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About my birthdays

(15 Posts)
Heartbreakhotel15 Sun 21-Jun-15 20:07:17

I know Iabu.

I'm 25 in a week and abit.

Since I was 15 not one person has bothered with my birthday. I met my ex abusive husband at 16 and every year until 23 he would "punish me" by with holding my card, or not letting the kids write it, or throwing the present at me.

My dad doesn't do my birthday, not a card nothing, he does for my older sister.

Last year he didn't even ring me on my birthday.
My mum died when I was 19, even mum didn't really give me a card or anything.

My sister lives 20 min walk away, in the same small town.
She has face booked me to ask for my address so she can post my birthday card! Because she "couldn't leave her dog at home for that amount of time".

I'm sat crying right now.

I will get a card and -finally have a lovely dp-- some presents off dp this year.

I feel so unloved. I don't get anything for Xmas either btw.

I just want someone to make an effort and actually put thought into me. I have no friends due to PND so won't get anything there either.

I want something thoughtful.

CaptainAnkles Sun 21-Jun-15 20:09:41

I'm so sorry sad how awful that they can't be bothered. Sending you virtual wine and thanks

TTWK Sun 21-Jun-15 20:14:01

I tend to put birthdays into perspective. The tiny pale blue rock I inhabit has competed another successful lap of the nearest fiery ball of gas. It matters not one jot. If anyone acknowledges this celestial circumnavigation then that's very nice. If they don't, then I won't lose any sleep over it.

So what I'm saying OP is, as politely as possible, fuck 'em. Just enjoy the fact that you're alive.

steppedonlego Sun 21-Jun-15 20:18:28

You are not being unreasonable at all. It's not about the gifts, it's about having a day in the midst of a busy life where you feel like the people who are closest to you care about you.

I also have family that are kind of crap for birthdays (and crap all year too) my only advice is to look at what you do have, and cherish it. You say you have children? Maybe make yourself a cake with them, have some balloons and an evening falling about laughing with a piñata? These are the people that matter, not your ex, your sister, or your crappy dad. flowers

pasturesgreen Sun 21-Jun-15 20:22:01

Here, have some cake and flowers, OP.
Try to enjoy your celebration with your DP

Heartbreakhotel15 Sun 21-Jun-15 20:33:55

Thank you x

Balanced12 Sun 21-Jun-15 20:36:43

Happy Birthday for next week and a bit flowers

MrsTedCrilly Sun 21-Jun-15 20:47:03

It is sad if you like celebrating birthdays.. Just to be acknowledged and thought of. It can be hard seeing people go out for a family dinner for theirs, night on the town, presents from friends etc.. But you have the power now to make your own family traditions! Your dad, sister etc won't change but you can control what your immediate family does. Make it a thing to go out and do something, ask DP to make you breakfast in bed with little one etc smile

RepeatAdNauseum Sun 21-Jun-15 20:52:30

I sympathise, OP. I'm 25 in a few weeks and have no family - four sisters somewhere but they were taken into foster care and never tried to reconnect, no parents anymore but they were abusive and didn't celebrate my birthday anyway.

For the past eight years DP has been showing me how amazing birthdays can be, getting me a cake and a card, and it's been lovely. I looked forward to my birthday for the first time ever last year. But we split in March.

It sucks. I can't see a way to improve it, really, but I've made a real effort to ensure I send a lovely card and thoughtful gift whenever I know it's someone's birthday this year, even if I don't know them well. Just incase they didn't get anything else nice, or they were feeling abandoned.

I hope your day is good and you feel special.

AdeleDazeem Sun 21-Jun-15 20:52:40

Mightn't mean much from an Internet randomer but flowers and cake and wine from me too.

Try not to dwell on the less supportive people in your life and it's great that you do now have a decent DP who will make it a bit special. And dont forget to make the day a bit nice for yourself. It's something important to you so arrange some treats for yourself - whatever you like/can afford/ have time for. I know it's nice to have someone make an effort for you but it's a different kind of nice to kick back with something you've arranged for yourself and remind yourself that you deserve to treat yourself from time to time.

Happy birthday Heart - I usually think people are BU on the "my birthday" threads but you are not - you just want it acknowledged not the moon on a stick from all and sundry.

That said forget your extended family and celebrate with the important people - your DC and DP. If it's an option financially and logistically then go out for a meal with them (for my 40 th I realised all I actually wanted was a really good steak at a particular restaurant with my DH and kids - all the other ideas suggested were about other people, or about being able to say I'd done something special - but not what I actually wanted at all.

Buy yourself a cake or make one with the kids (or ask your DP to do one of those) and plan something with your DH and kids, and don't dwell on your"old" / extended ffamily.


WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Sun 21-Jun-15 21:07:06

Happy birthday cake wine
In a few more years, you will be able to share birthday celebrations for yourself and your little person.
Be a better parent than yours were!
Move forward without them.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Sun 21-Jun-15 21:08:50

Sorry. I thought you were 25 weeks... Not 25 in a week.
Damaged screen.
Enjoy your birthday with dp and dcs

Momagain1 Sun 21-Jun-15 22:19:05

I am sorry,
OP. But with your new DP, it sounds like things are looking up. There will be his recognition.

Happy Birthday from me!

fastdaytears Sun 21-Jun-15 22:33:33

It sounds like this year might be different and I really hope it is. wine and cake are lovely and I hope you get some lovely things, but also just recognition and made to feel special.

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