience)

I am so sorry for your loss.

Flossyfloof Mon 22-Jun-15 10:12:59

She's not keen on the vicar and things have been decided, more or less insisted on by the vicar, that's he's not keen on. Maybe that's why I thought about it. I won't have any contact with the vicar beforehand so I won't know what he is going to say by way of introduction.

Socalled Mon 22-Jun-15 10:13:01

I think people would like to know their dead friend had chosen the reading, so do just say that by itself (unless said friend chose all elements of the ceremony, in which case someone will presumably have said that on the order of service or at the beginning) - anything else sounds too performance-y. Sorry for your loss, Flossy.

And yes, practice. You'll be fine.

Flossyfloof Mon 22-Jun-15 10:14:05

Sorry no a family friend has died and a member of their family who is also a friend has asked me to read.

Dowser Mon 22-Jun-15 10:16:10

I've done three eulogies now and I think people welcome a bit of personalisation to what used to be such a stilted service years ago.

I think to say what you intended, saying you feel honoured shows how much the other person meant to you which gives comfort to the bereaved family.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Mon 22-Jun-15 10:17:06

Hmm, maybe not then. I thought the friend who had died had actually chosen the reading and therefore it would have be lovely to have said that before reading it.

Flossyfloof Mon 22-Jun-15 10:18:23

Apologies I am trying to be a bit circumspect here. It is not the person who has died who has chosen the reading.
I have done lots of public speaking but nothing like this, from my own experience I know it feels nice to have someone who actually knew the person to read and it is so hard for a member of the family to do it. I don't expect anyone would say anything but the thought of anyone saying "who does she think she is. She made it all about her, " is appalling!
OMG I would about faint if anyone applauded, I have never come across that before!
I will try to read slowly too, I think when you are nervous you do tend to rush through things.

DonkeyOaty Mon 22-Jun-15 10:19:37

Ah I see.
No need for intro then. Sorry I misunderstood the friend bit.

Flossyfloof Mon 22-Jun-15 10:20:25

Thanks very much for your responses and condolences. Much appreciated, we don't do this kind of thing often do we? In my experience you don't really dissect the service ( not if it is your loved one anyway) but I want to get it right.

Flossyfloof Mon 22-Jun-15 10:21:00

Great name Donk!

DonkeyOaty Mon 22-Jun-15 10:24:01

Agree we don't really dissect this sort of thing. I totally get your feeling of wanting to get it right.

Flossyfloof Mon 22-Jun-15 10:28:07

It feels especially important as my friend is a bit fed up with other decisions that have been made about the service.
I have said that it comes and goes, you are not really conscious of anything except getting through it.
I keep on thinking about the applause, do I take a bow? Only joking, we have been saying at the weekend how it is funny how you can still smile and laugh and actually that is what the reading is about
Thanks so much.

DonkeyOaty Mon 22-Jun-15 10:33:30

Just smile, you may find that you nod your head inadvertently!

If any other questions pop up do ask, we're here.

When I did my dear old Dad's eulogy yes I did retell some small funnies and the congregation roared (about a pig of all things #farmers)

Anyway enough about me.

flowers these are for you.

Flossyfloof Mon 22-Jun-15 10:54:54

Thank you.

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