To still have no confidence 4 years on?

[elderflowerlemonade]

I resigned from a teaching post 4 years ago after having had a pretty horrible experience.

I've been mostly a SAHM since then with brief forays into volunteering and tiny bits of stuff.

We've recently made the decision to educate the DCs privately and I know that's a lot of money and am conscious my working would help.

But I have concluded I've no confidence in my ability to do a decent job anywhere.

AIBU? And how to stop feeling like this?

[MaggieJoyBlunt]

You poor thing. It isn't really a question of 'reasonable' is it?

What do you want to do? Do you want to teach?

How about completely retraining?

[runningmummy1]

Feel free to message me, I have been there too.

[fastdaytears]

Of course not U. But if you want to get back into work then you absolutely can. confidence isn't something you have or don't have. You've had a knock and now you can build the confidence back up or you can focus your energies somewhere else. Neither are U.

More teaching, something aligned but different or something totally different?

[Rubylee87]

I understand how you feel. It can be daunting going back after a long break. Have you got any positive comments from observations during training or from previous schools? Reading those will give you confidence. Maybe you could do short term supply teaching or fixed term contracts until you feel confident to go back full time. It takes a resilient person to get through the training. Believe in yourself because you're definitely capable. Don't let that bad experience hold you back

[elderflowerlemonade]

I don't think retraining is an option unfortunately.

I don't have any feedback anywhere - qualified in 2004, taught until 2011 and that school finished me off I think!

[MaggieJoyBlunt]

Museums, arts organisations and similar employ teachers in educational officer type roles. Would that appeal? Completely different working environment, reasonable money and you could volunteer your way in.

[elderflowerlemonade]

I don't think many are available to be honest and I'm not a history or art teacher

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

A bad experience is just that - one bad experience. It doesn't mean you are a bad teacher, or you couldn't succeed. I've been there too (although not a teacher). In fact, I've done several jobs where I've left feeling that I'd done a terrible job because of one or two small things. Maybe you're a bit of a perfectionist? Maybe none of it was your fault? Could you tell us a bit more about what happened?

I reckon you are just a bit down and depressed, and can totally pull it together and get back to teaching.

[CtrlAltDelicious]

If you're going to do it - look now!
This is the time of year many schools are still scratting about trying to find available teacher for September, but obviously the resignation date has now passed.
I bet you could find a school near you looking for a September starter.

[MaggieJoyBlunt]

Sorry I was assuming primary trained for some reason.

It's all transferable skills anyway.

Maybe a transferable skills audit would be a good idea?

[elderflowerlemonade]

I'm not really looking for this year, to be honest, but it's a possibility for the future.

It was a difficult set of circumstances - I was observed with a tricky class and it didn't go well and they wouldn't leave me alone then until I resigned - only took 6 weeks for me to get to that point.

[TwoOddSocks]

I have no advice but I totally understand the feeling. I finished my PhD three years ago just as DS was born and I'm terrified of returning/starting to work (and of not working and wasting all my education). Would you consider tutoring one on one to start off with just to dip your toe's in the water?

[elderflowerlemonade]

I've done bits of tutoring but it's whole class teaching - school environments really - I'm 'scared' of.

[Icelandicsuperyoghurt]

Also understand that feeling, though at a lower level, as a TA. Worked for a sod of a woman who undermined everything I did. I felt absolutely useless, incompetent and like a dithering wreck in her presence and I couldn't stand up to her bullying. It sounds as if your life was made miserable until you resigned which is horrible and very confidence sapping. But it was a difficult class, you were caught at a bad time but that doesn't mean you are not up to the job in a different setting, or a different but relevant job in another setting.

I've been out of education for a while so don't know if there are still many mentoring jobs around. Like TwoOddSocks suggests, what do you think about tutoring? Adult literacy/numeracy? Something on these lines would hopefully give you back some faith in your abilities, away from a more formal classroom environment?

If you are not looking for a job for the next academic year, could you use that year to do some voluntary work in school (reading matters etc) to ease yourself back into an education setting in a non-threatening way?

[Icelandicsuperyoghurt]

Sorry, just read your OP again and see that you have been volunteering.

[elderflowerlemonade]

I've done bits It is difficult as one day, if I'm going to work again, I'll have to "bite the bullet" so to speak.