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To be annoyed at my mum snoring away on the couch

(62 Posts)
HappyGoLuckyGirl Sat 20-Jun-15 09:01:34

Me and 2yo DS are staying at my mums in between moving houses. She has my nephew every weekend, either one or both nights.

Last night he stayed over. My DS woke about 7am and I could already hear my nephew chatting in my mums room. Anyway, I get me and DS up and nephew comes out and joins us in the living room. Mum stayed in bed and didn't get up for another 45mins and only when I asked her.

She's now snoring on the sofa, leaving me to look after him!

I don't necessarily mind looking after him as he's my nephew and him and DS love to play but it does add to my stress levels as he doesn't like how young my DS is and how differently he plays (nephew is 5) so gets angry and shouts at DS.

I think it's rude of her to tell my Sister that she's looking after him when she bloody isn't, I am! He is her responsibility when he's here and yet she's snoring away on the couch and I'm left to it.

I don't get to snore on the couch. She's basically assigned me as babysitter so she can continue sleeping. No one likes early mornings but that is something you have to put up with when you offer to have a 5yo overnight!

If he wasn't here she would have stayed in bed, which I can completely understand! But he is here and she should be entertaining him and looking after him instead of sleeping.

AIBU to be slightly pissed off?

ShatnersBassoon Sat 20-Jun-15 09:03:53

She's doing you a favour by letting you stop there. You're doing her a favour by looking after your nephew for a bit. You don't need two adults to watch two children.

TheBookofRuth Sat 20-Jun-15 09:07:14

I think I'd be more inclined to be annoyed with your sister, for leaving her son overnight with your DM when it's clearly too much for her.

RoganJosh Sat 20-Jun-15 09:07:32

I'm sure there'll be moments when she's looking after both children so it might even out a bit.
Plus she's doing you the favour by having you in the first place. I think you asking her to get up because you can't cope with an extra child is a bit much.

Slutbucket Sat 20-Jun-15 09:08:47

Put a blanket over her and let her sleep.

haveabreakhaveakitkat Sat 20-Jun-15 09:09:07

Rent somewhere then instead of freeloading at your mums.

ThedementedPenguin Sat 20-Jun-15 09:09:14

YABVU

She may have had an awful night and is exhausted, give her a break.
I'd wake her up and tell her to go back to bed for an hour or so.

HappyGoLuckyGirl Sat 20-Jun-15 09:09:38

I appreciate that she's doing me a favour by letting me stop here but I'm also doing her a favour as the board I'm paying her is going towards a buying a car. It was a help help situation.

I also do all the cooking and cleaning.

I don't think what she is doing is fair. You don't offer to look after a child and then pass that childcare onto someone else. It would be different if he lived here full time, it would be part and parcel of staying her. But she is directly offering to look after him and isn't doing.

HappyGoLuckyGirl Sat 20-Jun-15 09:10:59

And she doesn't look after my DS at any point.

TheBookofRuth Sat 20-Jun-15 09:11:47

So why ask AIBU when you've clearly already decided you're not? Hate it when people do that.

MrsNextDoor Sat 20-Jun-15 09:13:33

YABU and I agree it's obviously too much for her. How old is she?

TwinkieTwinkle Sat 20-Jun-15 09:13:55

You sound unnecessarily resentful. Families chip in. It's a morning with your nephew, it's not like she said she'd watch him for a week and then waltzed out tsb door. YABU.

HagOtheNorth Sat 20-Jun-15 09:16:16

Really?
I'm so glad neither of you are my DD, I'd be telling you to think on if you wanted to live with me and begrudged me an extra 45 minutes snoozing to the point that you woke me up to tell me you were prepared to deal with one child but not two.
Your family dynamics sound very odd. When do you move out?

HappyGoLuckyGirl Sat 20-Jun-15 09:16:36

I haven't decided I'm not BU, I was giving my reasoning as to why I don't think she's being fair.

She's 46. And she asks to have him every weekend as she is very attached to him. My sister readily agrees but it is my mum who asks.

He recently came out of hospital after 4 days and my mum insisted on having him over that night. He was still up at 10pm very upset and still unwell but she insisted he stayed there.

HappyGoLuckyGirl Sat 20-Jun-15 09:18:47

Yes, I'll admit that our family dynamics are very odd and there is an element of resentment.

But I try to help her as much as I can even when not living here, I did lots for her. And now I do everything housework wise. It's not that she is incapable it just makes an easier life for me.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 20-Jun-15 09:19:19

Sorry but she's doing you a favour and helping you out. You should be as nice to her and help her out.

TwinkieTwinkle Sat 20-Jun-15 09:19:50

Again, you sound really resentful.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 20-Jun-15 09:20:40

I've just noticed your user name OP grin

HappyGoLuckyGirl Sat 20-Jun-15 09:22:59

Yeah...maybe it's time for a change. I used to be that girl I swear. grin

I haven't said anything to her by the way, I have let her sleep so I'm not an absolutely huge bitch!

Discopanda Sat 20-Jun-15 09:23:18

If he's been up that late then YABU, let her have a lie in! I'm a SAHM and DP wakes up early every morning for work but I still get a lie in at the weekends.

TendonQueen Sat 20-Jun-15 09:23:50

Insisting on having him the night he came out of hospital is weird. I would talk to your sister and say she needs to pull back from this as your mum is clearly tired and in an odd state of mind.
The other answer to this problem from your point of view is to move out. How much longer were you planning to be there?

chippednailvarnish Sat 20-Jun-15 09:26:18

Why don't you go out with your Ds, then she'll have to get up?

If you knew she's difficult, I don't understand why you choose to move in.

HappyGoLuckyGirl Sat 20-Jun-15 09:27:08

He went to bed at 8pm last night.

I get what you're saying but he isn't her child and ahe offers to look after him then doesn't. But I guess I'm BU.

She's still sleeping so I'll leave her to it.

HappyGoLuckyGirl Sat 20-Jun-15 09:29:24

Me and DS are going out to a lovely garden party after lunch. Popping to the shops and then to my friends beforehand.

If I speak to my sister then my mum will go mad at me as she is very attached to my nephew and would be extremely angry if she couldn't have him with her.

HappyGoLuckyGirl Sat 20-Jun-15 09:29:56

And just another couple of months then we're off.

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