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AIBU to expect to use the en-suite shower if it's the only decent shower in the house?

(330 Posts)
climbingquickly Sat 20-Jun-15 21:19:12

Stayed 3 nights with DH's friends. They stay with us from time to time. (FYI we have a family bathroom with walk-in shower plus an extra bathroom downstairs with bath only, our guests welcome to use both). They had a new house, gave us the guided tour. Lovely guestroom with a guest bathroom next to it but guest bathroom only had a bath with a shower-attachment (think 3/4 tiled bath with a low-level shower attachment designed for hair-washing). Their en-suite had a walk-in power shower.

So first morning, after breakfast I asked hostess can I use your walk-in shower, she looked surprised but said ok. So I had a quick 10-min shower. When I came out her DP was in bedroom doing up his shirt, he looked at me in shock, said 'guest bathroom's down the hall' so I explained his wife had said i can use en-suite as I wanted a proper shower. Later my DH said his friend had asked him to tell me not to use their en-suite next time! blush

So for rest of visit I had to crouch in bath-tub washing myself with a handheld shower attachment! DH shrugged it off but i think it's very rude not to let guests use the only decent shower! Was IBU to think they should have let us use their en-suite?

PresidentTwonk Sat 20-Jun-15 21:21:15

I let guests use my ensuite shower! It's the only shower in the house so it would never have crossed my mind to not let them!

reallybadidea Sat 20-Jun-15 21:21:55

YWBU to ask to use their bathroom I think. However it was also really rude of them to tell you not to use it again.

WorraLiberty Sat 20-Jun-15 21:22:14

I think you were a bit rude to ask to be honest.

Nothing wrong with having a bath while you're there, even if you do prefer a shower.

alicemalice Sat 20-Jun-15 21:23:27

YABU - you just didn't like the other shower/bath. It was encroaching on their privacy.

Fugghetaboutit Sat 20-Jun-15 21:23:49

Why not have a bath and rinse after

nuttybananas Sat 20-Jun-15 21:24:08

Nope - its one of the things I seem to have seen often in the townhouse new builds. My best friend's house is like this but she is brilliant and insists I use the good shower in their en-suite...

QuiteLikely5 Sat 20-Jun-15 21:24:30

I would certainly offer you the choice of bath or shower. After all you are a guest.

I think the husband was rude in saying what he did.

LaurieFairyCake Sat 20-Jun-15 21:24:47

The guest facilities were adequate and it's up to them to decide - I also think it wasn't exactly etiquette to ask

If I had an en suite I wouldn't let anyone else use it including the kids. I suppose I'd have to let DH use it grin

MajesticWhine Sat 20-Jun-15 21:24:49

YWBU -bath with shower attachment is perfectly acceptable. Might not be what you wanted, but probably better manners just to accept it.

Fluffyears Sat 20-Jun-15 21:24:51

I wouldn't let anyone use my en suite. It's in my bedroom which is private. There were adequate facilities so yabu.

honeyroar Sat 20-Jun-15 21:26:42

YABU. I wouldn't dream of asking. Some friends invite you to use the en suite, others don't. If not it's no hardship to use the other shower for two days.

TheyreMadITellYouMaaaad Sat 20-Jun-15 21:26:54

Your friend WBU not to tell her dh that you were in the ensuite.

YANBU to ask, but YABU to expect.

I wouldn't have done it, nothing wrong with a bath and shower attachment for a few days, but given that you felt it necessary it would have been rude of her to say no and she should have told her DH to save awkwardness. Did he really not realise you were in there?

Also, a "quick ten minute shower?" A quick shower is about a minute in our house, even one with hair washing and leg shaving would only be about 5 minutes, I wouldn't dream of having a shower that long in someone else's house, all that hot water.

Thurlow Sat 20-Jun-15 21:27:31

This is one of those bit of both ones.

I'd say they were quite U not to offer guests staying several days a chance to use the decent shower.

However, it was probably a bit U to ask to use it. Just as previous threads on here have shown people get a bit 'private' about their en suite.

WorraLiberty Sat 20-Jun-15 21:27:42

I don't think the Dh was rude.

The poor fucker was doing up his shirt, in his own bedroom.

I'm quite sure he wasn't expecting company, so I think he reacted rather well.

mileend2bermondsey Sat 20-Jun-15 21:27:49

I dont think you were BU, you're friends arent you, its not like it was some random stranger waltzing through the house. The hostess should have let her DH know you were using the shower, I don't know how he wouldnt have heard the power shower from the bedroom anyway?

I think they were poor hosts to their guests and the husband would have made me feel uncomfortable after his request.

BerylStreep Sat 20-Jun-15 21:28:10

I think they should have let you use it, but I also think you were a little rude to ask in the first place.

You could have had a bath I suppose. But yes, I wouldn't expect my guests to crouch in the bath when there is a shower elsewhere. That said, the husband clearly didn't realise you were there, and perhaps that was the issue?

littlesupersparks Sat 20-Jun-15 21:28:27

Our house is like this. I hate it when people ask to use the en suite. It's the last place I get to cleaning and usually grubby. A bath is totally adequate with a shower attachment or a jug. It's not like you weren't provided with washin facilities! It's a bit odd she didn't tell her husband you were showering though...

GloGirl Sat 20-Jun-15 21:28:29

There was the exact thread written from the other perspective a couple of weeks ago, was a huge thread, going to have to see if I can find it now.

<hopeful for drama>

mileend2bermondsey Sat 20-Jun-15 21:29:32

even one with hair washing and leg shaving would only be about 5 minutes
Fuck me, are you the flash?? That would take me about 20 mins.

GloGirl Sat 20-Jun-15 21:30:29

shock

mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2356171-To-think-guests-do-not-need-to-use-our-en-suite-as-well-as-the-family-bathroom

DorisLessingsCat Sat 20-Jun-15 21:30:49

You're being a bit precious. Unless you have mobility issues it's hardly a major inconvenience to use a hand held shower in a bath for a few days.

TheBookofRuth Sat 20-Jun-15 21:31:12

I was about to mention that exact thread glogirl!

WorraLiberty Sat 20-Jun-15 21:32:28

I don't know. Isn't it a bit Mariah Carey-ish to insist on having a shower when you've been offered a perfectly good bath?

It's only for a couple of days and not like they offered you metal tub in the back garden.

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