AIBU to think that some women don't appreciate their gorgeous little boys?(86 Posts)
No. My friends have moments of exasperation with their kids whatever their sex.
I think you might just be more attuned to complaints about boys as you have them.
I've never heard any specific negativity about boys, except from my Grandma who always told me I "needed a daughter" or I'd end up alone in old age - but this was based on her experience of my uncle being distant and useless and my mum doing everything for my Grandma.
I know lots of parents of boys and parents of girls and everyone has a moan sometimes but I have never felt like parents of boys don't appreciate them...
What makes me sadder is your assumption that little boys and little girls are fundamentally different in their interests and behaviour
No - not at all, have 3 boys, don't want them to leave at all
equally know they will go at some point and don't want to be clinging needy mother
Oldest has left but is coming on holiday with us and likely to be back depending on his work which I view as all positive
I know you don't mean to but this just feeds into the boy v's girl debate.
Kids are kids, regardless of gender. They can all be annoying, exasperating at times.
I adore my
princes boys, friends with boys adore theirs.
No. I've heard people say derogatory things in front of their children, that make me sad, but it's not related to their sex.
I'm also saddened by people who limit the opportunities for their sons (and daughters) by making assumptions about what they'll be like and what interests they'll have based on their sex. Now that is rife. Imagine hearing your parent say that in front of you when you know you don't fit in that box.
God, I must be the exception then, I wouldn't swap for the world. I'm glad I do not have to deal with Frozen 24/7 and disney princesses. I took my son browsing for comics yesterday, we have so much more in common. I was never a girly girl so it suits me. The moments of exasperation are much more down to him being a child than his sex.
He's absolutely gorgeous in my eyes!
I've never really heard this.
I do hear a lot about boys being so affectionate and girls being drama queens but that's on here.
I have one of each. They are both lovely. I don't find my son notably affectionate - he is, but not in the way described by Mumsnet; he isn't demonstrative or tactile. My daughter is but she is younger.
I have one DC, he is a little boy, I was overjoyed when I saw him for the first time, I was overjoyed when they said he was a boy at my 20 week scan. However, I was at the airport yesterday picking someone up and before this person arrived a school cricket team arrived from Australia. Without exception they were all fiddling with their penis's. Very casually and it made me want to vomit, I looked down at my cheerub DS and hoped he wouldn't be so gross in the future.
Yep here we go there is more to parenting a girl than Disney.
But I am sure you know that.
I adore the bones of my two boys, love them to the ends of the earth. But I freely admit that they exasperate and infuriate me at times, and probably have said so in front of friends. I daresay I'd be equally infuriated if we'd had girls instead; kids can be pains in the backside sometimes. Most families we know are exactly the same.
You can be open about the fact that your children are hard work and still be appreciative of them.
I know what you're saying OP and I do agree. Surprisingly though, the people I know with these opinions are mothers of daughters only. One lady openly told me "I hope to god it's another girl. I couldn't deal with a boy!"
I was shocked. It was followed by complains of how 'ugly' baby boy clothes supposedly are along with the boisterous etc comments. I find it really annoying and don't understand it
My little boy is a sweetheart. Who else would I have to play batman with without him?
I think you are picking out on the negativity because deep down that is how you feel and you are blind to all the positive comments your friends probably make. DH and I have
not joked in the past about DDs leaving home, I think a lot of parents say it in passing.
You appear to have a very stereotypical opinion that all boys like insects, dinosaurs and superheroes. Both my DD are obsessed with dinosaurs. I think you need to start seeing past the sex of your DSs and see them as just children. Little boys and little girls are not that different.
I had a boy first, then a girl. I have never felt like that about my lovely sensitive quiet dinosaur hating boy... or about my adventurous energetic insect loving smart girl. My DS has never been into superheroes (he is my superhero though). My DD spends all her spare time in the garden looking after her
pets insects. Her brother is also her superhero. Boys rock. Girls rock too.
Shockingly, my son loves Frozen and my daughter loves gunge. Wow who's have thought eh?
I know quite a few people who are very negative about their second child - in all cases I know the children are the same sex but the first happened to be an exceptionally easy/ well behaved child.
One of those parents has only girls and has always been negative about boys generally, so if her second 'horror' had been a boy not a girl I have no doubt she would blame it on that.
I've had the opposite experience, I've heard many mums talk badly about their daughters, freely admit that their boys are their favourites or say they are glad they never had a girl.
Either way it is miserable though, I do think people should watch what they say in front of their children. Obviously sometimes people will get exasperated and say something because they just are at breaking point, but if it is regular it isn't okay at all.
I do have friend who has all girls who says things like 'I don't know how you cope with a boy, he will never sit and colour you know'.
It's all madness. I adore my DD and DS. DS loves sticking and gluing with his sister despite my friend's insistence to the contrary. If anything DS has always been better at quietly occupying himself with his trains or whatever.
Oh gosh not all little girls are obsessed with Disney princesses fgs
I have never heard someone talking in the way you describe on OP, and so am amazed this is a widespread problem.
(OTOH, as parent of teens, hyperbole about 'can't wait for them to leave home' is not uncommon. But it's based on the latest awful event, not sex of teen).
I get "three boys, you must have your hands full" and "can you imagine if you went again and got another?" or "how do you manage with THREE BOYS" quite a lot, actually. I did when I lived in the UK, I have done since I moved country.
A woman in playgroup asked me did I find that "boys under three were a bit dead in the eyes compared to girls, you know, the way they're a bit slower". She was from Italy and told me her mother and all her sisters told her boys "give you nothing" as babies!!!!
Perhaps I was more "attuned" to that as I have boys, but I don't think that's a comment about being exasperated, but one that suggests quite a problematic view of boys.
Sorry, I think I worded that a bit more attack-y than I meant to.
To summarise, yes I think YABU but are maybe just more sensitive to the comments because you only have DSs, I think you don't feel you can relate to the comments about DDs as much as you don't have them IYSWIM, but I think if you get past the gender-stereotyping you'll see that a lot of the comments parents of DSs and DDs make are pretty much the same .
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I have heard some parents say negative things about their children. Sometimes it's sons, sometimes it's daughters.
I've also heard some parents of boys say how awful girls are, and some parents of girls say how awful boys are.
I think the only conclusion to draw from it is that some people say unkind or thoughtless things and sometimes those people are parents.
I have boys. I think they're fantastic. They also drive me up the wall sometimes I suspect if I had girls I would think they were fantastic and they would also drive me up the wall sometimes.
In summary. It's not because they have boys, it's because those people choose to say negative things. They would say them regardless their parental status.
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